The little Miracle
by BloodyMiry
Summary: Set after "Normal Again". Spike left Sunnydale and has been gone for 5 years. He returns to track down and win Buffy back. What he finds when he gets there is the last thing he expected. *Now Complete*
1. Maggie

Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I'm just borrowing them to indulge my muse. Maggie, Chloe, and Alex are my characters, although you won't really be seeing too much of Chloe and Alex.

Notes: This is a future-fic, taking place a little over 5 years after "Normal again". It'll also have some flashback scenes to explain the background, but I'll be sure to let you know what's going on in the notes :)  Spoiler alert: any and everything on the show up until Normal again is fair game. It goes on it's merry way after that. Please review, it encourages me to write quicker. Ok, here we go……..

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Spike drove along the winding roads, coming upon a familiarly straight stretch of road. The August sun in the mid-afternoon should have been deadly, and he was thankful for the protection of his heavily tinted windows. His eyes drifted ahead and he laughed to himself at the previous fate that befell the landmark he gazed at. He pulled his car over to the side of the road, thinking how juvenile he'd been all those times before to try and destroy it, noting bitterly how it kept coming back like a Phoenix from the ashes. As he looked at the landmark, he started feeling a little uneasy about coming back here, wondering what he would find along the way. 

"**_WELCOME TO SUNNYDALE_**!" The white letters stared mockingly back at him. "Well, mate, it's now or never. Might as well at least go and try to find her…"

Spike drove through the town of Sunnydale, noting that the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. The small downtown area looked almost exactly the way he'd left it, except that many of the buildings were showing the wear of 5 years of weather and use. He continued to drive, past the cemetery, wondering what happened to his old crypt. As he watched the sun sink to a nice, non-fatal level he parked his car in the exact spot where the old Desoto used to sit. Using the advantage of the daylight still left but knowing he was safe from any direct sunlight, Spike stepped from his car and let the California air warm his face.

"_Feels like a nice afternoon for a stroll_" he thought to himself, and started walking down the sidewalk.  He seemed to go on autopilot after that, heading straight for her neighborhood. The more he walked he started to doubt himself, and delved deep into thought as he stalked down the street.

*It's been 5 years, mate. She's probably moved on. Found herself a nice, normal bloke and moved into a big white house with a cute little picket fence. Why would she still be hanging around here, other than the fact that she's still the slayer? She is still the slayer, right? I mean unless that Faith bird kicked it and someone else was called to take over.*

He slowed his pace a little, trying to settle his thoughts and gain some more of his confidence back. He started remembering happier times with Buffy, before she'd ended things for good and he'd left because the pain had been too much. He wondered if she ever thought of him. He wondered what he'd find once he made it to her house.

*Well, it's the only shot I've got. I'll just go there, see if she still lives there. If she's not there, then I'll just go on about my way and chalk it up to bad luck. Oh, but if she is there…* He turned his eyes up toward the clouds and said out loud "Please, if anyone up there is listening, please at least let her hear me out, if I find her."  The voice in his head picked up again. *Yeah, right. Why would she give you a chance? You did just what she thought you would. When the going got rough, you left, just like all the rest. You sodding, bloody, wanker…*

His self-belittling thoughts were snapped back to the present when he heard soft cries coming from just ahead. He stopped on the sidewalk and looked curiously at the site before him. A little girl was sitting in the grass beside the sidewalk with her little legs stretched out in front of her. When the strange man in black stopped in front of her, she turned her teary eyes up to look at him. She didn't say anything, she just sat there, hiccupping with her sobs and letting new tears fall from her eyes. Her mommy had taught her to never talk to strangers, but this man was just giving off vibes that he wouldn't hurt her.

In his entire existence, Spike had never seen a more beautiful child. Her skin was flawless, and was a perfectly sun kissed golden color *probably from playing outside all the time* he vaguely thought. Her ash-blonde hair fell to her shoulders in soft little curls, perfectly framing her tiny face. Even at her young age, she had these little cheekbones that gave definition to her face. Her green eyes sparkled back at him, shining even more brilliantly through her tears.  She turned her head, and then he noticed that she had a tiny cut over her left eye, and a very small stream of blood was trickling down the side of her face, mingling with her tears and turning from crimson red to a watered down pink color. She then drew her knees up to her chest, and Spike noted that both knees were skinned. He didn't want to frighten her, but he felt something tugging at his heart, making him want to help this beautiful little angel of a child sitting before him.

He sat down in front of her on the sidewalk, so he could be eye-to-eye to talk to her. "Are you ok, love?"

She once again turned her teary gaze to him, and shook her head "no".

"Do you need help? Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

She studied him for a moment, trying to decide if her mommy would be angry with her for talking to this man.

On queue, as if he were reading her mind, Spike said softly "I bet your Mum told you never to talk to strangers, right?" She shook her head yes. "Well, then, let me fix that problem. I'm William. Now you know my name, so I'm not that much of a stranger, ok?" Again she shook her head yes. "Right then. So why don't you tell me what's the matter, and I'll see if I can help you."

Big tears welled in her eyes as she prepared to tell her story. As she started speaking, Spike was enraptured at the sound of her little voice. If he thought she looked like an angel, he thought she surely was an angel when her precious little voice started telling her story.

"Well, I was playing at my friend Chloe's house, when she said her Mommy thought that my Mommy was weird. And that made me mad, so I told her that I didn't want to be friends anymore, and I ran out of her house to go home, even though my Mommy told me never to walk home by myself."

"Oh, that's terrible, pet. But that doesn't explain how you got these scrapes, dear. Want to tell me what happened there?"

She hiccupped again with a small sob, and continued. "That meanie Alex saw me and said he was gonna go tell my Mommy that I was out by myself, and I told him not to, but he said he was gonna go tell anyway, so I bit him."

"You BIT him?"

"Y-yes. And then he started to cry and I ran away and he chased me. But then he caught up to me and tripped me, and I fell down on the sidewalk, and I hurt my knees and hit my head." She was crying in full force again. Spike tentatively reached out and touched her hand, trying to soothe her cries. 

"So what did this meanie Alex do then?"

"He was still crying 'cause I bit him, and he ran into his house and left me here. And my knees hurt and I couldn't walk home and my Mommy's gonna be so mad at me and she probably won't let me have my party next week and…"

"Hold up, love." He smiled at her. "Let's see what we can figure out. You know, don't you, that you shouldn't bite people. It's not a very nice thing to do."

"I know. My mommy tells me that all the time. 'It's not nice to bite people sweetie. We don't hit or bite people, because we could hurt them'… she always tells me that whenever I hit Alex or bite him." She smirked. Spike could have sworn this little angel *smirked* at him.

"Well, I have to say I agree with your Mommy. Are you feeling a little better than before?"

"A little."

"Well, that's good, pet."

Again the little girl smiled at him. "I know your name now, but you don't know mine."

"That's ok pet, you don't have to tell me your name."

"No, I want to. My name's Maggie" Spike's unnecessary breath caught in his chest. That's who this little angel reminded him of: his little sister Margaret. He had always called her Maggie, and his mum had always hated it. Her little voice once again snapped him out of his thoughts.  
  


"Will-yum? Will you take me home?"

"Uh, pet…Maggie, I would love to, but I don't know where you live."

"I know my address. Mommy taught it to me. I live at 1630 Revello Drive. Can you take me there?"

"I think I can manage that, Maggie." Spike's heart sank a little, knowing now that the love of his life had indeed moved on without him. He had no idea how he would find her now; now that there was a happy family with a precious little girl living in her old house. He scooped her up in his arms and started to carry her toward her house.

"How do you know which way to go?" She asked him when he instinctively headed toward her house.

"Oh. Well, you see, I used to have a very dear friend who lived in this neighborhood. In fact, that's why I'm here in the first place. Was just coming round to see if she still lived here… was going to maybe pay her a visit. In fact, her address was the same as yours. So your Mommy and Daddy must have moved in there once she moved out."

"Hmmm. Maybe!" she cooed. "But it's just me and Mommy. My Daddy doesn't live with us. I've never seen him, 'cause he had to go away to work. He's a hero, you know. Mommy always tells me how much she loves him and that he will come back someday. Hey! Maybe he'll come for my party… " She got a far-away look in her eyes, far more broody than any child should know how to be.

Spike wanted to cheer her up. "So, Maggie, tell me about this party that you're worried about your Mommy taking away."

Her eyes lit up again. "Oh, oh, oh! It's my birthday; I'll be five. And I'm having a big party, and all my friends are coming, except for now I'm gonna un-invite Chloe 'cause she's just as bad as that meanie Alex. But Mommy is making me let Alex come because she is friends with his parents. He's a yucky, yucky boy." She made a face and Spike chuckled at her impression of the young Alex, thinking 'in 10 years she'll probably have fallen head over heels for the git.' She continued her story as they walked toward Revello Drive, telling him about all the games they would play at her party, and what kind of cake she wanted, and how much she hoped her mommy wouldn't take the party away. 

Spike noticed that her story seemed to be fading away, and he gazed down at her only to see that little Maggie had fallen asleep in his arms.

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Meanwhile, about five blocks away, a young mother was on her phone, frantically pacing the floor. "What do you mean, she just left? How could you let a 5 year old just LEAVE your house by herself?"

"Honestly," Chloe's mom replied " She ran out while I was getting the laundry. I thought the girls were playing in Chloe's room until I went to check on them, and then Chloe told me that they'd had a fight and Maggie had left."

"Well, we have to find her!"

"We will, you stay there, I'm sending Chloe's dad out to look for her now. Keep your phone line free and he'll take his cell and we'll find her. Don't worry."

Maggie's mom called Chloe's mom back to see if they had spotted Maggie yet. As she was again becoming frantic on the phone, she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Wait. Someone's at the door. I think she's home. I'll call you right back." She went to the door, still holding the cordless phone in her hand.

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Spike made his way up the sidewalk with the sleeping child in his arms. The cut over her eye was still oozing a bit, and her tears had not yet dried. She still managed to look so peaceful in her sleep, and he wondered how she had managed to fall asleep so quickly. He walked up onto the porch, wondering how he was going to explain to this little girl's mother how he'd found her and why he'd brought her home.

He shifted the little girl in his arms to free up a hand to ring the doorbell, and watched as the small child curled up even more in his arms. He rang the doorbell and waited patiently. 

Suddenly, the door burst open, and the frantic Mom called out before even looking to see who was there. "Maggie??" Then she took in the sight before her. A tall, blonde man dressed in black stood holding her daughter, and there was a small trickle of red on the side of her face and on her little knees.

Spike's eyes flew wide when he looked at the woman standing in her doorway. "What the…." He was starting to say, when Maggie woke up and looked over to see that she was home. 

A huge grin broke over her face, and she proclaimed "Mommy! Will-yum brought me home. Please don't me mad at me, please, please, please."

"Yeah, Mommy, please don't be mad at her. She was hurt and I was only trying to help her." Spike said as a smirk started forming on his face.

Buffy dropped the phone she was holding and fainted.

(TBC)


	2. The Count

Notes: Wow! Thanks for all of the feedback! I'm glad that so many of you like this little story of mine. Keep reading and reviewing… I'll try to have chapter 3 out soon. Enjoy!

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"Mommy!" Maggie shrieked, as she saw Buffy faint and hit the floor in the foyer. Spike panicked, not knowing if he could go into the house to help her, or if he'd been uninvited again after he left 5 years ago. He gently put Maggie down.

"Pet, you go sit on the steps, and let me see if I can help your Mum. I'll be right back." Maggie gave him a hard look, but then wandered across the porch to sit on the steps. Spike decided it was now or never. He reached out his hand, and let out a sigh of relief when his hand did not meet an invisible barrier at the threshold. He rushed in, and immediately fell to the floor beside Buffy, gently gathering her into his arms.

"Buffy, love, wake up. Please, wake up." Her eyes began to flutter. "That's it pet, wake up." He looked out onto the porch, and called for Maggie. "Maggie, come here, pet. Your Mum's waking up."

Maggie ran over to where Spike and Buffy were sitting, and touched her mom's face gently. "Mommy, what happened? You fell down like me!"

"Maggie?" Buffy's eyes opened, and she looked at her little girl's face. "Maggie what happened to you?!" She pulled away from Spike, and shrieked at him "What did you do to my little girl?!"

Maggie started to cry _again._ Spike never knew a child could start and stop crying so quickly. Buffy gathered her daughter in her arms and began rocking her back and forth. "Sweetie, don't cry. Come on, calm down, try not to cry."

The little girl placed her hands on either side of Buffy's face, and looked at her. "Are you mad at me Mommy? Please don't be mad. I know I'm not 'sposed to walk home with out you and I know I'm not 'sposed to talk to strangers but I fell down Mommy, and I was hurt and he helped me and please don't take my party away 'cause what if Daddy's coming to it?"

Buffy's heart skipped a beat. She looked back at Maggie and brushed her tears from her face. "No, sweetie, I'm not going to take your party away. And I'm not mad at you, but you scared me. I didn't know where you were. Never, ever again go anywhere without telling a grown up where you're going, Ok?"

"Ok, Mommy. You aren't mad at me for letting Will-yum bring me home?" Buffy contemplated Spike, how he was just calmly standing there, taking in the sight of a Mother and Daughter, reunited.

"No, sweetie, I'm just glad he was there to help you." She grinned to herself at how Maggie pronounced Spikes real name. Buffy looked up at Spike and he hoped that she just might give him that chance to explain that he was hoping for. 

"You know what Mommy? Will-yum said he used to have a friend that lived in our house. And he was coming to see her, but she doesn't live here anymore, 'cause we live here now."

"Is that so?" Buffy asked her daughter. "Well, why don't we go into the kitchen and fix up your cuts and scrapes and William can tell us about his friend. Maybe we can help him find her."

Buffy and Maggie started down the hall to the kitchen while Spike just stood in the doorway, amazed at how calmly Buffy was reacting to his return. He was sure he'd catch hell later, though, once Maggie was out of sight. Maggie turned around and noticed that Spike was not following them. She ran back and grabbed his hand, and tugged him down the hallway with her. "Come on Will-yum! You can tell me a story while Mommy fixes my cuts!"

Once in the kitchen, Spike lifted the little girl up to sit on the counter, while Buffy retrieved her first aid kit from the drawer. She got out the antiseptic, and Maggie winced and drew in a sharp breath before Buffy even got the bottle open. Buffy smiled at her, "Sweetie, I haven't even opened it up yet, so it can't hurt already." Maggie opened one eye and looked at her mother warily.  Buffy turned to Spike "Um, William, why don't you talk to her, and maybe it will take her mind off of getting her cuts cleaned."

"Ok." Spike was suddenly at a loss on what to say to the child. I mean, he couldn't just start telling her stories of his past like he used to tell Dawn…too much blood and guts for the bitty-Buffy sitting in front of him was definitely not the way to win Buffy over. Luckily, Maggie saved him,

"Will-yum, you talk funny. Why do you sound like that?"

"Well, love, I'm from a place called England. Do you know where that is?"

"Uh-huh! It's where Giles lives! Giles is funny. He wears these glasses, and he's always taking them off and cleaning them. Mommy says he's always done that!  He says there are real princesses that live in England. Is it true, are there really princesses there?"

"There sure are. There's even a Queen and castles and palaces. Quite the fairytale land, it is."

Maggie was so enraptured with Spike that she hadn't even noticed that Buffy was finished cleaning her knees and had already put band-aids on them. She did notice, however, when Buffy touched the peroxide-soaked cotton to the cut over her eye. Maggie screamed immediately. Spike, without even thinking, took her little face in his hands and started to blow gently on her cut to soothe the sting. Buffy just watched in amazement at how tender Spike was being to her daughter.

Maggie closed her eyes and giggled, "How come your breath is cold? It tickles." 

"Just a little trick I learned once" Spike replied as he gazed at the child.

"So…" Buffy interrupted the tender scene, "Do you want to tell me how this happened, Maggie?" She gently placed a small band-aid on her daughter's head and placed a kiss on the bandage.

"Will-yum knows. He can tell you." Maggie was clearly trying to avoid telling her mother that she'd bitten little Alex Harris, causing him to push her down on the sidewalk.

"No, I think I want to hear it from you. I promise I won't be mad at you, just tell me how this happened."

Maggie began her tale again, about how she'd gotten mad at Chloe and left, and then ran into Alex on the way home. "…And he was so mean to me, Mommy, and he said he was gonna tell you and Auntie Anya that I was out and get me in trouble, and so I -bit –him-and-he-chased-me-and-pushed-me-down-and-that's-how-I-got-hurt." She rushed out the last part, hoping Buffy had missed the biting part.

Buffy had not missed the biting part. Spike was intrigued by the "Auntie Anya" part. *_I guess the Whelp and the Vengeance Demon worked things out after I left…* _Spike thought.

"You BIT Alex? Margaret Anne Sinclair how many times have I told you that you are NOT to bite people? No matter how angry you are or how much you think it will fix things??"

"I know Mommy, but he's such a meanie, and he wouldn't leave me alone. I hate him sometimes! I would hate him all the time if you didn't like Auntie Anya and Uncle Xander!"

"Margaret…" Buffy warned. Maggie knew she'd gone to far- her Mom had used her real name twice already.

"I'm sorry Mommy. I will try very hard to never bite Alex again. But I won't try to like him any better. He's just a mean old  yucky boy and I'll never like him, never, never, never!"

"That's it Margaret Anne. Go to your room while I start dinner. And no TV while you're there. You can play with your coloring books but no TV. Now go."

She hopped down from the counter and ran to the doorway. She looked up the stairs, and saw that the upstairs hallway was totally dark. She turned her slightly frightened gaze back to Buffy. "Mommy…it's dark up there."

Buffy sighed, remembering that the lights weren't on upstairs yet. "Ok, I'll walk you up. Come on."

"Can Will-yum take me?" she said hopefully, knowing that she could probably con him into turning on her TV.

"Fine. He can walk you upstairs. But then I want him to come back. I need to talk to him about this friend of his that used to live here." Maggie grinned and grabbed Spike's hand, tugging him out toward the stairs.

Buffy called after them. "Sp-William…" He turned to face her. "She's afraid of the dark, so turn on the light as soon as you get upstairs. And no matter what she says to you, _do not_ turn on her TV."

"Sure thing, love. Be right back."

Maggie led Spike up the stairs, gripping his hand tighter as they ventured into the darkness. She stopped when they almost reached the top of the stairs, now fully cloaked in the darkness of the hallway. Spike reached down and picked her up. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, until he reached over and switched the light on.

"Which room is yours, love?" Spike inquired of the child. She pointed toward the door that used to be Buffy's old room. Spike took her to the room, and smiled to himself when he took in the décor of the room. The walls were painted purple, with a lavender border around the wall, about waist high, and the sesame street numbers and letters stenciled in the border. In one corner of the room sat stuffed toys of each and every Sesame Street character, except for one, which resided on her bed. On the bed was the missing character; The Count. In fact, there were several versions of the count scattered about the room. The biggest one sat in the middle of the bed, smiling back with his fangs and cape billowing. Another, smaller stuffed toy Count lay on the floor beside her dresser, and looked as if she had carried him everywhere with her. All of the pictures on her walls were of the Count. He smiled at the irony of it all. She apparently loved The Count, yet had no idea that she had a real live vampire in her room.

He put Maggie down and she ran over to a little table and pulled out some coloring books. "Will-yum, do you like The Count?"

"Well, pet, he seems nice enough. I'll bet you like him a lot, huh?"

"Yeah, he's my favorite. He's all fangy and 'grr'" Spike chuckled at her use of Buffy's old phrase. "Will you watch him with me on TV?"

"Now, love, your Mommy told me specifically not to turn on your TV. Seems that's your punishment for biting young Alex."

"Yeah, I know." She whispered in defeat.

"I'll tell you what. I need to back downstairs and chat with your Mum. So why don't you sit here and color a nice picture of our friend the Count and I'll see if I can talk her into letting you watch some TV before you go to bed tonight. Does that sound like a good deal?"

Maggie grinned and said "Ok!"

"Right then. You stay here and be good then, and your Mum will be up in a little bit when your dinner's ready."

Spike walked back down stairs and found Buffy humming and making dinner. She sensed when he walked in the door, and turned around to smile at him.

"Did she get settled in her room?"

"She did. We chatted about The Count, and she explained to me how he was all 'fangy and grrr'. She's coloring a picture of him as we speak." 

"Did she try to con you into letting her watch TV?"

"Of course. But I told her no, just like you instructed. But I sort of promised her that I'd ask you if she could watch a little while before her bedtime."

"Well, we will just have to see about that. Spike, I really want us to sit down and have a nice, long chat. Why don't you stay for dinner with Maggie and me and then you and I can talk after she's asleep?"

"Ok, Buffy. I think I can handle that. There's so much I need to tell you." He seemed lost in thought again before continuing, "Ah, Buffy, you're being a lot more rational about me showing up out of the blue than I had expected."

"Spike, don't start. We can both behave like adults here. And after Maggie's asleep, we'll sit down and talk. But for now, why don't you tell me how you managed to find my wayward child this afternoon."

Spike smiled and sat down at the counter to talk to Buffy, much like he had done before with Joyce. "Well, love, I was coming to town to see if I could find you, and while I was walking through your neighborhood I saw this little angel of a child crying by the sidewalk. I stopped to see if I could help her, and we became instant friends. And she wasn't quite feeling up to walking, so I brought her home and now… here we are."

"But how did you know she was my child?"

"Um, I didn't Buffy. I didn't know to which home she belonged until she spouted out her address for me. In fact, I was more than a little sad when she told me where she lived, because I thought that you had moved on." He looked away from her, trying to hide the emotion in his eyes.

Buffy watched him intently as he described his encounter with Maggie. He sounded like he was genuinely concerned for the child, even before he knew whose child she was. Buffy wanted to tell him the truth right away, but was afraid of his initial reaction. She knew he wouldn't believe her at first, but once she proved what she had to tell him, she didn't know if he'd be happy or sad or angry, or indifferent. She decided to just plunge in and tell him.

"Spike, was there nothing that seemed the least bit familiar about her before you knew she was mine?"

"Actually, yes. I mean, there was something familiar about her when I first saw her, but then when she told me her name, it hit me. I never told you this, Buffy, but I had a little sister named Margaret. She reminded me so much of my sister, their resemblance is uncanny. I've never seen another child that was as beautiful as she was until I met your little Maggie today."

"You met OUR little Maggie today, Spike."

"Pardon me, love?" Spike sputtered out, thinking he misunderstood Buffy's statement.

"Spike…Maggie is your daughter. Yours and mine."

(TBC)  


	3. Denial...not just a river...

Notes: Thanks again for all the feedback…please keep it coming. Someone asked in a review how, in chapter 1, Spike found Maggie in the afternoon? It was late afternoon…you know like when the sun's gone but it's still sort of daylight? That's how he found her then (remember how I said he noticed that he "watched the sun sink to a nice, non-fatal level" before deciding to walk to Buffy's?" I just thought I should clear that up, b/c I figured if someone asked, then there were probably others out there wondering too :)  Sorry this chapter took so long to get out, but a 20 page midterm sort of got in the way…Here we go to chapter 3….

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"Spike…Maggie is your daughter. Yours and mine."

Spike sat there at Buffy's kitchen counter and just stared at her, slack-jawed, with a sheer look of disbelief. *_"well, that's ok" Buffy thought "I knew that he wouldn't believe me at first. But, really? Can't I have some sort of reaction?" *_

Buffy reached across the counter, and touched Spike's hand. "Spike?? Are you ok?"

He blinked his eyes a couple of times and took a deep, although completely unnecessary breath. "Buffy, you know that's impossible. Vampires can't…"

"Well, you can.  And you did. I promise you I'm telling the truth Spike."

"Right Buffy. I've been gone for five years. So was this some sort of immaculate conception on my part? Did my thoughts from across the world create her?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Spike, do the math. You left Sunnydale in April. Maggie was born in August. Now, call me crazy, but the last time I checked a pregnancy lasted a little longer than five months. And trust me, I know. I went through it."

"Well, pet, that still doesn't tell me anything. Other than the fact that I must not have been the only one you turned to for comfort back then."

Buffy walked around the counter and stood right in front of Spike. "Spike, please stop. I will not have you ruin what precious few memories I have of that time by accusing me of cheating on you. Spike, I'm telling you the truth, and if you would calm down long enough to listen and try to believe me, I can show you I'm telling the truth."

"There is absolutely NO WAY this is the truth Buffy. As much as I would like to believe it, I know that it can't happen. It never happened in almost 125 years, why would it suddenly happen now? And besides, that precious child upstairs told me all about her father while I was bringing her home, Buffy. So, aside from the fact that I KNOW it couldn't be me, the fact that that little girl practically described Captain Cardboard to a tee confirms for me that I AM NOT HER FATHER!"

"Shhh! Will you keep your voice down? She will hear you and I DO NOT want her to hear this fight. Spike, if she heard you denying that you're her father it would break her heart. And for the record, I resent the fact that you think I slept with Riley Finn while he was here that time. He's married, for goodness sake. And still, do the math. It's impossible."

"Not as impossible as ME getting you pregnant."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "And besides, what on earth did she say to make you think Riley is her father?"

"Plenty. She told me that he didn't live with the two of you, because he had to leave for "work". And she went on and on about what a great guy he was, how he was some kind of hero. Oh, and the kicker was when she told me how much her Mommy loved her Daddy, and how she would talk about him all the time. Now, pet, I know that you of all people would not use any of the above phrases to describe me."

"You know, Spike, I think I've dreamed about the day you would come home even more than Maggie has. I always wondered how you would react, but I never, ever thought you'd be this stubborn. I knew that you'd probably not believe me at first, but I at least thought you'd give me the chance to explain and show you what we found, and then I had all these high hopes that you'd tell me you'd stay, and I could finally have my whole family together." Buffy's eyes clouded over with tears, as she turned to walk away from him.

Spike saw the tears forming in her eyes. He could only remember a couple of times when Buffy had let herself be so vulnerable that she'd let him see her cry. Then it hit him. He'd come here, hoping for a chance to explain to her why he left all those years ago, and where he'd been, yet he wasn't even giving her the same chance. And, she wasn't even demanding an explanation from him, she just wanted him to trust her. He reached out and caught her hand, turning her back to face him. 

The phone rang, startling Buffy. She pulled away from Spike's grasp to answer.

"Hello? Oh, hi Anya. Yes, she's home. I'm sorry I didn't call you and Jane to tell you, I just got so caught up in taking care of her and getting her settled down. How's Alex? Anya, I am so sorry…are you sure he's ok? Yeah, well Margaret has some serious apologizing to do tomorrow to everyone she hurt in this little fiasco." Buffy's call waiting beeped. "Anya, that's my other line. I'll call you in the morning, ok?"

Spike figured Buffy was engrossed in her phone calls, so he took the opportunity to slip out of the kitchen and upstairs. Buffy answered the other line, and turned around to find Spike missing.

"Hello?? Buffy, are you there?" Dawn's voice crackled through the phone.

"Huh? Oh yeah, Dawnie, I'm here. Sorry was just a little distracted."

"I'll say. You sound so lost in thought that if I didn't know better I'd think either Spike was back and sitting in your kitchen or that Riley showed up with yet another super-hero wanna-be wife."

"Uh-huh," was all that Buffy could think of to say.  
  


"Oh, Buff, I'm sorry. I know that was a low blow. Listen, I just called to tell you that I'm running a little late from my lit class tonight, and I didn't want Maggie to think I'd forgotten our weekly storytime. I should be there in about 30 minutes, though."

"Right Dawn. Oh my gosh, I'd even forgotten that you were coming over tonight. You wouldn't believe the evening I've had. Maggie ran away from Chloe's this afternoon. Just be careful coming over and I'll explain everything when you get here."

"Buffy, is something else wrong?"

"Let's just say you weren't too far off earlier. I'll see you soon Dawn. Bye." 

Buffy hung up before Dawn could respond, but her mind was reeling nonetheless. Knowing that the chanced of Riley being back again were slimmer than the chance that Spike had come home, Dawn made up her mind to get to her sister's house as quickly as humanly possible.

+ + + + + + + + 

Upstairs in the hallway, Spike stood beside the doorway to Maggie's room. She had several coloring books scattered out around her, and she had retrieved the little Count doll from the place on the floor where she'd left it earlier that day. Spike gazed at her as she flitted around her room, playing and singing some song that he assumed was from Sesame Street. He tried to stand at the very edge of the door frame, so that he could see her without her seeing him. He kept playing Buffy's words over and over in his head. _*Maggie is your daughter, Spike * _Then, he remembered Buffy calling Maggie by her whole name after finding out she'd bitten little Alex Harris. Margaret Anne Sinclair. What kind of game was Buffy playing, calling the child by *****his * last name? Surely she wouldn't go so far with this joke that she would confuse the child. Spike's mind was still reeling as he stared at Maggie in wonderment. She did remind him of his own sister. He had felt some inexplicable pull toward her, even before he knew who she was. She had his cheekbones, and Buffy's eyes. Spike knew that he still needed the whole story, but the more he stood there and watched her play, the more he wanted to believe that she was his. He'd never even imagined that he'd have a family, other than the messed up, dysfunctional version of a family he'd had with Angel, Darla, and Dru.

Buffy walked slowly up the stairs, not wanting to disturb Spike. He looked like he was  deep in thought as he stood in Maggie's doorway watching her. Spike felt her presence, though, and turned toward her, motioning her forward. He was so filled with emotion at that moment that he could barely speak around the uncharacteristic lump that had formed in his throat. 

"She's really mine?" He managed to whisper to Buffy when  she reached his side.

Buffy reached out and took his hand in hers. "Yes, she's really yours. Spike you have to know that I would not lie to you. Not about this."

"But, how? I mean, I have it on very good authority that vampires are not…um, set up to have babies."

"I'll explain it all to you after dinner… that is, if you'll still stay. Dawn's on her way over to spend some time with Maggie, so we can talk while Maggie plays with Dawn. Ok?"

"Ok. Buffy. Nibblet is coming over? Gosh, I can't even imagine how much she's grown up in 5 years…" he trailed off.

The two started back down the stairs to check on dinner before retrieving Maggie from her room. Just as they reached the kitchen, the front door swung open, and Dawn breezed in, calling for Maggie.

Maggie rushed down the stairs, and jumped into Dawn's arms. "Auntie Dawn! You're late," she said, matter-of-factly.

"I know sweetie, I had to stay at my school a little longer tonight. How was your day? I hear you ran away?"

"Yeah, I did. I also bit Alex. That's how I ended up with this cut on my head." Dawn tried to hide a giggle as she listened to Maggie describe her afternoon as if it were a normal everyday occurrence. Maggie frowned, then smiled again when she remembered the rest of her story. "But I made a new friend!"

"You did?" Dawn asked as she put Maggie down. 

"Yes, he helped me when I fell and he brought me home. I think he's still in the kitchen with Mommy. You have to meet him." Maggie took Dawn's hand and dragged her into the kitchen much like she'd done with Spike earlier.

"Mommy?" she called loudly down the hall. "Is Will-yum still here? I want him to meet Auntie Dawn!"

Just as they reached the kitchen, Dawn realized that Maggie had just said her new "friends" name was William at the same time that she saw a familiar blonde head turn toward the door way.

"Will-yum… this is my Auntie Dawn! Auntie Dawn, this is Will-yum. He has a friend who used to live in our house, and he likes the Count, just like me!" she beamed.

Spike grinned. "Hello Lil'Bit"

Dawn couldn't speak. She just stood there, holding Maggie's hand, staring at Spike, and feeling very much like she might faint.

TBC….

More notes: Ok y'all, sorry to leave it hanging there, but this chapter was starting to ramble on a bit too much. Chapter 4 is going to be a bit of a flashback chapter, where Buffy recounts her memories to Spike and explains to him the mystery that is how Maggie came to be :) I'm writing it as fast as my fingers can type, and hopefully I'll have it up much sooner than this one came out…. Thanks for being patient and sending such nice reviews!


	4. Little Bits

Dawn stood in the kitchen, in complete awe. She had words forming in her head, but she couldn't get her mouth to work to say them. Maggie had caught on to the nickname that Spike called Dawn.  
  
"Hey- you called Auntie Dawn Lil'Bit. Sometimes she calls me that." Maggie told Spike.  
  
He smiled at the child. "Does she now?"  
  
Buffy decided to intervene, before Dawn said something stupid to reveal more about Spike than Maggie knew. "Dawn, I just remembered something I need to show you in the living room…could you come with me please?"  
  
Dawn followed Buffy, still staring at Spike the whole time. Maggie, thankfully, stayed in the kitchen with no protests, to talk to Spike more about England and the princesses that lived there. Once they reached the living room, Dawn's mouth started working again.  
  
"Buffy! Why didn't you tell me he was back earlier?" She hissed at her older sister. "I mean, when did he get here? How long is he staying? Where has he been? Does he know about Maggie? Does Maggie know about him?"  
  
"Slow down, Dawn. He had only been here about an hour when you called. We haven't really had the chance yet to talk about where he's been or why he's back. But…" Buffy continued tentatively "I did tell him about Maggie."  
  
"You did? What did he say?"  
  
"Well, as you would expect, he didn't believe me. Well, he didn't believe me at first. But I think he's starting to. When I got off the phone with you, I found him in the hallway upstairs watching her play. I swear to you Dawn, he was just about to cry. I promised him that after dinner I would explain everything to him. But, Maggie doesn't know anything yet, except that he's a really nice person who helped her get home this afternoon."  
  
"Wow. Buffy. I can't believe you are being this calm about him coming back. Part of me is really glad to see him, and the other part of me want to smack him and ask him why he left like he did."  
  
"I'm right there with you little sis." Buffy gave her sister a half-smile. "Oh, that does remind me, though, will you go upstairs to your room and get the book? I'll need it when I talk to him after dinner."  
  
"Sure Buffy, I'll be right back."  
  
Buffy walked quietly back into the kitchen. Maggie and Spike were sitting, facing each other on the bar stools at the kitchen counter. She was firing question after question at him, just like an inquisitive child would be expected to. Spike looked up to see Buffy standing there, but she motioned for him to stay where he was, she didn't want to interrupt the Spanish Inquisition between father and daughter. Spike just smirked at her, and listened intently to Maggie's questions and observations.  
  
For a few moments, Buffy just stood in the doorway, looking at Spike. *He hasn't changed a bit.* He looked exactly as she remembered, with his strong muscular frame, bleach blonde hair, and trademark black apparel. He was still the beautiful vampire (man?) she'd secretly fallen for all those years ago. Buffy was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice Spike staring at her in much the same way that she was staring at him.  
  
He was trying his best to listen to Maggie, and answer her questions when she presented them. But mostly, he was looking over her little head at Buffy. * She's even more beautiful now, if that's even possible* he thought to himself, while letting a smile creep to his lips. He gazed at her, noting how she had aged over the last five years. Well, not exactly aged, he noted, just grown up. She still had the same petite frame, the same tiny features, the same blonde hair. But something in her eyes told him that she'd done a lot of growing up in his absence, and he figured that the small child sitting before him was the main cause for the changes he could see in Buffy.  
  
Just as their eyes locked on each other, Dawn bounded through the doorway and interrupted the moment. "Here Buff- I found the book you needed from my room. What's for dinner?" Dawn asked as she slipped past Buffy and placed a thick leather bound book on the counter.  
  
Spike and Buffy both snapped out of their gaze, and Buffy moved to get place settings for dinner from the cabinet. "Um, tonight's Italian, Dawn… spaghetti and salad- it's all I really had time for considering our little "incident" this afternoon" Buffy said while looking pointedly at her daughter.  
  
"Well, it sounds great. I'm starving. I didn't think we'd ever get out of Lit class tonight." Dawn said as she moved to the dining room with Maggie.  
  
Spike stopped Buffy before she followed them. "Pet, I think that I should leave for a little while- give you time to enjoy your dinner with your family."  
  
"What? No! Spike you promised you'd stay and we could talk. Where are you going?"  
  
"Calm down, Love, I'll come back in a little while… if you want me to, that is. I just…need to find a place to stay. I was planning on doing that shortly after I got into town today, but then the Bite-Size in there sort of altered my plans."  
  
"Well- you could stay here, in Dawn's old room…." Buffy started.  
  
"No Buffy. I don't think that's a great idea. Not right now anyway. I mean, how would you explain that to Maggie?"  
  
"I guess you're right. But you'll come back after dinner? I really want us to talk tonight Spike. There's so much I need to tell you."  
  
"Of course, Love. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Kiss Nibblet and Bite- size goodnight for me, and tell them I'll see them soon."  
  
Buffy entered the dining room, and found questioning eyes from both girls seated there. "Mommy, where's Will-yum? I though he was gonna eat with us." Maggie inquired. Dawn just shot Buffy another questioning glare that mirrored Maggie's question.  
  
"Well, sweetie, he had an errand to run, but he's coming back a little later." This answer seemed to appease both Maggie and Dawn, and the three Summers girls shared a relatively normal dinner. Following dinner, Maggie went to her room to play while Dawn and Buffy cleaned up.  
  
"So, where did he have to go that was so important?" Dawn asked.  
  
"He went to find somewhere to stay. I told him he could stay here, but he didn't think that was such a hot idea. Didn't want to confuse Maggie and all…"  
  
"Yeah, well, Buffy, he's probably right. I mean, what are you going to tell her about him?"  
  
+ + + + + + + + + +  
  
A little while later, Dawn had left Revello drive to go back to her dorm, and Buffy was tucking Maggie into bed. She decided she had to tell her daughter something about Spike, even if it wasn't yet the whole truth.  
  
"Maggie, do you remember when William told you that he was coming here to find an old friend of his?"  
  
"Yes, Mommy, why?"  
  
"Well, William is actually one of Mommy's old friends. I am the person he was coming here to look for. We were friends before you were born, and then he went away for a while, and we lost touch."  
  
"Kind of like Daddy?"  
  
Buffy's heart skipped a few beats. "Yes, sweetie, kind of like Daddy. But William is coming back tonight, so that he and I can chat and catch up."  
  
Maggie's brow furrowed for a moment, then her eyes brightened and she smiled. "So, Mommy… if he was your friend, and now he's my new friend, can we keep him?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "We'll see. Now you go to sleep. Good night Little Bit."  
  
" Good. I like Will-yum. Night Mommy." Maggie said, as she clutched her "count" doll and drifted off to dreamland.  
  
+ + + + + + + + + +  
  
Spike's timing was perfect; he knocked on the front door just as Buffy descended the stairs. She opened the door, still a little awe-struck that he was really back.  
  
"You just missed bedtime, Spike. I think Maggie was a little sad that she didn't get to tell you good night, so I guess I'll just have to tell you for her." Buffy told him as they moved into the kitchen.  
  
Spike smiled. "So, she's already asleep, then?"  
  
"Yes. Well, hopefully. But I'll go up to check on her in a while… you can go with me if you want. I told her that you were coming back."  
  
"Ok." Spike replied. "So, Love, I guess we have some catching up to do?"  
  
Buffy reached for the book that Dawn brought her earlier. "You have no idea, Spike." She led him into the living room, and settled into a comfortable spot on the sofa, inviting Spike to sit with her. "Let's see…" she began, " I guess to get to the beginning, I should start in the middle."  
  
"Love, that doesn't really make a lot of sense."  
  
"Just stay with me. It will. I hope."  
  
(TBC) 


	5. Blue lines and plus signs

Notes: It's finally here… how Maggie came to be! This chapter (and possibly the next few chapters) will flashback and forth between season 6 and the year 2007 (which is when the story is taking place). I hope it won't be too confusing. Thanks to all of you fantastic readers who are reviewing. Your wonderful reviews are keeping me on target :)

+ + + + + + + + + + + 

Buffy took a deep breath, getting ready to tell Spike how Maggie had "happened".  "Ok, Spike. Here's how it happened. This may get a little confusing, but I'll do my best to explain."

"Ok, Buffy." He gave her a reassuring smile as she started to describe events that unfolded five years earlier.

"Alright then. We have to start in the middle, with me finding out I was pregnant, to get to the beginning, of how it happened- well, not exactly how it happened, because we both know *how *- but you know what I mean…"

Spike just smirked as Buffy rolled her eyes and started telling him the story.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + 

_*Sunnydale, April  2002 * _

Buffy walked out of the training room at the Magic Box, to find Willow and Xander sitting at the table, staring at a large pile of books.   
"Whatcha doing, guys? I don't remember there being anything around that we needed to go into research-mode over." 

Willow looked up at Buffy, and noticed that she looked a little pale. "There's not. That's just the thing, though. Doesn't it seem a little strange that we haven't seen anything resembling a Big Bad lately? I mean, we do still live on the Hellmouth, right?"

"Yeah, I never thought I'd say this, but life is a little boring without some nasties to research and hunt down. Guess my Big-Bad non wedding scared them all away." Xander laughed a little bitterly, and tried to change the subject that he really didn't mean to bring up. "Buff, are you ok? You're looking a little pale these days."

"Yeah, sure, I'm fine." Buffy said as she swayed a little, lost her balance and flopped rather ungracefully down on the nearest chair. "Or, maybe I feel just a little woozy. I probably just have one of those 24 hour bugs or something."

"Buff- I don't ever remember you being sick before. Don't Slayers have some sort of, like, super hero immune system or something that goes along with your super healing powers?" 

Buffy rolled her eyes at Xander. "I guess. But I'm sure it's nothing. Maybe I'm just a little tired from working so much lately, or maybe I just picked up some Doublemeat germs or something." They all laughed lightly at the mention of the DMP. 

"Well, Buffy, since there's not really anything to research or slay tonight, why don't you go home and get some rest? Xander and I can take Dawn out for pizza and an movie, and you can have the whole house to yourself. Maybe you'll feel better after a long bath and some extra sleep."

"You know Will, that actually does sound like an excellent idea. Are you guys sure that you didn't have other plans tonight? I hate to feel like I'm pushing Dawn duty off on you."

"We don't mind at all Buffy. You go, and get some rest"

With that, Buffy headed out the door and toward home. Once there, she filled the tub with warm water, adding in some of her favorite vanilla bubble bath, and grabbed her newest copy of  Cosmo from her room. As she settled into the water, she realized that reading in the bath was *not * going to work. She tossed the magazine to the floor and proceeded to enjoy her bath. Once out, she plucked the magazine from the floor and strolled to her room, deciding to read it while she was snuggled into her bed.

While flipping through the pages, she stopped on an article that for some odd reason caught her attention. The headline drew her in… "True story: Surprise pregnancies in the new millennium" She was reading it and was  totally engrossed in the women's stories, before she even realized it. Buffy read one girl's story and made a noise that sounded something like a cross between a snort and a laugh when she read the line "I didn't even realize I was pregnant until I was about 4 months along. I was always so active that it didn't even occur to me that I'd missed my cycle all those months." **_* _**_Ha * Buffy thought, *What kind of dummy doesn't realize when they've missed FOUR months in a row?* _ 

She suddenly felt very sick to her stomach, and left the book lying there while she ventured to the kitchen to find something to settle the queasiness she felt. When Buffy returned to her room with Saltines and Ginger Ale, he eyes fell back on the article she'd been reading. _…it didn't occur to me that I'd missed all those months…_ Buffy's eyes darted back and forth between the book, the calendar on her wall, and the glass of ginger ale in her hand, while trying to push away the waves of nausea she still felt.

"No." She said out loud to herself. "There's no way. Absolutely no way. Is there?" Looking at the clock, she knew she had at least two more hours before Dawn and Willow would be home. Buffy jumped up, grabbed on the first clothes she picked up, and headed out to the nearest drug store.

The next morning, she woke up before anyone else in the house, on purpose. She'd taken two tests the night before, but they'd both said that you get the most reliable results if you take the test first thing in the morning. So, first thing in the morning it was, and Buffy found herself sitting in her bathroom, staring at two more little white wands balanced precariously on the edge of the sink. One sported two little blue lines, one stared back at her with a pink plus sign; both gave her the same results as the two tests from the night before.

She heard someone stirring in the hallway, then a soft knock on the door. Willow's voice called through the door "Buffy? Are you ok? You're up awfully early…"

Buffy cracked the door open, and motioned for Willow to come in. "No, Will, I'm not really ok. And I'm not too sure how to tell you this…"

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

"Well, remember how you and Xander were bummed that there was nothing to research? I think I've found something. You see, for the past few months, Spike and I have been… well, together. And now…" Tears sprang to Buffy's eyes as she became light headed again.

"Buffy, you're scaring me. What's up, and why would we need to research anything about you and Spike, although I can't really say I'm shocked by this revelation."

Buffy motioned to the two little wands on the sink.

"Oh." Was all that Willow could manage to say.

"Yeah. Do that for about ten more hours and you'll be about where I am. Well, minus the being pregnant with a vampire's child and all."

"What are you going to do, Buffy?"

Buffy started to cry. Willow hugged her best friend, and led her back to her room. "Buffy, you know that you can tell me as much or as little about this as you need to. I promise that I won't judge you. I mean, I'm the last person who should be judging anyone these days."

Buffy calmed down, and told Willow the whole story. Everything from how she and Spike first got together, to how she'd recently broken up with him and told him that being with him was killing her. "But ,Will, I miss him. I need him, a part of me has always needed him I think. And this baby is a part of us. No option other than having this baby ever entered my mind."

"So, when are you going to tell him?"

"I- I don't think I can tell him. Willow, he won't believe me. I don't even know how this is possible. Vampires aren't supposed to be able to… will you help me find out how this could have happened? In the meantime I think I need to go to the doctor, and make sure everything is alright, and then once I've got more facts, I'll tell him."

"Sure, Buffy. What ever you need. You know I'll help however I can. Xander will too. He'll probably be a little wigged at first, but he'll just have to get over it."

"Thanks Willow. So I guess we should head over to the Magic Box and get started on reading some dusty old books, huh?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The girls and Xander plundered through the books all week, after Buffy broke the news to Dawn, who took it amazingly well. The four friends sat around the table, scouring every volume that Giles had left behind, looking for anything that could explain Buffy's "delicate" condition. Buffy had managed to get an appointment with her doctor, who confirmed what the four home tests had already told her. She was indeed pregnant. About four months along, she'd told Buffy, and the baby seemed to be in perfect condition. She even went ahead and did the first sonogram, producing the first official "picture" of Buffy's baby. The baby wasn't turned the right way in the first sonogram to tell the gender, but Dr. Birch had told Buffy that they would try again on her next visit. The picture from Buffy's sonogram was lying on the table one night as Spike came breezing through the back door of the Magic Box.

"Well, hello, lovelies." He said as he strolled toward the table, taking in the sight of Buffy, Willow, and Dawn all with their nose in a book. "What's going on that has you three up to your ears in research at this late hour?"

"Not much, just researching the latest weirdo occurrences in Sunny-D, that's all" Buffy said lightly as she stood up and faced him, trying to ever-so-slyly slide the sonogram picture off the table and into her pocket. "What brings you around to annoy us while we are busy doing actual work?"

"Well, you know, pet, I wasn't actually coming to annoy. I was walking by, and saw the lights on, and thought it was rather late for the Scoobies to be researching, so I thought I'd see if I could help. I see now that was a mistake." He started for the door.

"Spike, come back" Dawn called. "You probably can  help us." Buffy shot Dawn a warning glare.

"No, Lil'Bit. I think big sis has made it all too clear that I'm really not needed. So I'll just go." He turned when he reached the door. "Night 'Bit, Red…. Slayer."

Buffy cringed and looked away when he called her Slayer. She couldn't really remember him calling her that in the last few months. It had always been 'pet' or 'love' or even 'Buffy'. Not 'slayer', not recently. When she turned back around, he was gone.

"Buffy, you should have told him" Dawn instructed.

"I know" she replied, as tears formed in her eyes and fell down her cheek.

"Oh! Buffy look! I think I found something… this has to be it. I mean, it describes the two of you exactly."

Buffy turned her teary gaze to Willow. "What is it, Willow?"

"A prophecy… it seems that you've fulfilled yet another one of these cryptic prophesies. I think."

+ + + + + + + + + 

"Wait." Spike interrupted Buffy's story. "That night. The night I left. You knew then that you were pregnant with our baby?"

"Yes" Buffy whispered.

"Why didn't you tell me? Buffy, I never would have left if I had known."

"Well, I didn't exactly know that when you said 'I'll just go' you meant for good!"

"You still should have told me. I mean, I was right there, for crying out loud, and you couldn't even bother to say, 'Oh by the way, I'm carrying your child'?"

"Would you have believed me if I had just blurted it out like that?" Buffy glared at him.

"Well, probably not. But you still could have told me, and then worried about convincing me later."

Buffy could tell Spike was hurt that she hadn't told him that night. "Look, Spike, I'm sorry. Ok? Of all the really stupid things I've ever done, not telling you that night ranks as number one in my book. But you know now. And I have all this stuff to show you" she reached for the book on the coffee table. Just then, a shrill cry pierced the night and Buffy and Spike both jumped up at the sound coming from upstairs.

"Mommy!! Mommy! Monsters, hurry!!"

They both bolted up the stairs, immediately forgetting the impending argument they were about to have. They reached Maggie's room, and found her lying in her bed, kicked out from under the covers, and squinching her eyes tightly as she fought off monsters in her sleep. Buffy sat on the edge of her daughter's bed and gently gathered the child in her arms, while Spike watched from just inside the doorway. Maggie immediately clung to Buffy, still sleepy-eyed and crying.

"Shh, baby. Mommy's here. What happened? Did you have a bad dream?"

Maggie nodded. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I was lost, and couldn't find my way home, and there were big green monsters and ugly white ghosts everywhere, and they chased me, and said that they would take me away and that I'd never see you again."

"Well, it was just a bad dream, sweetie. I'm right here. And I'll never, ever let anything happen to you."

Maggie opened her eyes and looked at Buffy. "I know Mommy." She caught a glimpse of Spike's blonde head over Buffy's shoulder. "Will-yum! You came back!" Buffy turned and saw him standing there, and motioned for him to come into the room.

"I did, pet.  So what's this I hear about monsters sneaking into your sweet little dreams?"

"They were mean, and ugly." She told him.

He reached out and stroked her hair, trying to comfort her. "Well, I'll just have to see if I can't find those mean monsters, and have a little chat with them. Tell them I won't have them interrupting your dreams anymore."

"You can do that?"

"I'll certainly try." He assured her.

Buffy tucked Maggie back into her bed, and she and Spike both kissed her forehead and watched as she drifted effortlessly back into sleep, before sneaking quietly back into the hallway.

"So, love, about this prophecy…"

Buffy nodded and led Spike back downstairs to fill him in on the rest of the story.


	6. The Prophecy and Ms. Sinclair

Once they were back downstairs, Buffy picked up the leather book she'd been carrying around all night, and turned to a well-worn page. She handed the book to Spike, and told him to read the passage on that page.

"Well, that certainly sounds cryptic enough to have come from a watcher's diary."

"That's exactly where it came from. That's the prophecy that Willow found that night. I've never really been good at deciphering those things. I always just depended on Giles to do that and then give me the Buffy-verse version."

"Seeing how it's a little late even for me to de-code a cryptic watcher prophecy, why don't you give me the "Buffy-verse version?" Spike inquired.

"Basically, Willow and Giles said that it made references to the slayer in the new millennium, who would die twice and be loved by two vampires of the same family. Obviously that's me. It also said something about a true love, and how with my second death a part of that true love would die along with me." She noticed that Spike's eyes were starting to tear up, and she figured that he was remembering the night that she dove off the tower to defeat Glory. She reached out and took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together and Spike looked at her, a little amazed at this tender gesture. She continued.

"Apparently when they did the spell to bring me back, we were so linked that it "brought back" the part of you that died with me, and made you *whole * again, without totally restoring your humanity. Does that make sense? Some mystical force linked us together, then, and since we completed each other, we were able to have children together. I know this is all very confusing..."

Spike looked into her eyes, amazed at her interpretation of the words he'd just read. He knew she was telling the truth, but her version of what the prophecy meant had so much more love and emotion in it than he ever imagined any watcher would have read into their works. Suddenly, he said "It's called love, Buffy."

"What is?" She asked, a little confused.

"The mystical force, as you called it, that bound us together. It's love. I always tried to tell you that I loved you, Buffy."

"Yeah, I guess it is- er, was" she corrected, then frowned. He noted the frown and a questioning look appeared on his face. "You said loved- past tense. You don't still love me, do you Spike?"

"What? Of course I do Buffy! I could never, ever stop loving you." He reached out to embrace her, a little unsure if she'd let him. He sighed in relief when she did. "Don't you remember me telling you that you're in my blood, that I was drowning in you? I still am. I always will be. I never, ever stopped loving you Buffy Summers."

"Sinclair" she corrected.

He pulled back, and looked at her. "What?"

"My last name now. Is Sinclair."

"That was my last name." He stuttered, as realization hit him.

"I know." 

"Why? How?" 

She smiled at him, and leafed through the next few pages of the book. "Here. It's all in here, Spike. Everything you need to know about the last five years is in this book. Although I'd much rather tell you about it than just have you read it all."

Spike skimmed the pages, and saw copies of legal documents, most of which he didn't take the time to read, other than to notice that they were apparently used to change Buffy's name on all of her bank accounts, drivers license, deed to the house, and other important accounts. He looked at her, still confused, and said "Buffy, I don't really understand…"

"Ok." She smiled. "Time for more of the story, I suppose." 

+ + + + + + + + + + 

_late May, 2002_

Xander walked into the kitchen at Buffy's house, to find a very worried-looking Willow sitting at the counter, nursing a cup of lukewarm coffee. "She still not coming down?" he asked quietly.

"No, and Xander- I'm really, really starting to worry about her." Xander poured a cup of coffee and joined Willow while she continued, trying not to ramble. "She's been like this since she found out Spike left. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've tried everything. Telling her we'd find him someway, or that I was sure he was coming back, I've even tried telling her that what she's doing isn't healthy for the baby. But nothing works. She just stays up there, laying in her bed and crying. We're lucky if we can even get her to eat the food we take up to her. What are we going to do, Xander, what?"

"I don't know, Will. I just don't know."

"What don't you know, Xander?"

The two scoobies were shocked to hear Buffy's quiet voice from the doorway. "Uh, we were just talking about Anya. I just don't know how to get her to hear me out." Xander lied.

"Oh." Buffy replied. "Uh, I have an appointment with Dr. Birch today. Can one of you drive me? I just don't feel like going alone."

"Sure, Buffy!" Willow said, trying to sound cheery. "We don't really have any plans today so we can both go with you… maybe grab some lunch while we're out."

"Yeah, ok. Well, I'm going to go get dressed then." With that Buffy walked out of the kitchen and back upstairs.

"That's good, right? That she wants to go out this afternoon… even if it is to go to the doctor?" Willow started. She was interrupted by Buffy running back into the kitchen.

"Willow! Xander! It's…you've… oh! Come here… feel this!" Buffy shouted as she grabbed their hands and placed them on her round stomach.

"Buffy! The baby's moving and kicking!"  
  


"I know! It's never done this before. This is….wow….Ok. I have to hurry and get ready for the doctor. I have to make sure everything's alright." Buffy rushed back upstairs and they could hear her hurrying to get ready.

The three friends walked into Dr. Birch's office, and Buffy signed in for her appointment. When the nurse called Buffy back, she asked if her friends would like to come with her. Xander paled, and said he thought he'd just be supportive from the waiting room. Willow grinned, and agreed to go with Buffy.

Once inside the little exam room, the nurse looked over Buffy's chart. "Ms. Summers, you're scheduled for another ultrasound today. So we'll be taking another picture of your baby today. Would you like for us to video it?"

"You can do that?"

"We sure can. I'll just go and get a tape and have it set up for when we do the procedure. Also, I need to know if you want to know the sex of the baby, providing we can tell."

"Yes, I'd like to know."

"Ok then. You just sit back and relax. Dr. Birch will be in shortly."

Buffy sat back on the exam table, and Willow noticed that Buffy's eyes were clouding up with tears. Buffy looked over at Willow, and said, "I can't believe he's gone, that he's missing all of this."

"I know, Buffy. But you're getting a tape of the ultrasound today, so he can see it when he gets back. And we have all of the information from the prophecy, so you'll have that to show him so he'll know that you're telling him the truth. It will all work out Buffy."

"Do you think he would have stayed if I'd told him I was pregnant that night at the Magic Box?"

"I don't know Buffy. But I do believe that he loves you. And I know he'd do anything in his power to protect you."

Dr. Birch walked in just then, a little worried to see the tears on Buffy's face. "Buffy, are you alright? Nothing's wrong, is it?"

"No. Just hormones, I guess. I could feel the baby moving this morning."

"Well, that's good, Buffy. Let's get started on this sonogram, now, shall we?"

Dr. Birch set up the ultrasound machine and started the procedure. Buffy smiled as she heard the sound of her baby's strong, rapid heartbeat fill the room. The doctor turned the monitor toward Buffy and Willow, and pointed out to them where the baby was on the screen. Buffy and Willow ooh'd and ahh'd over the little image on the screen, and Buffy was totally lost in the moment of seeing her baby on the little screen and hearing its heartbeat when the doctor said "Do you want to know the sex? We can tell today.. the baby is turned the right way."

"Oh, yes, please. I want to know."

"Well, Buffy," she started as she pointed to the baby on the monitor, "you're going to have a little girl."

~~~~~~~~~~~

_A few days later, at the Magic Box _

Buffy sat, staring at the newest sonogram picture of her daughter. Her daughter. She could hardly believe it… it was all so real to her now. _* I have to snap out of this depression * _ Buffy thought. _* It can't be good for the baby, and I have to do everything that is best for her * _ "Will, I've been thinking about something."

"What's that, Buffy?"

"Now, don't get all wiggy on me when I tell you this. But, this baby…this little girl, is Spike's, and I was just thinking… do we even know what Spike's _real_ last name was? I mean, I want her to be connected to him as much as she can, you know? And I was just thinking that she should maybe have his name."

"Are you sure, Buffy? Because you know that the only way to do that is to change yours. When she's born she has to have the same name as you."  
  


"I know. I mean, I think I'm ok to change my name. I just think it would be good for her, to have some connection to her father. Since I don't know when or if he's coming back." Buffy got a faraway look in her eyes, wondering just where Spike had gone and what he was doing, and if he ever thought of her.

"Well, if you're sure Buffy, I can do some research. I'm sure that with all of the information on Spike that we have in Giles's books, I should be able to trace down his human family, to find out what his last name was. But you know- there's probably a much easier way. I mean, I'm sure Angel knows his history…"

"NO!"  Buffy said before realizing how harsh she'd sounded. "I just don't want to bother him with this. We're sort of trying to stay out of each other's way, you know?"

"I know. Like I said, I'll do the research. It'll be good…give me something to do. I've been a little bored lately with the lack of Hellmouth research and activity" Willow grinned.

She immediately plugged in her laptop and started plundering through the books on vampire histories that Giles left behind. It didn't take her very long to track down the information on Spike's human family. He'd been so notorious as a vampire that it was relatively easy to track his history. She found information on some genealogy sites that had basic information about his whole family, his parents' names and even his siblings. She rushed into the training room, finding Buffy on the floor doing some yoga stretches that her doctor had recommended. "I found it, Buffy! I found it! Did you know Spike had a little sister?"

+ + + + + + + + + 

"So" Buffy told Spike "I decided that I wanted our baby to have your name, so Willow found out what it was, and I changed my name so that when Maggie was born she'd really be a Sinclair."

Spike didn't know what to say. He was shocked. "I just can't believe you did that Buffy."

"You're not upset that I did, are you? Oh, I never even stopped to think that you might have a problem with it, I just thought that it would be better for Maggie, and it would make me feel a little more connected to you while you were gone, and…"  
  


"Buffy, no. I'm not the least bit upset. I just can't believe that you wanted our baby to be connected to me in any way, after I left like I did. You have no idea what that means to me."

She smiled at him, sighing with relief that he was ok with what she'd done. "I named her after your little sister, you know. When Willow told me that you'd had a little sister named Margaret, I knew right away that it was the perfect name for our little girl. So I named her after your sister and gave her my middle name."

Spike swallowed the uncharacteristic knot that had formed in his throat again. "Thank you Buffy. I loved her, so much. And when I was turned, I couldn't stand to see how it affected her. Of course, Mum didn't tell her that I had been turned, just that I'd died, and she was so sad. She was the most precious child I had ever met. Maggie carries her name well." He looked at Buffy and smiled- a real, genuine smile that reached his eyes, and she could tell that he had accepted that she was telling the truth.

Spike noticed how late it was, and even though she wouldn't admit it, he could see how tired Buffy was. "Love, it's late. I should probably get going. You need your rest."  
  
"But Spike, there's so much more I want to tell you. Don't go."

"I'll come back, Love, I promise. Tomorrow if you want. I have some things I need to tell you, too."

"Ok." Buffy said, as she followed him to the door. "Tomorrow night. You'll come back, and we'll do some more catching up. Come over before dinner, if you want, and you can spend some time with Maggie."

"That sounds like a plan, Love." Spike turned to leave, but then turned back suddenly, placing a kiss on Buffy's forehead. "I love you." He said, then turned and walked down the front steps and toward the street.

"I love you, too, Spike," Buffy whispered, wondering if his super-sensitive hearing had picked it up.

He heard her, and smiled, but didn't turn back. There would be plenty more opportunities for her to tell him again, and having heard her whispered declaration, he knew he could wait for the next time. 

(TBC…)

A/N: Thanks again for all of the feedback. You all are spoiling me with your reviews (but don't let that stop you from leaving them….grin)   Sorry if anyone thinks that my "prophecy" is too cheesy, but I was really going for the happy-ending sort of prophecy, so that's what I went with. Oh, and I have no real basis for Spike's last name, other than the fact that I've read several fics where they used Sinclair as his last name and I liked it. So if you are one of those authors who used it as his last name, I hope that you don't mind that I borrowed it. I honestly saw that name used in like 4 stories, and couldn't remember all of them to get permission from the authors. I'm going to be out of town this weekend, so the next update won't be up until at least Monday, but don't worry…this story is far from over, and I have every intention of finishing it. 


	7. The Big Bad?

Notes: Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing this story and telling me to hurry up and update! I've been very sick and have just started to feel up to writing again. Sorry for the delay, but hopefully things are back on track now. There's a whole lot left to this story (I think…) and I hope you'll stick with me till the end :) Thanks again for the wonderful reviews and the encouragement to write faster. Hopefully the next update won't take as long as this one did…

_+ + + + + _

Spike rolled over in his bed and squinted against the thin ray of sunshine that was creeping in through the crack in the curtains. He promptly rolled the other way, out of bed, and walked around the bed to close the small slit in the curtains. Much to his chagrin, the curtains would not stay closed. The tiny crack kept reappearing, directing the single ray of sunlight to the precise spot on the bed where he'd been laying. Finally he was so frustrated with the process, he pulled a chair over to the window and used it to trap the curtains closed.

_* Ha! * _ he thought smugly _*even a wayward window covering can't foil the sleep plans of the Big Bad.* _

As he crawled back in bed and snuggled under the covers, he wondered if his little Maggie was still snug in her bed, or if she'd already woken up to find some new adventure for the day.  Judging by the way Buffy was trying to stifle a yawn when he left her house the night before, he hoped for her sake that Maggie was still asleep. He smiled to himself as these thoughts invaded his head. The Big Bad has a daughter, who in the span of a couple of hours already had him wrapped around her little finger. Well, that could certainly put a crimp in the whole "I'm evil, Grrr.. Argh…" persona. 

Across town, a very stealthy five year old snuck into her mother's room virtually undetected. Of course, when your mother is the Vampire Slayer, with all those heightened senses, it's quite a trick to get away with much of anything. Rather than spoil her daughter's attempt, and actually a little curious as to what she was going to do, Buffy lay perfectly still and kept her eyes closed as Maggie approached her bed.

Maggie climbed up onto Buffy's bed and lay down, facing her. She then took her little hand and started patting Buffy's cheek, whispering "Mommy, wake up, Mommy".  When she received no response from her whispers, her voice grew louder, and a little more demanding. "Mommy Mommy Mommy… it's time to wake up!" Buffy opened her eyes and looked into her daughter's smiling face.

"Good morning, my sweet little bit. Did you sleep ok?" Buffy asked as she noted the time on her alarm clock: 7 a.m. Maggie excitedly nodded her response as Buffy yawned. "Well, what do you say we snuggle back into Mommy's warm bed and sleep a little longer this morning, and then we'll go have a picnic in the park later?"

"Ok!" Maggie crawled under the covers and curled up next to Buffy. "After we go to the park, can we go see Will-yum?"

Buffy hesitated before saying, "No, baby, I think he had a lot to do today. But he's coming back over tonight because we still have some things to catch up on. So you can see him then. You really like him, don't you?"

"Yes. He was in my dream last night. I started having that dream again where the monsters chase me, but he came and told them to go away, just like he promised. And they left and I only had happy dreams after that."

"Well then you'll have to tell him about that when he comes over later. I'm sure he'll be very glad to know he saved you in your dream." _Every night I save you…_she remembered his words vividly. Buffy held her daughter close, and they drifted back to sleep, both having sweet, yet quite different, dreams of Spike.

+ + + + + + +

While a young mother and her daughter enjoyed a picnic in the park, a sleepy bleach-blonde vampire was finally waking up to start his "day". Spike looked at the clock and knew that he had several hours to kill before time to go back over to Buffy's, and he had no idea how he planned to waste the time.

He sat up, propped against the headboard and took in his surroundings. The Sunnydale Inn was one place that had most definitely changed since he'd left. He remembered driving past the place years ago and noting how disgusting it looked. Now, it was one of the nicer places to stay in the small California town. It was nicely furnished with cushy beds and soft linens, with pretty carpets on the floors and marble in the bathroom. He wasn't sure who had taken over management of the place, but he had to give them credit for a job well done. He hadn't told Buffy where he would be staying, and he briefly wondered if she would be surprised at this choice of accommodations. _* She probably thinks I just moved right back into the crypt when I came back * _ he thought. Funny what a little time in nicer surroundings would do to a person.

A snort escaped his nose as Spike thought _Oh yeah, I'm the Big Bad, alright- sitting an almost posh Inn wondering what my precious little girl is up to today and counting the hours till I see her again. Oh well…_

As he warmed up his breakfast in the little microwave in his room, he thought back over the events of the past 24 hours. When he decided to come back to Sunnydale, Spike had assumed that he wouldn't find things exactly as he'd left them. But never in his unlife did he expect to come back and find Buffy with their daughter, and seeming to be so happy with the child and the prospect of him being back. He's expected her to be angry with him, throw a few punches, tie him up and make him explain exactly where he had been for the last five years, and then make him earn his way back into her good graces. And he'd actually been prepared for that. But now… she seemed to welcome him with almost open arms. It was all very strange. She hadn't even so much as asked him where he'd been or why he chose now to come back, much less demanded anything from him. Spike had to admit he was a little unnerved by the whole situation.

And then he thought back over all the things he'd missed. Taking care of Buffy while she was pregnant. Watching her grow into that cute little pregnant figure that he was sure she'd had (he just knew that she was probably the most beautiful pregnant lady that ever lived). Being there to hold her hand when Maggie was born, to soothe her and tell her the pain would be over soon. She'd promised him that she would tell him all about it, but a part of him was a little sad that he'd missed it nonetheless. Then he thought about Maggie. He'd missed her first word, her first step, all her first holidays. Maggie was the only child that he'd ever have, and he missed all those things.

Just then, he made up his mind that he would explain everything to Buffy and beg her to let him be a part of their lives from now on. He just couldn't bear to miss anymore of Maggie's life.

+ + + + + + +

Buffy and Maggie came through the back door, Buffy carrying all of their stuff from the park earlier. Maggie skipped into the kitchen, totally ignoring the fact that Buffy was struggling with the picnic basket and all of her toys that she'd insisted on bringing to the park.

"That was the most fun picnic ever, Mommy!" the child exclaimed.

"Well, baby, I'm glad that you had fun. Now go on upstairs and I'll be up soon to tuck you in for your nap."

Maggie stomped her little foot on the floor. "I don't want to take a nap."

"You have to take a nap."

"But Mommy…" she pleaded, as crocodile tears welled in her eyes. "If you make me take a nap, I'll miss him."

"Miss who, sweetie? It's not time to watch the Count yet. Remember, he comes on at 4."  
  


"No, not the Count, Mommy, Will-yum. He's coming to see you, isn't he? And if I'm asleep I won't get to see him. Will you make him stay, please?"

Buffy smiled. Maybe telling Maggie about her father was going to be easier than she'd anticipated. "Maggie, he's not coming until just before dinner. You'll be up and I promise you'll get to see him. Now, up to your room for a nap, Little Bit. I'll be up in a minute."

A huge grin broke over the child's face, and she skipped happily up to her room for her nap. Buffy was amazed at how accepting of Spike Maggie had been. But still, she was a little apprehensive about telling her that he was her father. She just wasn't sure how to do it. But Spike was back now, and he could help her find the right way to tell her. At that moment, when Maggie was so happy to know that Spike was coming back, Buffy decided that after they had caught up on everything, she would make sure that Spike would stay with them, and be a part of their lives. He had already missed so much of Maggie's childhood, and Buffy didn't want him to miss anymore.  


	8. Can I...?

Buffy hurried around the kitchen, trying to decide what to cook for dinner. Her mind was in a thousand places all at once and she felt like she was going on auto-pilot as she moved around the kitchen. Her thoughts were suddenly pulled out of nowhere when the phone rang.

She was a little relieved to hear Willow's friendly voice on the other end of the line. After chatting for a few minutes Buffy decided it was time to tell Willow about Spike. Willow reacted as only Willow could…she started babbling on, reminding Buffy of everything Spike had done in the past, and wondering why he'd picked now to come back, and wondering where he'd been for the last five years.

Buffy interrupted her babbling. "Willow, stop. How many times have I said that I wished he was here, that he wasn't missing so much of Maggie's childhood?"

"Well, a lot of times but, Buffy, but are you really sure that this is a good idea? Have you told Maggie yet?"

"No, I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to tell her yet. But Will, she already thinks the world of him. I'm going to talk to him and see how he thinks we should tell her."

"Well, I'm sure that you'll do what's best for Maggie. This still seems a little weird, Buffy. I mean, you don't even know where he's been or what he's been up to…"

Buffy sighed. "Will, I know you have reservations. I do too. But I'm asking him to trust me in all of this, and I think that trusting him is the least I can give in return. I just need your support."

Buffy could tell that Willow was getting choked up when she started to speak again. "Buffy, I'm sorry. Maybe if we had all been more supportive of you in the beginning none of this would ever have happened. He might never have left and Maggie wouldn't have spent all these years not having her father in her life…"

"No, Willow. Please don't do this. None of what happened was your fault, and what's done is done. But now I have to focus on what I can do to make this right. And this feels right."

"Well, then, I'm happy for you. If there's anything I can do you'll tell me, right?"

"Of course I will." Buffy reassured Willow. "You're still coming for Maggie's party next week, right?"

"I'm going to try. We've had some weird stuff come up at the school, but I'll know for definite by the weekend. You'll give her my love?"

"Sure thing Will. Listen, I've got to go. Talk to you soon. Bye."

Just as Buffy hung up the phone and went back to her dinner decision, she was interrupted again by a knock on the front door. She didn't even have to look at the clock to know that it was time for Spike to arrive.

She went to the door and swung it open with a grin. Spike was standing there holding a bouquet of flowers; tiny sterling roses, sweet Williams, freesia, and stargazer lilies, all tied with a simple purple ribbon. Buffy's smile grew even wider as she exclaimed "Oh, Spike! You didn't have to bring those flowers for me."

Spike smirked. "Actually, pet… I didn't. These are for Maggie." He watched as the pout that he loved so much replaced her huge grin. 

"Oh," was all she could reply. 

Spike then brought his other hand out from behind his back to reveal a bouquet of blood red roses. "These, love, are for you." And there was the smile he loved even more. Buffy blushed as she took the flowers and closed the door behind him. She led the way to the kitchen, and Spike followed, noting how quiet the house was.

"So, I was just getting ready to cook dinner. Any suggestions?" Buffy grinned as she went about gathering pots and pans from the cabinets.

"Um, what do you know how to cook?" Spike looked away when Buffy shot him an evil look. "What? I never knew you to cook much of anything, except for that one Thanksgiving that you insisted on making a big feast. And even then I wasn't allowed to eat, so how do I know you're any good at this domestic, Betty Crocker bit?"

Buffy smiled. "Ok. Point taken. But I'm actually not bad at the Betty Crocker bit. Maggie actually eats most of what I cook for her."

"Probably just 'cause she doesn't know any better" Spike joked. "Where is Bitty Buffy anyway?"

"She's upstairs taking her nap." Buffy told him over her shoulder. "I had the hardest time even getting her to go down for a nap. She was afraid she'd miss your visit. Like I'd just let her sleep right though you being here or something."

"Really? So how'd you get her to go to sleep?"

"I had to promise her that you'd still be here when she woke up. When I promised not to let you leave without seeing her she finally agreed to take her nap. I was just about to go get her up when you got here." Buffy told Spike. "I guess I'd better go do that now, or she'll never go to sleep tonight at bedtime." Buffy walked around the island toward the door. When she reached the door, Spike stopped her.

"Wait, Love, can I do it?"

"Can you do what?" Buffy asked, turning to face him.

"Can I go wake her up from her nap? Unless you think it would scare her for someone different to wake her."

"No, I don't think it would scare her. If you really want to do it, you can."

Spike beamed with a genuine, happy smile that Buffy had rarely seen on his face. As he made his way down the hall toward the stairs, Buffy called after him "Just a warning, Spike… she's not really a 'morning' person."

"Neither am I, pet, neither am I" he called back, before running up the stairs.

+ + + + + + + 

Spike peeked into Maggie's room and tried to be as quiet as he could be as he went into her room. He watched her sleep for a minute. Spike thought back to his first impression of her when he found her the day before, he's thought she looked like an angel. And he thought she surely looked like a little angel when she slept. So peaceful and pretty, without the slightest hint that she had a worry in the world.

He sat down on the edge of her bed, and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. Maggie's hand came up to swat at her forehead, trying knock away what ever was bothering her in her sleep. "Maggie… it's time to wake up" he cooed softly.

Spike watched as her eyes fluttered open and she squinted to look at him.

Suddenly she opened her eyes all the way and a smile spread across her face as her eyes started to twinkle. "Will-yum!" She jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck in a huge hug. Spike hugged her back "Mommy promised that you would be here when I woke up. Did she tell you that you were in my dream?" she asked.

"No, she didn't. Why don't you tell me what happened."

Maggie told him about her dream and how he saved her from the monsters. Then she went on to tell him about her picnic at the park and everything she'd done that day. Spike just sat there, holding her in his lap and smiling at all of the things she thought of to tell him. She finally ran out of things to tell him about and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you came back, Will-yum. Will you tell me a story later? And can we color pictures and watch tv?"

"Well, Bit, we'll see what your Mum says about all of that. But now we need to go downstairs, because she'll start to worry about us if we don't get down there soon. And, I think you might find a surprise with your name on it in the kitchen."

Maggie's eyes lit up as Spike swooped her up in his arms to take her downstairs. As they went into the kitchen, Maggie spotted the flowers on the counter. "You brought my Mommy flowers," she said to him.

Spike reached out with one hand and grabbed the small bouquet. "Yes, I did, but not these. These are for you," he said as he handed her the flowers tied with the purple ribbon. She tightened her arms around him again.

"Thank you Will-yum." She turned to look at Buffy. "Mommy, did you see? He brought me flowers and they are purple. I love purple!" she exclaimed.

"I know baby. William is a very nice friend to bring you such a sweet surprise. Do you want to watch some TV with him while Mommy finishes dinner?" She could tell by the look on Spike's face that he didn't mind, although she would have to make sure he didn't try to let their 5 year old watch _Passions_.

The two retreated to the living room to watch tv while Buffy stayed in the kitchen, preparing dinner. A little while later, they heard a crash in the kitchen, followed by a loud "Spike, help!"

Spike told Maggie to stay where she was, as he ran into the kitchen to see what Buffy was yelling about. Spike found her standing over the sink, clutching a dish cloth in her hand. There was a large knife laying in the sink, and blood was dripping from her hand. "Good Lord, pet, what did you do?" He asked as he unwrapped her hand and wiped up some of the blood dripping down her fingers.

Tears started to leak from Buffy's eyes and she told him "I was just slicing some lemons, and the knife slipped and I cut my hand. It really hurts, Spike."

"I'm sure it does, pet. You probably got lemon juice in it. But I don't think it's as bad as you think it is… here, look at it" he told her as he turned on the faucet to wash out her cut. Once the blood washed away she could see that it really was only a tiny cut, one that with a band-aid would probably heal over night. The sound of little feet made them turn their attention to Maggie as she entered the kitchen.

"Mommy, why did you call Will-yum Spike?" the child asked, not being phased a bit by the blood on the towel that Buffy still held onto.

"Um, because that's kind of his nickname, sweetie. You know, like Auntie Dawn calls you Lil'Bit. When we were friends a long time ago I called him Spike." Buffy explained.

"But *why *?" Maggie asked again.

Buffy looked at Spike, knowing that she couldn't tell her the real reason his name was Spike. Spike decided to intervene. "Well, Bit, see how my hair is kind of spikey? Well, it was like that way before you were born, too, and some people just started calling me Spike because of it."

"Oh." She said, and frowned a little. "I thought you called him Spike because he had spikey teeth, like the count has. You do have them, don't you? Can I see them?" she asked innocently. 

Buffy paled, and Spike lost what little color he had to begin with. Buffy looked from Spike to Maggie, not really sure what to say. Finally, she croaked out "Maggie, what are you talking about? What kind of a question is that?" 

Maggie looked like she might cry as tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't know she'd said anything wrong, so she said "I'm sorry Mommy. I thought all vampires had fangy teeth like the Count. Will-yum's not a vampire like the Count?"

Buffy and Spike's eyes flew wide as they contemplated how to answer this most observant question from their daughter.

TBC… (Hopefully tomorrow) :)


	9. Real fangs

Maggie looked like she might cry as tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't know she'd said anything wrong, so she said "I'm sorry Mommy. I thought all vampires had fangy teeth like the Count. Will-yum's not a vampire like the Count?"

Buffy's and Spike's eyes flew wide as they contemplated how to answer this most observant question from their daughter.

Buffy had no idea what to say to her daughter, and while Spike could formulate a few answers to Maggie's question, he wasn't totally sure that Buffy would be happy with any of them. Finally he leaned over and whispered to Buffy "Well, pet it looks like she inherited your slayer sense."

Maggie giggled. "I heard that." She told them. Spike looked shocked, not realizing he'd said it loud enough for anyone but Buffy to hear.

Buffy opened the back door  "We'll be right back sweetie. Sit right there." She told Maggie as she pulled Spike onto the back porch. Once they were outside and she closed the door, she hissed "And she inherited your super sensitive hearing it seems. What are we going to tell her Spike?" Buffy demanded.

"Well, pet, this may be a novel concept to you, but how's about we tell her the truth? She obviously knows what I am, and it doesn't scare her, so we might as well tell her the truth."  
  


"Oh, right Spike. Like I'm going to march in there and tell my little girl 'oh, by the way, your Daddy's a big scary vampire. All evil and grr, but don't worry he's not going to hurt you. Disregard everything I've told you about vampires when it comes to him. He's a good vamp.' Is that what you think I should do?" Buffy blurted out as she started to shake unconsciously.

Spike reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her into his arms. "No, Buffy, that's not what I propose you tell her. I think we need to find out exactly what she _does_ know, and how she figured it out. Then, if she really does know that I'm a vampire, and it's not just some crazy idea she dreamed up, then we'll tell her it's true and make sure she's not scared. But if it is just some crazy idea she dreamed up, I still think we should tell her the truth so that she's not scared when she finds out later. Because if there's one thing I've learned, pet, it's that the truth always comes out sooner or later. Better she hears it from us, from people she trusts, rather than from someone else."

"When did you start making so much sense, Spike?"

"I've always made sense, love, you just never listened." He kissed her forehead. "Now what do you say we go back in there before she starts to think she did something wrong."

The two blondes entered the kitchen, but didn't see Maggie. They stopped, and heard her voice coming from the living room. She was talking to someone, but they had no idea who. As they got closer to the living room, they saw that Maggie was talking to her Count doll.

"I just knew he was like you, Count, I just knew it. Was I not supposed to ask him about his teeth? You never mind when I talk to you about your teeth. Maybe he doesn't have fangs like you do, Count.  Or maybe Mommy didn't know he had them…" she kept on talking to her doll, coming up with new theories on what she had done to make Buffy and Spike react the way they did. She turned around to look at them when they came in the door. "Mommy, did I do something wrong?"

"No sweetie, you didn't do anything wrong," Buffy told her. "But listen, Spike and I want to talk to you about something, ok?" Maggie nodded her head.  "Now, we're not mad at you, but what made you think that Spike was a vampire?"

"Well," Maggie began "remember yesterday when he blew on my cut to make it stop stinging? His breath was cold. And his skin is always cold too. And he's so white. And whenever he's around, I get all tingly feeling like whenever Angel was here."

Buffy heard a growl rumbling in Spike's chest when Maggie mentioned Angel, but he stopped when she touched his arm and shook her head at him. Maggie paid them no attention, however, and kept on talking. "And I remember Auntie Dawn telling me about her friend that was a vampire once, and when you said that he was your friend from before then I just thought he was the same person. Was I wrong, Mommy? Is he not like Angel?"

Spike had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. Buffy rolled her eyes at him, and concentrated on what to tell Maggie. "Well, sweetie, Spike is very much not like Angel… in so many ways he's not like Angel, but you weren't wrong. He is a vampire." Buffy waited for Maggie's reaction.

Her eyes lit up, and she beamed. "I knew I was right, I just knew it!" A look of confusion crossed Spike's face at her overzealous reaction. Maggie ran over to Spike and jumped in his lap. "So can I see them, can I ,can I?"

"Um, Lil'Bit, I don't know if that's such a good idea. I don't want to scare you or anything. My fangs aren't quite as pretty as the Count there."

Maggie frowned and looked at Buffy. "I promise I won't be scared, Mommy. I'm not afraid of him. I just want to see what _real fangs_ look like. Pleeeaase???"

Buffy sighed. She knew that Maggie wouldn't quit until they showed her. "Go ahead, Spike. She won't give up until you show her. She's very determined, just like her father…"

Spike smiled, and then turned away from Maggie, who was still sitting in his lap. She looked confused, but when he turned back around, his game face was on. Maggie screamed, and Spike shifted back into his normal face. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. "Shh, pet. See, I didn't want you to be scared and now you are. I'm sorry." 

"Do it again." She whispered in his ear.

"What?"

"Do it again. I'm not scared. I promise. Please do it again."

Spike looked up at Buffy, and she nodded that it was ok. He vamped out again. Maggie smiled this time, and patted his cheeks with her little hands. Then she ran her fingers over the ridges on his forehead. When she reached out to touch his fangs, he pulled back. "Be careful, Bit. My teeth are a little sharper than the ones the Count has. Don't want to cut your little fingers." He winked at her as she continued her exploration of his face. She reached out again and barely touched the edge of one of his fangs, and then touched her own teeth. She leaned back down to whisper in his ear again.

"Why do your eyes turn yellow?"

"They just do, Bit. Comes with the fangs and all that."

"I want them to be purple."

"Well, for you, I'd try to make them be purple. But for now we'll have to stick with yellow." She touched his face again and his game face slipped away.

Buffy slipped into the kitchen to take dinner out of the oven. After calling Spike and Maggie to the kitchen and having dinner, the rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. After dinner they all watched one of Maggie's favorite shows, and then convinced her it was time to go to bed. Spike and Buffy both tucked her in and kissed her good night. Before they reached her door to turn out the light, Maggie called out to them.

"Mommy, Will-yum?"

"Yes, baby?" Buffy answered.

"Since Will-yum is my friend now too, can I call him Spike?"

Spike smiled and went back to her bed. He kissed her forehead again. "You can call me anything you want to, Lil'Bit. Sweet dreams."

As Maggie drifted off into dreamland, Buffy and Spike settled into a comfy spot on the sofa to do some more catching up on everything they missed in the last five years.

TBC…(more filling in of the blanks coming in a couple of days)  :)


	10. Vacation

As Buffy and Spike settled into a comfy spot on the sofa, Buffy smiled as she felt Spike's arm instinctively wrap around her and pull her close to him. She'd forgotten how right this could feel, and how much she'd missed the feeling of safety and happiness she'd always felt in his arms, even though she'd been too stubborn to ever admit it before. Spike was also enjoying the feeling of having her in his arms again, and he was thankful that she was allowing him to be this close to her. He'd honestly thought that he would be in for the fight of his life when he showed back up in her life. They sat there in silence for a few moments, before Buffy started to wonder about something. 

_*He's been back for two whole days, and hasn't tried to kiss me once. What's up with that?*_ Buffy silently thought to herself. Her insecurities came sneaking back into her mind, and she started to wonder if he really had come back to be with her, or if he was now just tolerating her because of Maggie.

Spike could tell that something was wrong. He didn't have to be looking at Buffy to feel when the smile faded from her face and was replaced by a contemplative frown. He knew that "what's wrong" was a loaded question, and one that was better left alone. He figured that if he just gave her time she'd talk. So instead of pushing, he simply tightened his hold on her and lovingly kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek there.

The kiss to the top of her head did it. She inched out from under him and turned slightly to look in Spike's eyes. "Did you mean it last night when you said that you still loved me, Spike?" she asked, searching his eyes for an answer, and finding it before he even spoke.

He tilted his head to the side and gave her that innocent look that could turn anyone's knees to jelly. "Yes, Love, I meant every word. I'll always love you, Buffy." He started to get worried when her frown didn't totally disappear following his declaration. "What's the matter, Love?"

"Nothing" she replied, sounding less than convincing.

"Nuh-uh, pet. Something's bugging you, I can tell. Now you can either tell me what it is now so we can fix it, or you can let it bug you some more and I'll keep asking you what's wrong until you tell me and let me help fix it."

She looked a little embarrassed before she told him what was on her mind. "Well," she started a little hesitantly, "it's just that you've been back for almost two days and…" she took a deep breath, "you haven't even tried to kiss me once." She pouted, thinking she could break his resolve.

He looked partly shocked and partly amused that she was worried because he hadn't kissed her, remembering a time when she'd have knocked him across the room if he even tried to touch her. But then decided to try to make her feel a little better. "I have kissed you Buffy, twice, if I recall." He thought that the roll of her eyes was not a good sign. 

"Yeah, on the forehead. I mean you kissed _Maggie_ on the _forehead _Spike." She was still pouting. And it finally became too much for him to take. He crooked a finger under her chin, and lifted her face up to gaze into her hazel eyes; eyes that drifted closed as he inched closer and closer to her. When he reached her, he gently kissed her lips. She kissed him back, and brought her hands up to his neck, pulling him closer to her. Neither could have told you if the kiss lasted for minutes or hours, but they poured all of the emotion they'd been holding on to for the past five years into that first kiss since their reunion. When they finally pulled apart, Buffy's smile had returned to her face. 

"I really missed you Spike. Have I told you how glad I am that you're back?" She asked him as she settled back into his embrace.

"No, but you can keep on showing me how much you missed me if you wish," he said with his trademark smirk plastered across his face. He lightly began rubbing her back as she laid her head on his chest. He looked over her and saw that the book she'd been showing him the night before was still laying on the coffee table. There was a picture sticking out of it, and he could tell that it was of Buffy but he couldn't really tell when it was from. He leaned forward and pulled the picture out of the book, and smiled when it revealed an obviously pregnant Buffy at the beach. She was wearing a light blue sundress and hat, with sunglasses and the water was just barely skimming her bare feet. "When was this picture taken, Buffy?"

"Hmm? Which one?" she asked, while sitting up to look at the picture in his hand. "Oh, that was about a month and a half before Maggie was born. Things were slow here, so Willow and Xander surprised me with a trip to LA and we went to the beach one afternoon."

Spike traced her image in the photograph and got a faraway look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I missed that, Love."

"Well, I can tell you all about it, if you want." She opened up the book and pulled out some more photos before settling in to tell him about the vacation and the rest of her pregnancy.

+ + + + + + + 

Sunnydale,  June 2002 

Life around the Hellmouth had been…dare they say it? Boring. No big bad's, no weirdness floating around town, no need to crack open a single volume of the ancient texts Giles left behind.  However, as Willow entered the front door of Buffy's house, she normally would have thought there was a huge demon battle being waged inside when she heard the commotion coming from upstairs.

"Ugh! This has grunt got to be crash easier sigh than you're doing it!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Pick it up… you're pinching my finger! Stop!"

Willow rushed up the stairs, to find Xander and Dawn attempting to put together a baby crib, while an amused Buffy watched from her new rocking chair. She had to laugh as she watched them. Dawn was trying to hold up the side of the crib while Xander attached the rails, and all they were really accomplishing was a lot of dropping and pinching and cursing under their breath.

"Willow!" Buffy excitedly welcomed her to the crib assembly fiasco. "I'm so glad you're back. Maybe you can help them so that my baby's crib doesn't fall apart the first time I put her down in it!"

Dawn and Xander rolled their eyes at her and decided to take a break. Willow walked over to Xander and whispered to him "I got everything. Can we give it to her now?" He grinned and nodded. Buffy started to wonder what was going on when the three of them gathered around her, all looking like the cat that ate the canary.

"Uh, guys? What's going on?"

Willow couldn't stand it any longer. "We got you a surprise Buffy! We're all going to L.A. on a vacation!"

Buffy was stunned. "We're going where? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Oh, Buffy it will be fun. Things have been so slow around here and we thought that it would be nice to just get away for a little while before the baby's born. And if you're worried about seeing Angel, you don't have to. He doesn't even know we're coming and you don't have to see him if you don't want to." Willow babbled.

"Well, I wasn't worried about seeing him until you brought it up, but now I am. What if we run into him somewhere? I haven't talked to him since, well, since that time I met him to tell him I was…back. And now I might accidentally bump into him and have to explain to him how I'm pregnant with Spike's child? This is too much. It's too stressful. Did Dr. Birch even say I could travel?"

Dawn interrupted. "Yes, Buffy. I called her and she said it would be fine for you to go on a little trip. You've got two months left until your due date, and she said you would be fine. And I'm sure Willow didn't mean to get you all wiggy by mentioning him," she said while shooting a glare at Willow.

After a little more convincing, they convinced Buffy that a vacation would be good for all of them. A chance to escape the everyday life of Sunnydale and do something fun for a change. So they all packed their bags and headed out for four days in Los Angeles. The road trip was just like any other road trip, except for the added stops for Buffy to go to the bathroom. The girls all laughed and sang along with their favorite CD's while Xander drove. Once in LA, they did every possible touristy thing imaginable. They took tours of the star's homes, toured everything connected to show business, went to a baseball game, and spent a day at the beach. Dawn was obsessed with taking pictures and took enough to fill three albums. She kept insisting on taking pictures of Buffy, despite the fact that Buffy objected and said she looked too fat to be in any pictures by herself. Dawn would just smile and say "Trust me, Buffy, you'll want these one day."  On the way home, the baby was very active, kicking and moving and constantly reminding Buffy that she was there. The more she felt her baby move, the more her thoughts turned to Spike. She took her journal out of her bag and began to write to him.

June 20 

_Oh Spike, we're just on our way home from a great vacation in LA. I know…LA of all places. Willow, Xander and Dawn surprised me with it, and I was a little hesitant at first, but they finally talked me into it. And it was really fun. You would have hated it. We took in every single tourist attraction we could find. Our baby girl has been extra active today. She keeps moving around and reminding me that she's there. As if I could forget- all I have to do is look down at my fat belly to remember she's there (ha!). I know that I should be mad as hell at you for leaving. You promised me you'd never leave. But I've had plenty of time to think about it. In fact, that's all I have time to do anymore. I quit my job at the Doublemeat Palace, and there's not really been anything to patrol for all summer. When there is Willow and Xander patrol. They're scared that I'll get hurt if I go out, and I know that you'd probably feel the same way. So I just sit around and think and try to get the house ready for a new baby. But mostly I think about how much I wish you were here to help me and I know that you're not because I pushed you away. I was too scared to admit that I had any sort of feelings for you and I guess it finally just got to be too much for you. But now I think I know a little of how you felt. Somedays all I want to do is come to you and feel safe in your arms, and feel loved and it almost breaks my heart that you're not there. Is that what it was like when you would tell me how much you loved me and I would send you away without a second glance? I wish you were here to feel our baby girl moving. She's a little reminder of you. She reminds me of how much you loved me, and how much I love you, and that even though I was too scared or proud to admit it, something good could come out of loving you. I hope that you will come back soon. I know that I've probably hurt you too much to hope that you'd want me again, but I want our baby to know you. I know you'll love her, and I don't want to keep you from being part of her life. I'm going to tell her all about you, and I know she'll love you too._

Buffy put her journal back into her bag, and closed her eyes to take a nap. Before she knew it they were back home in Sunnydale. Buffy managed to sneak out of the house and go to Spike's crypt in the hope that he'd come back while they were gone. But she found it just as empty as when they left. She allowed a tear to fall down her cheek as she walked back home, wondering where Spike was and if he would ever come back.

The next month and a half passed by without much action. Buffy managed to get the nursery totally set up, and everything was ready to bring the baby home. Now she just had to wait until it was time, and according to her doctor she had about two weeks left. Dr. Birch instructed Buffy to take it easy, and get plenty of rest. Five days after that visit to the doctor, Buffy woke up with a feeling that she'd never felt before. She got up out of bed, and just as she stood up a sharp pain shot through her stomach. "Oh, I think it's time," she said to herself. She went out into the hallway and started calling for Willow and Dawn. "Will, Dawn… come quick! I think it's time! Hurry!"

Willow and Dawn came running out of their rooms. Dawn looked scared. "But Buffy, the baby is not supposed to be here for  like 10 more days!" Willow managed to calm Dawn down by assuring her that babies are born early everyday. They grabbed Buffy's bag and headed to the hospital. 

About 12 hours and many curses and screams later, Buffy heard her baby cry and watched in wonderment as the nurse wrapped the little child in a blanket and placed the baby in her arms. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at the child. Buffy whispered "Hey little one. You're finally here. I feel  like I've waited so long to see you, and now you're here. I love you so much, and I promise I'll keep anything bad from happening to you." Dawn and Willow had been allowed to stay in the room with her the whole time, and both girls watched from the corner as Buffy spent the first few moments with her daughter.

The nurse came over and gently interrupted Buffy. "Have you decided on a name yet, Ms. Sinclair?"

Buffy blinked her tears away and replied, "Yes. Her name is Margaret Anne."

"Buffy, you named her after Spike's sister. That's so sweet!" Dawn cooed from across the room.

+ + + + + + 

Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy again as she told him about Maggie's birth. He really hated that he missed it, that he had stayed away for so long, but he knew that he really didn't have a choice. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to hold your hand, Love. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to be there to welcome her into the world."

"Well, if I'd let Dawn have her way we'd have it on video. She wanted to tape the whole thing and I wouldn't let her."

"That's probably a good thing. I mean as much as I would've liked to be there, I don't really think it would be the same watching it on the telly."

Buffy laughed and got up to go check on Maggie. Spike went to the kitchen to make some hot cocoa, and took with him a huge stack of photos that Dawn had taken of Buffy while she was pregnant. He smiled as he flipped through the photos and made hot cocoa for he and Buffy. Then he remembered that Maggie had mentioned Angel being there before. When Buffy came back he'd definitely have to ask her about that.

TBC….

A/N: Ok, this chapter is getting really long. I know that's a funky place to end a chapter, but this one is starting to ramble. More is coming soon, b/c finals are almost over! Hurray! Also, this chapter may be a little too fluffy, but after watching last night's episode I just couldn't bear to write anything that wasn't fluffy. :( 


	11. Sweet Dreams

Buffy walked into the kitchen and found Spike stirring marshmallows into two cups of hot cocoa. She smiled when she saw that he was looking through the rest of the photographs he'd found earlier, but she noticed that he had a bit of a contemplative look on his face. She walked around the island and stood across from him. He looked up at her when she reached out and touched his hand.

"You're wondering when and why he was here, aren't you?"

"Who's that, pet?" he replied, trying to act nonchalant.

"You know who… you're wondering about Maggie mentioning Angel before. You want to know when he was here and why he was here."

"Well…"he hesitated a little, " I guess I was a bit curious about her mentioning the great poof earlier. She didn't seem too impressed by him though. Did he brood too much for the Lil'Bit?"

Buffy suppressed a giggle, and picked up her cup of cocoa while leading Spike back into the living room. "It really wasn't a bit deal," Buffy said as she sat back down on the sofa, motioning for Spike to sit with her, " In fact it was quite a surprise. For me and for Angel. Maggie was about three when he came here, looking for help with some big case they were working on in LA. I hadn't seen him since, well… long before you left. The last time I'd seen him was when we met just after I came back. Anyway, he just showed up here one night thinking that we might have some information that would help with his case. Maggie and I were playing in her room, and Willow answered the door. She was trying to find out what he wanted before she told me he was here, but before she could I came downstairs, carrying Maggie, and practically ran right into him. 

"Maggie demanded to know who he was around the same time Angel was wondering who Maggie was. And you were right. She was less than impressed with him. I think she didn't like it that he wouldn't give her his undivided attention and dote on her like everyone else does. And he was more than a little confused about her. I didn't even bother to try and convince him that you were her father. I told him the truth, and if he chose to believe it fine; if he didn't that's fine too. He didn't stay very long. Willow helped him dig around in the research books and find some stuff to help with his case, and then he left. He hasn't been back."

Spike looked a little enlightened. "That must be why he tried to contact me a while back then."

"He tried to contact you? How'd he know how to find you? I mean we tried everyway we could think of and couldn't find you."

"It's that vampire family connection thing. Anyway, he tried to contact me, but I wouldn't acknowledge it. I figured that he was just trying to stir up trouble with me, so I ignored him. I guess he was going to tell me about Maggie. Or get my version of the story to see if they matched up. Who knows…"

"Spike, what are we going to tell Maggie? I mean, do you want her to know that you're her father?"

"Of course I do! Buffy why would you wonder about that?"

There was no way Buffy could really explain all of her thoughts and fears to him. She got nervous and started to ramble again. "Well, I mean, I just didn't know how long you were planning on staying, or if you wanted her to know, and if you're just planning on leaving again soon I just don't know how she would take it. I mean she already thinks you hung the moon and you've only been here two days and if I tell her that her Daddy's here and then you leave I think it might crush her because she's waited so long for you to come back and…"

He interrupted her by kissing her. She was still mumbling at first, and then realized that he was kissing her, so she stopped trying to talk and kissed him back. He trailed little kisses along her cheeks and down her neck. Buffy was totally lost in the moment when he whispered, "I have to go."

"What? You're leaving us? Just like that? I can't believe you!"

Spike smiled and held her closer, despite her efforts to wiggle out of his embrace. "Not for good, pet. But look out the window. Sunrise is almost here, and if I don't go soon you'll have to explain the big pile of dust on the front sidewalk to Maggie."

"Oh." Buffy said, only then realizing that they'd sat up and talked all night. "You know, you could stay here." Spike's eyes got wide and she could tell he was about to protest, so she continued. "Dawn's room is all made up, so you could stay there. The curtains are pretty thick in there so you'd be safe from the sunlight, and you can get some sleep, and then later this afternoon we'll figure out something to tell Maggie."

"She's going to wonder why I was here all night, pet."

"I know. We'll tell her the truth. We were having such a good time talking and catching up that we lost track of time and you didn't have enough time to get back to your place. She knows that you can't be out in the sunshine."

"Ok, you talked me into it."

The two walked quietly up the stairs and peeked into Maggie's room before going to their own rooms. She was sleeping so soundly, and they thought that she must have been dreaming when they saw a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Buffy tucked her blanket back around her and smoothed her hair back from her face. Spike leaned down and kissed her forehead before whispering " Sweet dreams, little one."

Spike went into Dawn's room and noted how much it had changed since he left. All traces of the fifteen year old that lived there were gone, and there was plenty of evidence of the young woman who now only came here for school breaks and holidays. He lay across the bed and contemplated the little family that lived in this house, and how much he hated having to be away from them for so long. He drifted off to sleep remembering where he'd been the past five years and why it was so important that he stay away. Now that he was back, though, he intended to do everything he could to make sure that Buffy and his daughter were as happy as they possibly could be.

+ + + + + 

A few hours after Buffy and Spike had gone to sleep, Maggie woke up. She decided to creep into her mom's room and wake her up again, but was distracted in the hall way when she noticed that the door to Dawn's room was closed. Well, mostly closed; it was actually just barely open. She went over to the room, and peeked inside. It was a little bit dark, and even though Maggie was usually afraid of the dark she was feeling pretty brave this morning. She ducked inside the room and saw Spike sleeping in Dawn's bed. Suddenly, waking Spike up seemed much more fun than waking up Buffy.

Maggie crept over to the bed, and climbed up beside Spike. She reached out and touched him, giving his arm the slightest little shake. He didn't budge. She patted his cheeks, and he still didn't budge. Her mommy was usually awake by now. She leaned over and cooed in his ear "Will-yum…Spike. Wake up. Wake up wake up wake up. Please?? Pleeaasse?" She saw his eyes twitch, but he didn't wake up. She immediately went to her last resort, and started jumping on the bed. The sudden jarring woke him up, and when Maggie saw his eyes fly open she stopped jumping and flopped down beside him. "Good morning!" she gleefully said.

Spike looked at her from the corner of his eye, trying to figure out what time it was and how long he'd been asleep. He saw Maggie staring at him with a big grin plastered on her face, apparently very pleased with her efforts to wake him. "Morning, Bit. What time is it?" 

"Time to wake up. Why are you here? It's light out side."

Spike explained to her about staying up too late talking with Buffy and not being able to get back to his place before sunrise. She was excited at the prospect of spending the entire day with Spike, not really caring that he'd only slept a few hours. Spike glanced around the room and found Dawn's clock. It was 7 am. "Maggie, you didn't wake your Mum, did you?"

"No. I saw that you were here and woke you up first." She smiled coyly at him, and he smiled back, amazed at how much this child could wrap him around her little finger every time she was with him.

"Well, let's let her sleep for a little while then. What do you say we go downstairs and get some breakfast?"

The unlikely pair ventured down the stairs, being careful to be very quiet so as not to wake Buffy. When they reached the kitchen, Maggie announced that she wanted ice cream and cookies for breakfast. Spike talked her out of it, and she settled for a bowl of cereal and some toast. Spike was a little surprised to find containers of blood in the fridge, but took out a packet and poured it into a mug to warm in the microwave. After breakfast, Spike and Maggie turned on the TV and watched it in the background as she talked him into playing her favorite games with her.

Later, Buffy woke up and looked at her alarm clock. She sat straight up in her bed when she realized she had slept until 11. Rubbing her eyes and putting on her robe, she rushed into Maggie's room only to find that she wasn't there. Buffy started to panic until she also found that Spike was missing from his room. When she got downstairs what she saw caused fresh tears to spring to her eyes. Spike and Maggie were sitting in the chair; Maggie was curled up in his lap with her head on his shoulder. He was reading her a story, but she had fallen asleep. Spike kept reading to make sure she was asleep. Buffy walked into the room, and he motioned for her to be quiet. She walked over and sat on the side of the chair beside them, and took the book from Spike as he closed it.

Buffy leaned over and whispered to Spike "How long has she been asleep?"

"Just a few minutes. I was reading to her, and she just tuckered out. I guess we just had too much fun this morning and she was worn out," he whispered back.

"Too much fun this morning? Spike how long has she been up?"

"We've been up since 7, Luv. We had breakfast, played some games, watched some TV, colored some pictures, and read some stories. She fell asleep during the third story."

"You've been up with her since 7? Spike you didn't even go to bed until 5! You should have came in and got me up."

"Nonsense, pet. You looked so tired when you turned in last night, I thought you could use some extra rest." Spike tried to stifle a yawn as he said "we really did have fun this morning."

Buffy smiled. "Spike, you look exhausted. Why don't you put her down on the sofa and go get some sleep. I'll make sure she doesn't wake you up again."

Spike smiled back at Buffy. "Can I just hold her for a little while longer? I really don't mind. She's ok…"

"Ok. Spike. I just didn't want her to bother you. I'm going to get some coffee. Stay there as long as you want." Buffy turned and went to the kitchen to put some coffee on. When she returned to the living room, this time she couldn't stop the unexpected tears from falling from her eyes. Spike was still holding Maggie, and he had also fallen asleep in the chair. Buffy took the blanket off the sofa and lightly covered them up, and kissed them both on the cheek. "Sleep well, my loves." She whispered, before returning to the kitchen to start making Maggie's lunch, leaving Spike and Maggie to their sweet nap-time dreams.


	12. Daddy

Ch 12: Daddy

Buffy finished off her second cup of coffee as she made lunch for Maggie. She still couldn't believe that she had slept in until 11, and that Spike had been up all morning with their daughter. She crept back to the living room door and gazed at the two of them, still sound asleep in the big, comfortable chair where he'd been reading to Maggie. Maggie had obviously fallen soundly asleep, and was totally relaxed. Her little arms fell limply at her sides, and she was curled up so that her head rested sideways on Spike's shoulder. Her little mouth was tightly closed, almost forming a pout, which only highlighted her little cheekbones more than usual. She was so relaxed that Buffy would be afraid of her falling in the floor, mid-dream, if it weren't for the way Spike was holding her.

Spike's arms were wrapped securely around the little girl, as if his very life depended on protecting her. His head was cocked to the side ever so slightly, just enough that Maggie's little forehead rested on the edge of his chin. From this angle, Buffy could see just how much Maggie resembled Spike. She had always thought that Maggie was the perfect little combination of the two of them, but now it was so much easier to over look the resemblances to Buffy and concentrate on her resemblance to Spike. They shared the same cheekbones, the same curl in their hair (if only Spike wouldn't comb his back so straight-like), and after Maggie's little incident with Alex, it looked like they might even share the same scarred eyebrow.

Buffy stood there for a few more moments, completely loosing herself in her thoughts. She had to tell Maggie soon that Spike was her father. But she honestly had no idea how to do it. She'd told Maggie so much about her father over the years, and now she wondered how her little girl would think Spike measured up to the stories.  * _This would be so much easier if I had known he was coming * _ Buffy thought. _* Then I could have prepared her… Now that he's here, what do I do? Say 'oh, by the way, that guy that you've gotten really attached to? He's your Daddy.' Of course that's not what you tell a 5 year old. Maybe Spike will have some idea of how to tell her. But we have to tell her soon…* _

The beep of a kitchen timer snapped Buffy out of her thoughts, signaling to her that the cookies she'd put in the oven were done. Buffy scurried back into the kitchen to take them out of the oven before they burned and the smoke detector alarmed the whole neighborhood. Buffy put the cookies on a plate to cool while she finished up making Maggie's favorite lunch. The phone rang, and she snatched the cordless out of its cradle before the second ring, hoping that she caught it before the ringing woke either Spike or Maggie.

"Buffy, Hi!" She smiled when she heard Willow's voice.

"Hey, Will. This is twice in two days I've talked to you on the phone. I feel honored," she almost laughed as she talked with her best friend.

"Well, I emailed you, but you didn't write back, so I figured I might as well call you on my break," Willow sighed.

"So sorry, Will. But I've been a little pre-occupied.  Haven't even switched on the computer in the last couple of days. Nothing's wrong is it?"

"No! No, Buffy, I was just letting you know that everything here is working out much more smoothly than we'd anticipated. So it looks like I'll be able to make it out a couple of days early for the big 5th birthday party!"

"Wonderful! Maggie will be so excited. She was just asking me the other day if Auntie Willow was coming for the party. She'll be glad to get to see you before the party. That is… if I can tear her away from Spike long enough." Buffy giggled, and Willow did too.

"So, am I to assume that things are going well between all of you?" the witch prodded.

"Yeah, things are going really well, Willow. Maggie has Spike wrapped around her little finger, and he's really great with her. I haven't quite figured out how to tell her about him yet, though."

"Well, Buffy, I'm sure that it will all work out. Listen, I've got to run in a minute, students will be coming in… I'll be back in Sunnydale on Thursday now, instead of Saturday, and Xander is picking me up from the airport. We'll call you as soon as we get to his house and I get settled in."

"Oh crap… Xander!" Buffy exclaimed.

"What? Oh… you haven't told him about Spike?" Willow inquired.

"No. I haven't even talked to him or Anya lately. He's gonna flip, Will."

"Nah, he won't. I think he finally realized how important it is to you to have your family together. Xander's grown up a lot over the last five years, Buff. He'll be ok. You just concentrate on my favorite little munchkin and her birthday."

"Can do, Will. Call us as soon as you get here. Talk to you then."

Buffy snuck back into the living room, and held her breath as she hoped that Spike still slept as soundly as he had five years earlier. She gently loosened his grasp on Maggie, and sighed when she realized he hadn't really budged. _*Still sleeps like the dead * _Buffy mused, as she gingerly picked her daughter up in her arms. She carried her down the hallway, and Maggie warily opened her eyes to look at her.

"Good morning sleepy-head." Buffy cooed to her little one.

"Mommy!" she said excitedly, around a yawn. "Spike and I were playing and I fell asleep."

"I know you did. Come on now, let's wash up for lunch." Buffy told her, as she pulled a little step stool up to the kitchen sink so that Maggie could reach her hands under the faucet.

"Where's he at?" Maggie inquired as Buffy helped her rinse her hands and dry them on a towel.

"Hmm? Oh, Spike's still sleeping in the chair. You woke him up awfully early this morning, Little Bit."

Maggie was dancing around the kitchen, while Buffy was bringing their plates to the table. Buffy was still thinking about how sweet Spike had been that morning and how they would tell Maggie that he was her father, as she heard Maggie talking. "I'll go get him so he can eat lunch with us" Maggie said as she danced around the kitchen island toward the door.

"No," Buffy said, still lost in her thoughts, "Let your Daddy sleep a little longer, he was up very late last night."

As soon as the words tumbled out of her mouth, Buffy's eyes grew as wide as saucers, and her hand came up to cover her mouth. Maggie looked a little confused, then squealed. Spike immediately sprang to the kitchen door when he heard Maggie's squeal, mistaking it for a cry.

"What's wrong, pet?" He asked, taking in the horrified look on Buffy's face and the look of wonderment crossing Maggie's features as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Everything was happening too fast, from where Buffy was standing. She sat down heavily in the chair, holding her head in her hands. She felt like she could still feel that word, "Daddy", bumping around in her brain, and still she couldn't believe she'd been so lost in her thoughts that she let it fly unchecked out of her mouth. She peeked out at the scene before her through her fingers, wondering what Spike's reaction to her verbal blunder would be.

She watched as a huge grin broke over Maggie's face, as she looked up at Spike. "Daddy?" she questioned, searching  his face for an answer. 

^^^^^^^

Notes: I was finding it very hard to write in the last couple of weeks… everything was so dark and hopeless on the show. But now, after the season finale, I have sudden inspiration smile Add to that the fact that I have lots of time on my hands, being out of school and all, and I should be writing more updates to this fic much more often. Thanks to everyone who's still with me. I promise there's still more to come. Let me know what you think about it! 


	13. Daddy, part 2

Buffy watched while a huge grin broke over Maggie's face, as she looked up at Spike. "Daddy?" she questioned, searching his face for an answer. 

Spike stood there for just a beat, wondering where Maggie had come up with such a complex question with a single word. Then he looked over at Buffy, and realized that one way or the other, she must have told Maggie. 

Just a few seconds ago, Buffy had felt that everything was moving too fast, as if the world had started spinning out of control. Now, after hearing little Maggie actually call Spike "Daddy", she felt like an eternity was passing by; time had seemed to stand still while Buffy and Maggie waited for Spike's reaction. Buffy wondered if all this was normal, this feeling that time was lurching between fast and slow, or if this was just some horrible trick being played on her by the Powers that Be, to watch her squirm after yet another occurrence of open-mouth-insert-foot syndrome. Suddenly all the time lurching that Buffy thought she was feeling made her very sick to her stomach, yet she still sat there and watched Spike and Maggie as one might watch a horrible train wreck on the six o'clock news.

Maggie was starting to look more worried than excited; her huge smile was slowly fading to an adorable pout. Spike reached down and picked her up, hugging her tightly as she said it again, pulling back to look straight into his eyes. "Daddy?" This time it was almost a whisper.

"Yeah, Baby?" Spike smiled at her, watching as the grin returned to Maggie's face. She threw her arms around his neck and held on for dear life. Buffy finally looked up at him, trying to gauge the emotion behind his crystal blue eyes. She knew that they probably had a lot more explaining to do, but for right now there was no way she was going to interrupt this moment between Spike and Maggie.

Her eyes filled up with tears again as Spike motioned for her to come to him, and when she reached his side he let one arm wrap securely around her, holding both her and Maggie close to him. And he thought that this was the moment he'd been waiting for his whole existence. To be standing there, holding his girls, and feeling a love so powerful that nothing could destroy it. Oh yes, there was more explaining to be done, but for now, they were all happy, and none of them wanted to break the enchantment of the moment.

+ + + + + 

Of course, enchantment can only last so long. Just as Buffy was starting to feel safe again in Spike's arms, and starting to be happy that her family might really be together, the back door flew open. Xander breezed in, just as he always had, more or less acting like he belonged in Buffy's kitchen.

"Hey Buff! Just wanted to come and check on my favorite little… WHOA!" Little Alex was following closely behind his father, and bumped right into him when Xander came to a sudden stop in front of the island. Alex rubbed his forehead while Xander just stood there, moving his mouth but not really finding any words that would come out.

Buffy jumped a little when she heard Xander's voice, but didn't really pull away from Spike or turn to face Xander. "Ugh" she said under her breath, and Spike had to bite his tongue to keep from cracking up right in front of their 'guest'. Finally she turned around. "Xander. I really wasn't expecting to see you today. How's everything going?"

"Uh…um, Spike!" was all he could really come up with.

"Xander." Spike replied, with hardly any tone of friendship.

Maggie watched all the adults, wondering why they were all acting so strange. Of course, she was trying to figure this out in an effort to ignore Alex, who stood nervously beside Xander and stared at her and Spike. "Uncle Xander!" she started, "He came! I told you that my Daddy would come for my party and he did!" she brightly told him.

Xander's face paled even more. "Buffy…you told her?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes, and put on one of Willow's famous 'resolve faces'. "Xander, _not now._ We," she said as she motioned to herself, Spike, and Maggie, "still have a lot to talk about. When we're done, I'll deal with you." She was a little surprised when Xander backed off, and seemingly dropped the subject.

Alex still stood there, eyes darting between all of the people in the room. Spike put Maggie down and knelt in front of the younger Harris boy. "Hi there. You must be Alex. Maggie told me all about you the other day. I'm her Dad, but you can call me Spike." Maggie stood behind Spike during this encounter and stuck her tongue out at Alex, thinking that Spike didn't know what she was doing.

"That's a funny name." Alex replied, wanting so badly to reach out and grab Maggie's tongue and make her wish she'd never stuck it out at him.

"Yeah, I suppose it is," Spike said with a slight chuckle, thinking _like father like son…_ Without even turning to look at her, Spike said "Maggie, stop sticking your tongue out at him." She looked shocked that Spike had known what she was doing, but stopped nonetheless. "Now, Little Bit, don't you have something you want to say to Alex?" he asked her.

"No." came her simple reply.

Spike turned around to face Maggie, but Buffy interrupted before he could say anything to her. "Maggie, I do believe that we talked about this, and there is something you need to say to him."

"No." she said again, crossing her little arms defiantly over her chest.

"Margaret Anne…" Buffy started, but Spike intervened before she could get too upset. "Margaret, you know what you did wasn't right, don't you?" he asked her.

She nodded, and finally gave into her parents' demands; a bit worried that they had both used her whole name. "I'm sorry that I said not nice things to you the other day Alex, and I'm sorry that you pushed me down. And I'm sorry if you got into trouble because of me."

"Okay." Alex told her. 

"Uh, pet… there's something else." Spike prodded her.

Maggie looked thoroughly disappointed, and whispered "I'm sorry I bit you."

"A little louder," Spike told her.

Maggie sighed loudly, and looked right at Alex. "I'm sorry that I bit you the other day. My  Mommy and my Daddy say that it's not nice to bite people, and that I shouldn't do it."

Alex nodded. Xander giggled. Buffy and Spike looked up at him as if he'd grown another head, for laughing while Maggie apologized to Alex. "What?" he said between giggles, "It's kinda funny… Spike telling Maggie not to bite people."

Buffy just rolled her eyes and knew that while Xander had done a lot of growing up over the last five years that some things would never change. "Well, Buff, we just came by to check on Maggie… make sure she hadn't pulled any more runaway attempts. We should go now, looks like you were just in the middle of something when we got here."

"Yeah, Xander, we were. Thanks. I'll talk to you later." Buffy said, as she opened the back door for them to leave. Xander smiled at her on his way out the door, and Buffy could have sworn he tossed a grin over her shoulder to Spike as well.

When the door closed, Spike said "Well, that was interesting."

"Yeah, it sure was…" Buffy agreed.

+ + + + 

Maggie sat at the table, happily munching away at her lunch. Buffy and Spike stood at the island, watching her and talking quietly. "She seems to be taking all of this rather well," Buffy said.

"Yeah, she does. But pet, care to tell me how she found out? I thought we were going to tell her later."

Buffy explained to him about how she'd let the cat out of the bag while making lunch.  She was still obviously upset about how she'd let it slip out like that, but inside she was relieved that Spike had reacted so calmly. He assured her that there was really no other way for him to react… they'd talked about telling her, and Spike was glad that Maggie finally knew the truth.

"You know, Love, I really think that letting it slip like that was probably for the best." Spike tried to reassure Buffy.

"How you do mean?"

"Well, Buffy, think about it. If we had sat down with her to tell her, she probably would have been scared to death. I mean, we were both a little worried about it, and she's bound to pick up on that. She's a very perceptive child, Buffy. We would have ended up being way too serious and she might have thought she was in trouble or something. This way, it just sort of happened all natural like, and she didn't have to face some scary serious conversation with us. And, it let the focus be on her, instead of all the stress we were feeling."

Buffy smiled. "There you go making a lot of sense again." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, and sighed when he wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey." Maggie said, and interrupted their moment.

"Yeah, Bit?" Spike asked.

Buffy grinned, because she knew what was coming. She knew that Maggie was about to start firing questions at them, much like she'd done to Spike on the first day he was there and she demanded he tell her all about England. However, Buffy never anticipated that the first question out of her child's mouth would be the one she both dreaded and longed to know the answer to.

"You don't have to leave us again, do you Daddy? Will you promise to stay forever?" She had such sincerity in her question, and Spike recognized the hope twinkling in her eyes. It was the same hope he'd carried for years; all the time that he was falling deeper and deeper in love with Buffy.

Buffy held her breath waiting for Spike to answer, and seriously hoped that she wasn't about to start feeling that crazy time-shifty thing again. Spike wasted no time in answering Maggie's question, and he held Buffy a little tighter as he spoke. "No, Bit, I don't have to leave you. I'm going to stay here, as long as your Mommy wants me to stay. I missed your first 4 birthday parties, I don't intend to miss anymore." He told her, before turning his attention to Buffy. "That is, if that's ok with you, Love."

Buffy nodded as her eyes misted over again. "You've got to stop saying things to make me cry, Spike. I don't think I've cried this many happy tears in all my life." She said, before he leaned in to kiss her. Buffy pulled back after a moment, and Spike looked disappointed. "Maggie's right there…"she whispered.

"Right then." Spike said with a smirk. "We'll pick this up later, yes?"

"You can bet on it." Buffy said, countering his smirk with a wink.

"Hello?" Maggie called, waving her little hands back and forth. "I still wanna know…." She trailed off as she skipped into the living room, beckoning Buffy and Spike to follow her. Buffy knew that this round of questions from her was going to last awhile, but she didn't really care. She and Spike had all the time in the world to spend with their daughter, and she wanted to make the most of it.

+ + + +

Note: Ok, that's all for this weekend L  I'm going out of town and won't have computer access. Stay tuned though for Maggie's birthday party, and some catching up between Spike and Dawn and the rest of the Scooby gang!


	14. Where have you been?

Spike and Buffy spent the better part of the afternoon answering question after question from Maggie. She wanted to know all sorts of things, but she finally asked them the second question that Buffy was a little nervous about the answer to.

"Mommy says that you've been away working. What were you doing? Did you go anywhere fun?"

Buffy wondered what his answer would be, while Spike sat there, nervously contemplating what to tell Maggie. He thought she was a little too young to know the whole story, but he knew he had to tell her something. He looked at Buffy and smiled, then tried to explain things in a way that Maggie would understand.

"Well, Bit, I did go to some pretty interesting places. I was doing lots of different things, but mainly I was doing lots of studying and finding ways to keep you and your Mum safe," he explained, hoping this would satisfy her.

"So were you fighting the monsters like in my dreams?" she asked.

"Yeah, sort of like that Maggie." He told her. 

The phone rang, and Buffy quickly went to answer it. When she came back she watched Maggie and Spike for a moment, still amazed at how their interaction with each other was so natural, as if he'd never been gone at all.

"Sweetie?" Buffy said, and grinned when both Spike and Maggie looked up at her. "Maggie," she clarified "How would you like to go spend the night with Auntie Dawn tonight at her dorm?"

"Really? I can really go stay with her?"

"Yes, she just called and said that she'd come by and pick you up in about a half hour."

"Yay! Yay! Yay!" Maggie exclaimed as she skipped up the stairs to her room. Buffy followed, to pack her things, while Spike stayed behind in the living room. He knew that Maggie's questions had sparked some questions in Buffy's mind as well, and part of him was glad that they would now have some time alone for him to explain where he had been for the last five years.

The longer he sat there and thought about it though, he really wasn't sure where to begin. Buffy had been so understanding since he'd been back, and he certainly didn't want to do anything to make her not trust him. Now he worried that maybe she had only been so calm because Maggie was always around. Now that they were going to be alone together was she going to loose it? He didn't really have too much time to worry about how Buffy would react to being alone with him, because before he knew it the ringing of the doorbell snapped him out of his thoughts. Buffy called down from upstairs, asking him to get the door. He never expected the reaction he would get from Dawn when he opened the door.

As the door swung open and Dawn saw Spike standing there, her eyes narrowed into little slits; Spike couldn't really tell if she was angry or just thinking of something to say to him. He didn't have to wait very long to find out.

"Spike." She said, rather flatly. "Where's Maggie and Buffy?"

"Uh, they're upstairs, getting the Littler Bit's things together. How are you, Nibblet?" He asked as he moved aside, giving her room to come inside.

Once inside the living room, Dawn turned and swiftly smacked Spike in the chest. "Where the hell have you been, Spike?"

Spike was shocked, but Dawn didn't let the look of confusion that was taking over his face stop her. She kept smacking him, walking him further and further into the living room. "I mean it Spike, tell me where the hell you were for five years. Have you even told Buffy? Are you going to tell her? Did you think you could just waltz back in here and think that nothing had changed? Answer me!" She finally had him backed up against the chair, and on her final exclamation she pushed him down into the chair; the fact that he was not trying to fight back fueling her anger even further.

Spike had never seen his Nibblet act this way. He's seen her upset before, sure, but he had never seen such anger and hurt reflected in her eyes. The second that he looked up at her to speak to her, she turned away, and started pacing the room. In a much quieter, but still flat voice she said "Well, are you going to tell me?"

Spike remained in his seat and watched her pace around the room. "In the last five years I've been a little bit of everywhere. I spent a lot of time in England, but I did travel around to some other places whenever I needed to. Mostly I was making sure that I could keep you and Buffy safe when I did come back. I tried to keep up with you as best I could. If I had known about Maggie sooner, though, you can bet that I wouldn't have stayed away as long as I did. In fact, I never would have left if I had known…" he trailed off, remembering the night that he left Sunnydale and the revelation that Buffy knew she was pregnant then. Dawn had stopped pacing, but still did not turn to face Spike. He got up and walked over to her, placing his hands gently on her shoulders and turning her to face him.

Tears were shining in the corners of her eyes, and threatening to spill onto her cheeks. She finally looked into his eyes, and let her tears fall. "It really hurt, you know Spike? To find out that you were gone and that you didn't even bother to say goodbye…"

He pulled Dawn into a hug. "Bit, I'm so sorry. I left hastily, and I'm sorry that it hurt you. Can you ever forgive me?"

Dawn finally returned the hug, and said "Of course I can, Spike. But I still want the whole story of where you've been and what you've been doing."

"And you'll get it. But I think I need to explain everything to Buffy first. And then, I want to hear all about what you've been up to, and what's going on at UC Sunnydale."

She stepped back to look at him, and finally smiled. "I missed you, Spike."

" I missed you too, Nibblet. Now let's go see if Maggie is ready to go."

Upstairs, Spike and Dawn found Maggie and Buffy packing her little purple duffle bag. Buffy had packed her clothes and her toothbrush, and now they were deciding on which toys she would take. Maggie wanted to take every coloring book she owned, as well as five of her storybooks. Buffy told her that she wouldn't be at Dawn's long enough to take all of those books, but Maggie wouldn't listen. Every time Buffy would take a book and put it back on the shelf, Maggie would get another one and put it in the bag.

Dawn grinned and decided she should intervene. "Hey there Little Bit! Are you ready to go?"

"Auntie Dawn!" Maggie squealed. "I'm so excited to sleep over with you!" She ran over to Dawn, and as Dawn picked her up she winked at Buffy. Buffy took the opportunity to replace about half of the books Maggie had put in her bag. Dawn turned and carried Maggie down the stairs, while Buffy and Spike gathered Maggie's things and followed them down.

They all went outside, and put Maggie's little purple bag into the car.  She ran over to Spike and practically jumped into his arms. He hugged her, and kissed her cheek. "Now you be good, baby, and have lots of fun with Auntie Dawn."

"I will, Daddy. Will you come pick me up tomorrow?"

Dawn looked at Buffy, a little shocked, and mouthed the word "Daddy?" Buffy nodded, and whispered that they had told her the truth.

 Spike smiled at Maggie, and hugged her one more time. "Remember, Bit, I can't come out in the sunshine to pick you up. But your Mommy will come and get you, and then when you get home we will watch TV together and play all your favorite games. Ok?"

"Ok!" She said. Buffy came over and put her daughter in the car, and fastened her seat belt. She kissed Maggie and told her to be good for Dawn. Maggie promised again that she would be. As they started to back out of the driveway, Maggie waved her little hands back and forth, trying to get Buffy and Spike's attention. Dawn rolled down her window, and Maggie called out to them "Bye, Mommy and Daddy! I love you!"

"We love you too, Bit." Spike called out to her.

+ + + + + + 

Once they were back inside the house, Spike wasted no time starting his discussion with Buffy.

"Love, there are some things we need to talk about."

"I know, Spike, but do we have to do it right now?" Buffy said, almost pouting.

"Pet, I need to explain this to you. Where I've been, what I was doing. I've wanted to tell you since the moment I came back. Can we please just do this now?"

Buffy was taken back by the seriousness in his tone. She sat down on the sofa and motioned for him to sit with her. He sat, and she reached out to hold his hand, lacing their fingers together. She leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder. "You know you can tell me anything Spike. And we'll deal with it. Nothing is more important to me right now than having my family together."

He sighed. "I know, Buffy. And I want to tell you everything that happened after I left, and where I've been. But there's one very important thing that you need to know upfront." He turned slightly, to look into her eyes when he said his next sentence. Feeling like he was drowning in her clear, hazel eyes, he said, "Love, the chip… it doesn't work anymore."


	15. Seeking Answers

_When we left off, Spike had just said: _

"I want to tell you everything that happened after I left, and where I've been. But there's one very important thing that you need to know upfront." He turned slightly, to look into her eyes when he said his next sentence. Feeling like he was drowning in her clear, hazel eyes, he said, "Love, the chip… it doesn't work anymore."

+ + + + 

Buffy tried to hide her reaction to his revelation, but failed miserably. Her eyes grew wide as saucers and she felt her skin grow clammy. She still held onto his hand, but her grip loosened as she felt the unmistakable feeling of fear bubble up in her stomach. The kind of fear that one feels when they are facing impending doom, and knowing there is nothing they can do about it, like watching as you're involved in a car accident or as you are cornered by a mugger in an alleyway knowing that there is no one to come to your rescue. She started to absently shake her head in disbelief, since she couldn't quite form any words to say to him.

Spike sensed the change in her immediately, feeling her fingers loosen around his own and sensing the cold sweat she broke out in. He could also smell the fear rolling off of her in waves, and that more than anything else broke his heart. He had never intended for her to be afraid of him, and he started to worry that he wouldn't be able to fix this. At the same time, though, he knew that things were likely to get worse before they got better.

Finally she managed to make her brain and her mouth to work in sync with each other, but still she couldn't really form coherent thoughts. "How…Why…How?" was all she managed to croak out, mentally slapping herself as she unconsciously shrunk away from him on the sofa.

He wanted to cry watching her reaction. He'd never intended to put her through such agony but he knew that he needed to tell her the whole story and make her believe that she could trust him again.

"I didn't do it on purpose, Buffy. Please, you have to believe that. I'll tell you the whole sodding story, from beginning to end. Starting with the night I left. Just please hear me out." He told her, as he got up and started pacing around the room. He would've given anything for a smoke at that point, but knew that smoking inside the house was out of the question.

"I'm listening, Spike." Buffy's voice broke when she said his name. She was trying to remain calm, and give him the chance to explain, but all she could imagine was a horrible reality where her family was brought together for one fleeting moment to only be torn apart again. She glanced up at Spike, pacing around the room, and willed her tears not to fall from her eyes. But she lost that battle almost as quickly and miserably as she lost the battle with her fear at the revelation that Spike's chip didn't work any more.

Spike continued to pace, remembering the night that he left Sunnydale, as he began telling Buffy what had happened during his five-year absence.

+ + + + +

Sunnydale, April  2002 

Spike wandered down the street toward his crypt. He couldn't believe that once again, he'd been dismissed by the Slayer. It still hurt, much more than it should. He was a Big Bad vampire, after all… things like whether or not the slayer had any feelings for him shouldn't matter. In fact, it was completely unorthodox to begin with, his being in love with her. He finally decided that it was too much. Sitting around, waiting for her to throw him some crumb of feeling, other than coming to him every night for some strange sort of comfort or to "scratch an itch" (as he'd put it so many times); it had all become too much for even him to take.

When he reached the crypt, his fury was starting to get the better of him. He started to trash the upper level of the crypt, smashing the many glass liquor bottles sitting around, and overturning furniture. Finally  his feeling of blind rage settled into his gut, and felt a lot more like hurt and a broken heart than anything else. He got up and started packing his clothes in an old, worn out duffle bag he'd picked up somewhere along the way. He rummaged through his refrigerator and packed up all of the blood he had in the cooler that Dawn had given him, making a mental note of how long his stash would last before he needed to find more. Once he had all of his things packed, Spike took one last look around the crypt, and headed for his car. 

He considered leaving a note for the Nibblet, saying good bye and trying to explain why he was leaving, but he thought it better to leave things as they were. It would probably be days before any of the Scoobies came looking for him anyway, and he thought that even if they came looking for him and found the note, he figured that they wouldn't give it to the Nibblet anyway.

So as the engine of his old Desoto roared to life, Spike headed down the highway without a look back, scoffing as he drove past the sign signaling his exodus from the place he'd called home for the better part of five years.

He drove for hours, always at night; not stopping until he realized that sunrise was peeking on the horizon. Only then would he stop and find shelter, usually in some seedy little dive of a place or in old abandoned buildings. He traveled like that for days, until the days stretched into weeks. Finally he reached New York, and with a fleeting thought he left his car in a storage garage and boarded a plane for England.

Touching down in London brought on strange thoughts for the vampire. This was where it all started, so many years ago. He hadn't been back to this place in so many years, too many to count in fact.  He spent several months in the old town, trying to avoid as much of the human and vampire population as he could, only fraternizing with either one to find a butcher that would sell him blood and bar that would serve him his libations. He managed to exist this way for almost a year, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop thinking of the Slayer he'd left behind in Sunnydale.

One night as Spike walked down the dark alleyway toward his favorite bar, his thoughts again drifted to Buffy. He had gotten better at controlling his thoughts of her, and allowing himself to miss her with out brooding. He never brooded, for fear of becoming the poncy poof that he hated so much. Before he knew what had hit him, quite literally, a large, hulking creature jumped from the shadows and smacked him up against the wall of the nearest building. Spike felt the stabbing nudge of a handgun, as the creature demanded that Spike give him all of his money. Before even thinking twice, Spike butted his head backwards, throwing the man off of him. He had gotten in several good punches, and slid into his game face, fighting off the creature with an ease that he hadn't felt in over a year. As he tackled his attacker to the ground and continued to pummel him, Spike finally noticed a vital fact that he couldn't believe he had over looked when he was first attacked. This creature, this hulking thing that held him at gunpoint and demanded his cash, was in fact a man. A common, everyday criminal that roamed the streets of London and preyed on weaker people in the night.

Spike stopped his assault and ran as fast as he could, his mind reeling with the knowledge that he hit this man in the alleyway with no pain from the chip. He didn't sleep at all the next day, turning the events over in his mind and trying to come up with some explanation. He needed answers, and that night when the sun set he went to the only place he knew where he could get those answers. 

He went to see her Watcher.

Giles was shocked, to say the least, when he answered the door in his London flat to see Spike standing there, requesting entrance. Against his better judgment, Giles invited Spike in, wondering what led him to his door. Spike went in and took a seat, warily looking around the place and trying to assess whether or not Giles was going to stake him first and ask questions later.  He never imagined that Giles' first question would throw him so completely for a loop.

"Spike, does Buffy know you're here?"

"No, mate, and I can't imagine she'd care."

"So, you haven't talked to her lately, then? She has no idea that you're in London?"

"No. And I'd be ever so grateful if you didn't tell her. Like I said, I can't imagine that she'd care where I was, and I wouldn't want to bother her with this little "problem" of mine."

"Spike…"Giles started, wondering if he should tell Spike everything that he knew and send him on his way back to Sunnydale. "I think that if you just gave me a moment, I could make you understand that she really does…"

"The chip is broken." Spike interrupted, "And I need to know why."

"What did you say?" Giles implored, quickly deciding to not yet tell Spike about the daughter waiting for him in Sunnydale.

"I said the chip is broken. And don't go getting all wiggy on me mate, I'm not going to hurt you. I just need to know how and why it fizzled out."

Giles and Spike spent the next few days researching and trying to find any plausible explanation for why the chip had stopped working. Finally, the only explanation they could come up with was that the chip used on Spike by the initiative was a prototype, one not designed for long-term use. After a few calls to some contacts Giles still had in the states, he found out that was in fact the case. The Initiative had used prototype chips in their Sunnydale operation, planning in the long run to replace those chips with ones that would keep the demons subdued on a permanent basis.

Then came the more difficult work, of figuring out why Spike didn't want to go on a killing rampage now that the chip wasn't stopping him. Spike knew the answer, as did Giles, although for Spike's sake he pretended to need convincing. Spike's love for Buffy had changed him. He wanted to be better for her; deep down he wanted to be the man that she deserved, and his love for her consumed all that was ever evil about him, until there was nothing left but the way he felt about her.

+ + + + +

Giles helped Spike find his way in the world, making sure that he could cope with his new found freedom and stay on the right track. Several times he considered telling Spike about Maggie, or telling Buffy about Spike, but he always decided against it, not wanting to interfere with the plans of the two star-crossed lovers. He did feel bad, though, knowing that Buffy was looking for Spike, and that he didn't tell her where to find him.

Eventually, Spike moved on from London, traveling around England and doing more research. He tried to find ways that he could be of use to Buffy, other than just accompanying her on patrol, and trying to find ways to redeem himself in her eyes. He knew that she would likely always have a hang-up about him being a soulless vampire, but he hoped that by fighting for good and establishing some kind of reputation that she might one day see that he really had changed for her. He needed to make her understand that his love for her was real, and he hoped that one day she could find it in her heart to return his love.

Spike finally settled in a small town north of London, and continued his self-induced plight of redemption. Occasionally he would find text in a book or Giles would contact him with new information that led him to other places, places where he would be tested and tempted and where he always emerged victorious. Over the course of the four years he spent in England, his occasional travels took him to St. Petersburg, Madrid, Rome, Florence, and Paris. His thoughts always turned to Buffy in these places, always thinking how much he wished that he could show her these cities steeped in mystery and littered with evidence of their pasts.

When Spike turned up again on Giles' doorstep on a muggy day in early June, Giles was hardly surprised. It had been almost four years since Spike had come to him seeking answers, and a little over five since Spike had last seen Buffy. Spike came to him telling him that he thought he was finally ready to move on, and that he was moving back to the States. He never mentioned to Giles that he was actually going home to try and work things out with Buffy; not wanting to put the Watcher in the position of telling him if Buffy had moved on, or of alerting Buffy to his arrival. Spike simply thanked Giles for all of his help, and left England without  a second look.


	16. The Storm

Buffy sat quietly, listening to Spike's explanation of his journey. He paced a lot while he was talking, not ever really looking at her for long periods of time. When he finished, He sat in the chair across from her, sighed heavily, and waited. Buffy was eerily quiet, and he feared, correctly so, that it was the calm before the storm.

Buffy looked at him for a few moments, growing more and more perturbed that he wouldn't look at her. Finally, she said, in a flat tone, "Spike, look at me."

He looked up at her, and recognized the blank look in her eyes. It was the same look she'd had so frequently after her friends pulled her from heaven and she would come to him for comfort. She looked totally disconnected from the world around her, and it was hard to tell if she was angry or just very hurt.

Finally, she started speaking again, holding his gaze the entire time.     

"So, you mean to tell me that Giles knew where you were the entire time, and he never told me. The whole time I was pregnant, while Maggie was a baby, and I was doing everything I could to search the globe to find you, he knew where you were and he never told me."

"No, Love, I had been in England about a year when I went to him."

"Same difference, Spike. So Maggie was about 7 months old when you went to him. He still knew that I was looking for you, that I needed you. And he never mentioned to you that it might be a good idea to at least call me?"

Spike weighed his words carefully before continuing. "No, pet, he never mentioned it. But in all fairness to the Watcher, I never really insisted on knowing anything about you. In fact, I practically told him that I didn't want to know anything about you."

"_WHAT?" she practically shrieked. "I thought you said you were doing this for us, Spike. That the whole time you were on your little quest to find out about the chip malfunction that you were doing it so that we could be together. Or did I misunderstand that lovely little narrative you just told me?"_

"No, Buffy, you didn't misunderstand," he began slowly, weighing each word. "But I had to do this on my own. I couldn't do it with the knowledge that you would be sitting here, waiting on me when I was ready to come back. And I couldn't have rushed through everything I did just to get back to you. And I can tell you, pet, if I had known that you were just sitting here waiting for me I would've done everything I could to get back to you as fast as I could, and I'm not convinced that would have been good."

 Spike stopped for a moment, trying not to let his frustration get the best of him. Finally, he continued. "The whole time I was gone, everything I went through, was for you. I had to know that I could trust myself, before I came back here asking you to trust me. And I had to know that I'd be able to keep you safe. I was trying to be the man you deserve, Buffy, and that's not something I wanted to rush. As far as not asking the Watcher about you… you made it pretty clear how you felt about me the night that I left. You dismissed me, just like you had hundreds of times before. How was I to know that you felt anything for me?"

Buffy got up and started pacing. Spike watched her pace around the room, wondering what was going through her mind. Soon, she started talking again. "I just can't believe that the two of you would keep something like this from me. He knew, the whole time, every time I would call him and tell him about some new lead to find you, he never once mentioned that he knew where you were. This is totally unbelievable. And you… I can't believe you never once asked him point blank if I'd said anything about you. Because he would've had to tell you that I did. Every single time I talked to him it was mostly about you." She continued her pacing, but when she walked over to the steps, Spike stopped her.

"Buffy, where are you going?"

"I need to think, Spike. This is just too much. I'm going upstairs. Stay here in Dawn's room if you want, go back to your hotel if you want. Right now I'm just too angry and confused to care either way." With that she walked up the stairs and into her bedroom.

Spike heard the door slam, and thought that was not a good sign. _Well, mate, that went much worse than I'd ever imagined. How was I to know that the Watcher actually kept my confidence? I figured he would've at least told her that he'd seen me. What a great, sodding mess I've made of it all…  He sat there for a few more minutes, but when he didn't hear anything from upstairs he decided to leave. He went to see the only person he knew could make him feel any better about the situation._

~ ~ ~ ~ 

It only took him about 15 minutes to reach her place. He knocked and waited patiently for her to answer the door. Finally, the door opened. "Hey Niblet, I know the tiny bit's probably already sleeping, but I just had to see her for a minute."

Dawn was shocked to see him, but invited him into her suite quickly. "Spike, you look horrible. What happened? I was sure that you and Buffy would be, um… busy tonight. What with me keeping Maggie and all."

"Yeah, Bit, I'm in a bit of trouble with big sis. Can I just see Maggie, then I'll tell you everything?"

"Sure, Spike. She's in my bedroom. Come on…"

Spike followed Dawn down the little hallway into her room, wondering how she managed to have such a nice room all to herself. He'd have to ask her about this later. They went into her room, and Maggie was sleeping soundly, tucked into the covers of Dawn's bed. Spike sat gently on the edge of the bed, trying hard not to wake her. When he reached out to tuck a loose curl behind her ear, though, her eyes opened, and she warily looked around to see who had woken her.

"Daddy…" she sleepily said. "Why are you here?"

He managed a smile, while gently running a finger down her cheek. "I just missed you, baby. I wanted to come and tell you goodnight."

"Oh," she said, as she sat up. "I missed you too." She crawled into his lap, and loosely wrapped her arms around his neck, before kissing him on the cheek. She yawned, and rubbed her sleepy eyes. "Will you hold me until I fall asleep again? If you do, the monsters won't come."

Spike grinned at her, and shifted her weight so she could rest her head on his shoulder. "I will hold you as long as you want, sweetie. And I'll always be here to chase the monsters from your dreams."

"Good." 

Before long, Spike heard her breathing even out, and knew that his daughter was asleep again. He gingerly put her back down on Dawn's bed, and tucked her back in. Finally, he joined Dawn back in her living room, and sat with her on the sofa. He told her the whole story of where he'd been, and what had just happened with Buffy.

"Spike, I just can't believe that Giles would do something like that." She noticed when Spike snapped his eyes up to look at her, and decided she should correct what she's just said. "Not that I'm saying I don't believe you… because I do. It's just… how could he at least not tell you about Maggie? I can see why Buffy's so upset. But I don't think she's angry with you, so much as disappointed that you didn't ask about her sooner."

"But , Bit, you know how she treated me before I left. I just figured that she still hated me. I honestly thought that she did, and my plan was to come back here and show her how I'd changed… try to win her back. I had no idea she wasn't going to need some major convincing."

"Yeah, well, I think Giles should have told you. And whether you protested or not, he should have told Buffy. It would have saved both of you years of loneliness and heartache if he had."

Spike thought about Dawn's last statement. _Buffy had been lonely while he was gone? Had she really missed him from the beginning?_ He sighed. "I just don't know where to turn. I still love her so much, and I just want to make everything right. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Well, I think you should go back to Buffy's, and just be there for her when she's ready to talk. She can't give you the silent treatment forever. Sleep in my old room again and maybe in the morning she'll be ready to talk to you."

"Yeah, I guess that does sound like an ok plan. It's late, I should probably let you get some sleep, Bit."

"Ok. I have a meeting in the morning with my boss and some other girls from the dorm. But I can keep Maggie as long as you need me to…no classes tomorrow. So tell Buffy to just call me whenever and I'll bring her home."

"Will do, Bit. Wait- your boss? Who do you work for, Nibblet?"

"Oh, I'm the dorm director's assistant. That's how I get this posh little suite in this building." She said with a chuckle. "They pay a nice chunk of my tuition, too, which is really nice."

"Huh. My Nibblet's all grown up and in charge of others. Who'd have ever guessed?" He mused as a smirk found its way to his lips.

Dawn hugged him. "It's good to have you back, Spike. Now go make things right with my sister."

+ + + + 

 Buffy cringed when she slammed her door, forgetting how harsh the wood could sound as it cracked against the doorframe. She could feel hot angry tears welling up in her eyes, but willed herself not to cry. She sat on her bed and listened for any signs of movement downstairs; if she was honest with herself she would have admitted that she was waiting for Spike to follow her and try to work things out. 

She was disappointed when she heard the front door click shut, followed by the great roar of the engine in Spike's old car as he sped away down the street. Buffy felt utterly defeated, not really knowing where to begin to fix the mess that had been created that afternoon. _Well, she thought wryly, __I sent Spike away, I might as well start with the person who's available…_

She picked up the phone and dialed the number that , over the years, she had committed to memory. On the third ring she noticed the time, and laughed bitterly to herself. It was the middle of the night in England, and Buffy didn't really care that she would be waking Giles at such a horrible hour.

After a small click and a rather cordial greeting Buffy began speaking to the answering machine that was suddenly quite offensive to her. "Giles. Pick up the phone, I know it's the middle of the night there and I know you're home. So pick up. We need to talk- _right now." _

A sleepy British accent sounded over the line, sounding partially confused, but also a little bit defensive. "Buffy, good Lord, what is the meaning of all of this? What's so important that you couldn't wait until morning to call me?"

She could practically hear him cleaning his glasses as she began to talk to him, trying her best not to loose her cool. "Oh, I don't know, Giles. How about the fact that Maggie shouldn't have had to miss the last five years with her father, always wondering where he was and why he didn't come to see her? Is that important enough for you?"

"So, I take it Spike has been there, then?"

"Yes, Giles. He's been here for a couple of days. Maggie is just ecstatic that he's here. So it really is true, then, You knew all along where he was and never even mentioned to me that you could help me find him?"

"Buffy, you have to understand…"  
  


"No, Giles. I don't have to understand anything. You knew how desperately I wanted to find him, to tell him about Maggie and have my family together. And you knew where he was, and could have told either him or me so that could have happened, yet you didn't. I can't believe you did this to me, Giles."

"Buffy, I didn't do anything _to you. I was trying to do something __for you. He came to me seeking answers, and wanting desperately to be able to protect you. He didn't want there to be any chance that he'd hurt you. We've all seen quite a change in Spike, and I was trying to help him become the person he thought you deserved. I'm sorry if you think that my motives were less than honorable in keeping a confidence for him." _

Buffy sighed. "You know, that's basically what he said to me. I'm just still having a hard time with all of this, Giles. I mean, Spike didn't know about Maggie, so he had no real reason to come rushing back to me. I certainly hadn't given him any real reasons before he left.  But you knew… you knew the whole story and didn't tell him. I'm not so angry anymore, Giles, just hurt."

"Well, I'm sorry that I've hurt you Buffy. That was not my intent at all. I hope that once you take some time to think about this that you'll see that everything quite possibly is working out for the best."

"Maybe so. I have to go now. Maggie is at Dawn's and I need to call and check on her. Besides, its late. I'll talk to you soon. Good night Giles." She hung up the phone and sat back down on her bed. She thought about calling to check on Maggie, like she'd intended, but noticed the time and figured that she and Dawn would already be asleep.

Buffy curled up on her bed, staring out her window at the stars, and wondered what she should do. She couldn't really be mad at Spike. After talking to Giles she realized that he really did have her best interests in mind while he was gone, and she admired that he was trying so hard to be noble for her… for them, really. She still wasn't sure about Giles, though. That was a hurt that would take a lot longer to heal.

+ + + + 

Note:

I promise there's more fluffy goodness on the way. Please don't give up on it :) It'll be in the next chapter, which will hopefully be later tonight…


	17. To make it right

Lying there on her bed, gazing at the stars, Buffy felt way too passive. All these wounds had been opened tonight, and she felt like there should be something that she could do about it, other than lie there and sulk. Just as she felt herself slipping back into the Buffy of old, the Buffy that would cry and sniffle and then blame herself for everything that had happened that evening, she decided to take a different path. She wasn't going to sit there in her room and play hostess to the current pity party. And she certainly wasn't packing any bags for a guilt trip on the Buffy express.

She got up with a start, and headed to the basement.

The basement had, over the last five years, been slowly renovated into the perfect training space for Buffy. Having Maggie didn't make it so easy to make it to the Magic Box to train, since she usually only caught small bouts of training when Maggie was napping or at playgroup. The once sparse basement now housed her laundry "room" in the back corner, while the rest of the space was occupied with her punching bag, exercise mats, balance beams, weights and other equipment.

Scrounging around in the laundry basket on top of the dryer, she found a tank top and some old sweat pants to quickly change into. Buffy hastily taped her knuckles, and then began to pummel the bag hanging from the opposite corner of the room.

She hit the bag tentatively at first, then allowed her blows to form a steady, harsh rhythm. She hadn't really used the bag that much in training lately, and Buffy found that the rough feel of the canvas and the satisfying squish of sand beneath her knuckles were oddly comforting. She poured out all of her frustrations, all of her doubts, and all of her fears, letting the punching bag take the brunt of her wild emotions. She was so caught up in this old routine of hers that she didn't even hear the front door swing open and click closed.

+ + + +

Spike entered the back door to Buffy's house with trepidation, completely unsure what he would find. He knew that once Buffy was totally ticked off, she could stay that way for a while. He didn't know if she would still be fuming up in her room, if she would have fallen asleep by now, or if she would be waiting for him in the kitchen to give him the beating of his life.

Just as he closed the door behind him, the refrigerator fan clicked off, and the loss of its comforting hum plunged the room into an eerie silence. The whole house felt still, yet possessed with a stressful tension. 

He stood there, having no plan of action other than to follow the Niblet's instructions. _Go make things right with my sister, _she had urged. Just then he saw that the door to the basement was ajar, and heard the sounds coming from below; the heaving breathing and frustrated grunts occasionally pierced by colorful curses that he had no idea she even knew. Spike crept down the first couple of steps, until he could barely see Buffy, taking her frustrations out on the punching bag. She was so absorbed in what she was doing that if she sensed his presence, she never let on. He quickly, yet stealthily, retreated, thinking that making things right was going to be harder than he'd originally imagined.

He decided to leave her alone, and silently locked the front and back doors before going to Dawn's old room. He was suddenly overwhelmed at how tired he felt, both physically and emotionally. Shrugging out of his duster, t-shirt and boots, Spike crawled into the bed and burrowed under the covers that felt oddly comforting. Before too long he drifted into a deeply sound, yet dreamless sleep.

+ + + +

Buffy ascended the stairs to her room, vacantly peeling the layers of tape from her hands. Pushing a sweat-drenched lock of hair from her eyes, she decided to by-pass her room and head straight for the shower. Her slayer sense perked up a little, but she let it go, feeling that she was safe in her own house.

Once out of the shower, she felt a bit renewed, yet still upset with Giles, and regretting her earlier outburst with Spike. She really wished that she had not dismissed him so absently earlier, pretending that she didn't care if he left or if he stayed. Her made-up apathy and flippant dismissal of him was what had gotten her in this predicament to begin with. Slipping on her nightgown and draping her robe around her shoulders, she left the steamy bathroom to head to her own bed. 

Just as she cinched the robe around her waist, she felt her slayer senses tingling again, but not in a bad way. In that oh-so-good way they did whenever Spike was around. She glanced over to Dawn's doorway, and noticed that the door was halfway closed.  Peeking in, a sad smile found its way to her lips. Thin strands of moonlight found their way through the windows that had been carelessly left uncovered and fell on his white-blonde hair, making it look as if the stars were dancing around his head. One hand rested on his bare chest, just above his un-beating heart, while the other rested outstretched on the bed as if beckoning her into an embrace. Buffy remembered how he had usually looked so peaceful in sleep, but this night she noticed that a disappointed scowl found its way to his chiseled features, giving the appearance that he was in some sort of turmoil. Turmoil that she caused.

Entering the room and sitting gently on the edge of the bed, she looked at him for another moment before she started speaking. "Oh, Spike, I feel like I've made a total mess of things. Deep inside, I know that you weren't trying to hurt me. You were trying to protect me. And you'll never know how proud I am of you. I just tend to over react, as usual. Why do I have such a problem telling you things like this when you're awake?" 

He had remained unphased by her soft declaration, still sleeping soundly. She let one of her hands hover over his that rested on his chest, and noticed that the scowl left his face when their skin finally came into contact. Feeling a little bit bolder, she laced their fingers together, and leaned over to place a feather-light kiss on his lips.

She barely pulled back, only far enough that she could see when his eyes drifted open. He squinted, trying to figure out if she was really there, or if he was dreaming. Confusion swept over his face, as he began to question her presence. "Buffy, what…?"

She silenced him by placing her index finger over his lips, and feeling the electricity that was building between them. With her face still mere inches from his, she whispered "Tell me you love me."

The confused expression stayed, and before Spike could form the words, Buffy whispered again.

"Tell me you want me."

Spike's eyes grew wide as the words became suddenly familiar, and he remembered the last time he'd heard them. "Slayer…" he started, with a warning in his voice.

"Please, Spike. Tell me. Help me make this right. Please…"

It was the second please that broke his resolve. His other hand came up to the back of her neck, pulling her toward him. Their lips met in a surprisingly gentle, yet passionate kiss. "I love you, Buffy." Spike said as she broke away to breathe. He kissed her again, this time letting go of the hand that she was holding on to, and using it for leverage to sit both of them up. Pulling back to look in her eyes, he repeated what she needed to hear. "I love you, pet. And I've never stopped wanting you."

Her eyes glistened, and she tried to make her hands be everywhere at once. She pulled him toward her for another kiss, and let her hands roam over the exposed skin of his back and chest. Spike began an exploration of his own, running his fingers through the ends of her hair, and holding either side of her face while he rained soft kisses on her. When his hand deftly untied her robe and began to push it off her shoulders, she abruptly jumped up off the bed and grabbed his hand, beckoning him to come with her.

"Love, what are you doing?"

"Come on…" she said, as if she was making perfect sense. Her directive was met with a skeptical look from Spike.

"Come Spike, with me… to my room, my bed," she said, while still trying to tug on his hand. Finally she managed to get him up on his feet. She pulled him close again, started walking backwards, pulling him along the way. In between tiny kisses to his cheeks and shoulders, she said "I mean, I love you and all, but this is still my sister's room and that's just… ewww!" 

He stopped, refusing to follow her anymore. "Pardon, Love? Come again?"

"My room, Spike, let's go." She breathed out, still in between kisses.

"No, pet. I got that part. Say the other part again." 

"Huh?"

He barely cocked his head to the side, waiting for realization to sink in. He smirked when it did.

Her mouth fell open, in a perfect "oh…" shape. He half expected her to start backpedaling and try to take it back, even though he'd heard her whisper it from the porch on his first night back. He was happily surprised when she smiled, so brightly that he could have sworn he was watching the sunrise. "I love you Spike."

She watched as his eyes lit up, and a genuine, happy grin formed on his face. "Well, Love, it certainly took you long enough."

She playfully smacked him on the arm. "Always the smart-ass, aren't you Spike?" She grabbed his hand and once again started tugging him toward her room. Once they were out in the hall, Spike suddenly swooped her up in his arms, and carried her the rest of the way, making a grand production of kicking the door shut and depositing her on the bed.

He looked at her, with such raw emotion in his eyes that Buffy could barely stand the intensity.  What she didn't realize was that she was matching his gaze almost perfectly. They could just about feel the air change around them, becoming thick with the electricity and tension of their anticipation. Slowly, Spike approached her, and gently placed a hand on either side of her face, bringing her lips toward his and capturing them in a tender kiss. 

"Love, if this is a dream, promise you won't ever wake me."

"It's not a dream, Spike. And by my calculations, we have a lot of time to make up for," she said, with a little bit of a gleam in her eye.

"That we do, Love, that we do." He practically pounced on her, devouring her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss.

"Wait, Spike," she said, pulling back from his kiss. He looked confused, and was disappointed with the sudden loss of contact with her. Suddenly a little shy, she looked up at him and almost whispered, "Will you… I mean, can we… I don't want it to be like before you left."

He thought he understood what she was getting at, but the selfish part of him desperately wanted to hear her say it. He nodded, encouraging her to continue, saying, "It doesn't have to be, Buffy."

"Make love to me, Spike. Let me show you how much I love you."

He once again began raining gentle kisses all over her face and neck, and they got a good start on making up for all the time they had lost. 


	18. It's my party

Spike awoke feeling warmer than he'd felt in years. He sighed before opening his eyes, relishing the feel of waking up holding the woman he loved in his arms. When he did open his eyes, he could almost felt his heart beat, noticing how beautiful Buffy looked. She was curled up in his arms, with her head resting on his chest, a peaceful look on her face and a contented smile gracing her lips. He felt a wave of happiness wash over him; before she had never let him hold her like this, they'd never spent an entire night together (aside from the first night in that abandoned house) and he certainly had never woken up to see a smile plastered on her face before she even woke up. Then a stab of pain found its way into his heart as he remembered the few times that they'd actually spent any time together after their marathon romps around the crypt. He remembered how he would think that he saw a spark of caring in her eyes, and then they would glaze over again, replaced with a cool, non-caring gaze before she would remind him what a huge mistake they were making and then bolt out the door. His eyes misted up with tears when the fear and uncertainty of her reaction this morning crept into his mind. What if she did it again? What if what happened last night was all just comfort for her, and this morning she would again think that they'd made a mistake? Spike didn't think that he would be able to take it if that was her reaction, and he carefully started formulating a plan to try and avoid any reaction at all from her. He tried to contemplate a way that he could get up and sneak out, but judging from the way Buffy was still wrapped around him and holding onto him, he didn't really know how he could manage to escape.

Buffy shifted a little in her sleep, and her slight movement jarred Spike from his thoughts. He flinched when he felt her move, and jostled her just enough to wake her from her peaceful sleep. She opened her eyes, a little warily at first, and turned her head to squint up at Spike. He waited for her reaction, having already convinced himself that it was going to be bad; that they were doomed to fall back into their old patterns. 

She studied him for a moment, creasing her forehead with worry while she took in the hesitation and uncertainty in his eyes. Finally, she said "Good morning Spike."

_Good morning. That's a new one, _he thought as he continued to stare at her. "Morning, Love," he replied.

The silence stretched between them once again, and they just continued to lay there, neither one moving. Finally, Buffy let a huge grin break over her features. "Morning? That's all I get, Spike? Really, I thought that given the chance you'd be a lot more romantic." Shock took over the look of uncertainty as she started to pout at him. "Don't I even get a good morning kiss?"

"Oh, I'll show you romantic, pet. I've been waiting five years to show you romantic," he practically purred.

Buffy squealed as Spike held her closer to him and rolled her over on her back. Neither of them cared that the sheets were now tangled around them or that they'd just managed to kick the comforter off into the floor. Spike leaned down and kissed Buffy until she was breathless, and then kissed her a few more seconds before releasing her to breathe.   

He pulled back slightly to look at her flushed face. He grinned as her eyes fluttered open again and she panted to catch her breath. "Good morning, Love."

She smiled and reached her hand up to caress his cheek. "Wow," was all she could come up with. She swatted his hand away as he tried to pull her closer to him again.

"Spike… stop. If you don't stop I'll never get anything done today."

"Would that be so bad, pet?"

She rolled her eyes and playfully said "No, I guess not. We'll just stay here in bed all day, then _you_ can explain to your daughter why her birthday party isn't planned."

"Right then. Off you go."

She kissed him and scampered off to the shower. He propped up in the bed, and contemplated how great things were turning out. Then, he remembered that Maggie's party was in a few days, and he started thinking of how much of Maggie's life he'd missed out on. When Buffy came back from the shower, she found Spike sitting in the middle of her bed, flipping through a photo album and looking like he was on the verge of tears.

"Spike?" Her brow knit together when he looked up at her and the look in his eyes made her heart feel like it was breaking. "What's wrong, Spike?"

"I just can't believe I wasn't here. I missed her birthday parties, and all of this other important stuff in her life, and there's no way I can make that up to her. Ever."

"Spike. You have got to stop beating yourself up about this. Sure, I would've loved it if you were here for all of those birthdays and milestones. But you're here now, and you'll be here for all the good things that will happen from now on. She's so excited that you've come home, and she's not going to understand if you're sad every time you look at her because you regret not being here." She pulled him into her arms and held him, trying to soothe away his sadness. "I think that from now on, we should just have no regrets. What's done is done, and if we dwell on what happened five years ago, how can we make the next five years of her life wonderful?"

"I know, Buffy. Ok then, no more regrets. So what do we have to do to make sure our princess has the best birthday party ever?"

+ + + + + 

The next few days passed by quickly, and each day Maggie got more and more excited about her party. On the morning of, Spike and Buffy were awakened by an overly ecstatic Maggie jumping on their bed. She climbed up onto the bed, and pounced right in the middle of them.

"It's my day! I'm five! I'm five!" She chanted as she bounced on the bed. Buffy stifled a giggle as she heard Spike groan and open one eye to look up at Maggie.

"Sweetie, stop jumping on Mommy's bed." Buffy prodded, trying to get her child to calm down, even though she knew that it was probably a lost cause. 

"But it's time for my party, Mommy! I'm so excited…" she said, as she started to test her bouncing skills again. "And Auntie Willow is coming today, right? And I get to have cake, and Daddy will be there. It's my best party ever!"

Spike decided he should probably jump in. "Uh, Bit, it's still pretty early. Your party doesn't start until later this afternoon, remember?"

Her smile faded as she considered what he said. "Oh. Yeah." She stopped bouncing and just sat there, looking at Spike as a frown settled on her face.

"Oi, what's that frown for?" Spike asked as he reached out and grabbed Maggie, pulling her close to him and cradling her in his arms. 

"Nothing," she said quietly. "I just want my party to be here, and you said I had to wait."

Buffy watched in awe, knowing that Maggie was just working to wrap Spike around her little finger a little bit tighter. Spike kissed the top of her head, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Tell you what, Lil'Bit… you go in your room and get your little table cleaned off, and I'll go make us some breakfast, and you and I will have our own early party, just for us. How does that sound?"

Her eyes lit up as she thought about his proposition. "We can eat breakfast in my room?"

"We sure can," Spike told her.

"But… Mommy doesn't let me eat in my room, only if I'm sick." She told him.

"Well, I think that Mommy will let us make an exception for your birthday. And if you like, it'll be our special time. We'll always have birthday breakfast from now on. Just us."

"Really? You mean it?" She asked, the smile that lit his world slowly returning to her face.

"I really mean it. Now go on, and get ready. I'll be there in just a bit."

"Ok!" she exclaimed, jumping off the bed and heading for the door.  When she got to the door, she turned back. "Mama, you'll help Daddy cook my breakfast, right? So that it's good?"

Buffy almost laughed out loud, right in front of Maggie. The look on Spike's face was priceless as his daughter questioned his cooking skills. "Yeah, sweetie, I'll make sure he gets it right," she said, turning to wink at Spike. Maggie seemed satisfied, and ran down the hall to her own room. Buffy snickered, and finally just lost control and started giggling, much to Spike's dismay.

"Uh, pet, what's so bleeding funny? Have you lost it or something?"

"No, Spike… I just wish that you could have seen your face, when she asked if I'd make sure you made her a good breakfast. It was like she'd just delivered the insult of the century." By this time, she was laughing so hard, she was gasping for air. "And I just kept thinking… the Big Bad Vamp is sitting here, with his pride wounded because his daughter thinks that he can't cook."

Spike rolled his eyes and flopped back down on the bed. "Fine, have a good laugh, slayer. I just wanted to do something special," he grumbled, as he turned away from her. Buffy could tell that she'd pushed too far.

She scooted over closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, despite his attempts to squirm away. She placed a little trail of kisses from his temple to his ear, and then whispered "I think it's sweet that you wanted to do something for her birthday, just the two of you. And you'll never know what that will mean to her. She'll look forward to it, every year."

Spike turned to face her. "Well, pet, I just wanted to try and make up…"

"Spike, remember what we said a few days ago. No more regrets."

"I know…"

"Oh! And you just experienced a family tradition. I forgot to tell you. She always comes in and wakes me up like that on her birthday. Dawn actually started it, and now that Maggie's old enough to get up on her own, she does it every year. She comes in and pounces like that, and reminds me what day it is, as if I could forget."

Spike smiled. "What do you mean Dawn started it? Tell me the story."

"Well, Mom used to wake us up early on our birthdays and remind us that it was our special day. When Maggie was one, Dawn remembered how Mom used to do it, and decided to alter the tradition a bit. She went in and got Maggie up early, and then crept into my room, and bounced on the bed with Maggie, singing some little song she made up about it being her birthday. Maggie's done it ever since. On her birthday and at Christmas. I'm so used to her doing it, that I totally forgot to tell you last night that she'd likely wake us up this morning."

"I actually sort of enjoyed the surprise, Love. Now, I guess I'd better get up and go make breakfast for my princess."

+ + + + 

While Spike and Maggie had breakfast in her room, Buffy finished cleaning up the living room and the kitchen in preparation for the impending onslaught of the 5-year-olds of the neighborhood. Just as she was pouring her second cup of coffee, a small knock on the back door caught her attention. She went to the door, and was happily surprised when she opened it.  
  


"Willow! I didn't think you were coming over until later, with Xander!" Buffy ushered the red head into the kitchen, hugging her as soon as the door closed behind them.

"Well, that was the original plan. But I woke up this morning with way more energy than I though I'd have after my flight yesterday, so I decided to come see how my favorite little munchkin was doing."

"Well, she's actually upstairs having a special birthday breakfast with her father," Buffy told Willow, smiling slightly at her best friend. "Come upstairs, but quietly. You have to see this."

The two friends climbed the stairs and stood quietly outside Maggie's room. Spike was sitting on the floor, and Maggie sat in her little chair at the tiny table in her room. A little tea set sat in the middle of the table, while full size plates, forks, and glasses took up most of the room on the table. The two sat there, happily munching on pancakes and scrambled eggs, and Maggie sipped milk from her glass while Spike nonchalantly sipped a strange combination of coffee and blood from his coffee mug. They each wore a little paper hat, with "Happy Birthday!" written on the front, that Spike had found among the party decorations that Buffy had assembled for later. While they ate, Spike was telling Maggie an amazing story about a princess and her father, the king, who celebrated birthdays in a castle in England.

Willow's eyes got misty as she stood and watched the two of them together. She couldn't believe that she'd had any doubts about Spike being back in Buffy's life, and at that moment she knew that she'd do nothing but support his presence.

Buffy tugged on Willow's sleeve, and motioned for her to follow back downstairs. Once they were back in the kitchen, tears began to slip down Willow's cheeks. "Will, what's wrong?" Buffy asked, growing concerned.

"That was the sweetest thing I think I've ever seen," she started. "Buffy, about the other day when I called. I didn't mean to not be supportive. And I just want you to know that I'm so happy for you that he's back, and I promise from now on I'll be nothing but supportive for you and your family."

Buffy walked over and hugged her friend again. "Oh, Will, I know. And thanks. I'm so happy to have my family together and happy, and it means so much that you're happy for me."

They smiled, and Willow wiped the tears from her face. Buffy, however, started to chew on her bottom lip, worry crossing her features. "I knew that you would be happy for me, Willow, and Dawn was too, once she got over the initial shock. Xander on the other hand…"

Willow put her hand up, motioning for Buffy to stop. Then she put on her famous resolve face. "Don't worry about it. You just let me handle Xander."

(TBC…)


	19. Birthday

Spike groaned as he listened to the conversation coming from the room next to him. Maggie insisted that she wear her pink princess outfit to the birthday party, while Buffy gently tried to convince her to wear the new sundress that she'd bought just for this occasion. After about twenty minutes of the debate, Willow had jumped into the fray, desperately trying to help Buffy convince Maggie to wear the dress. After about fifteen more minutes, Buffy appeared in the doorway, glaring at Spike as he stood in the doorway to their bedroom listening to what was going on.

"Help me!" she demanded, knowing that all it would take was Spike coming into the room for Maggie to settle down.

Spike sauntered into the room, taking in the sight of an exasperated Willow sitting on Maggie's bed holding the new sundress while Maggie danced around in her little shorts and t-shirt, with her princess outfit dangling from her right hand and a little tiara dangling from her left. Buffy followed behind him, crossing her arms over her chest and huffing.

"Wow, Red, that's a very pretty dress you have, I bet it'll be lovely on," Spike drawled, the only response from Willow being a roll of her eyes.

"That's not Auntie Willow's dress, Daddy, it's mine" Maggie said as she stopped dancing around and looked up at him. "Do you like it?"

"I love it, but it looks like you'd rather wear your princess outfit, so I guess I won't get to see you in your pretty new birthday dress."

"You want me to wear it?"

"I would love for you to wear the dress to your party. And I think that Mommy would be happy if you wore the dress that she bought for you too."

"Ok. Auntie Willow can help me. How long till my party starts?"

Buffy looked at her watch. "A little less than an hour. Will you be good and let Auntie Willow help you get dressed while I go finish up some things in the kitchen?"

Maggie nodded her head, and Buffy and Spike went downstairs to finish the party preparations. Once in the kitchen, Buffy turned to glare at Spike again. "You couldn't have done that about twenty minutes earlier? You knew all she needed was for you to come in and tell her you like the dress for her to agree to wear it."

"I know, Pet. But it was too much fun listening to my girls go round and round. She definitely takes after you when it comes to trying to get her way." Spike smirked as he stepped closer to Buffy and reached out to pull her toward him.

"Oh, no you don't. Don't think you can just swagger up to me and give me some sexy smirk and make me forget why I'm dangerously close to making you sleep on the sofa tonight."

He continued to pull her into his arms, despite her pitiful attempt to struggle. Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close to him before turning her around and massaging the tight muscles in her shoulders and back. As she started to relax against him, he leaned in and kissed her earlobe, his voice sending shivers along her spine as he whispered "You won't make me sleep on the sofa, Love, because you know if you do then we won't get to continue this later."

"And you like to think you're not evil anymore," she said, laughing as she turned around to kiss him briefly on the lips.  "Now, lets get the rest of these decorations put up before every child in the neighborhood gets here."

Soon Maggie bounded down the stairs, with Willow following closely behind. Maggie was wearing the new sundress that Buffy had bought for her, but the tiara that went with her princess outfit sat lopsided on her little head. Spike and Buffy grinned as they noticed it, deciding to let her wear it, since it was her birthday. Before she could realize it, Spike swooped her up into his arms and spun her around, telling her how beautiful she looked.  
  


"I love you Daddy, I'm glad that you're here for my party" she said, bringing a huge smile to Spike's face and causing Buffy and Willow's eyes to get misty.

"I love you too, Lil'Bit." He replied, as he reached up to straighten the tiara on her head. Just as he put her down, the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of the first wave of guests. Buffy opened the door, and Spike was amazed at the sight of all the children pouring into the living room, most of them followed closely by their parents, each carrying gifts wrapped in all shades of paper and ribbons. All of the moms made sure to tell their little ones to be good before confirming with Buffy what time they should be back to pick them up.  Spike noticed Maggie talking with one of the little girls, and overheard her call the girl Chloe. He grinned as he thought of the idiosyncrasies of children, how they would be having the fight of a lifetime one day and be best friends again the next. He strolled over to Buffy and Willow, just as both of them were noticing that the Harris family had not yet arrived.

"They didn't say anything about being late when I left this morning, Buffy.  I'm sure that they'll be here soon." Willow said. " If they aren't here in a little while I'll call and make sure everything is okay. I really have no idea what could be keeping them."

At that moment, Anya walked through the front door, with little Alex in tow. "I'll tell you what kept us. Xander was acting like more of a four year old than his son, that's what!" she exclaimed. "Honey, go tell Maggie Happy Birthday and put her gift on the table. I'll be there in a minute. Spike! Willow mentioned that you were back! How have you been?"

Spike took in the flurry of movement and speech that was Anya, noting that she really hadn't changed much at all, just like the rest of the Scoobies. He grinned, and replied "I've been pretty good, Anya, especially since I got back and have been spending time with Maggie and Buffy. I'm surprised that the whelp didn't tell you I was back though… he did see me the other day when he stopped by."

"Oh, well, you know Xander. Sometimes he can't get over himself long enough to act like a grown up." She said, rolling her eyes. Spike smiled at her bluntness, and was thankful when the front door opened yet again and Dawn breezed in, carrying a huge gift bag and two boxes, all wrapped in dark purple paper and tied with lavender ribbons. 

Spike went to help her with her load, as Buffy, Willow and Anya all greeted her. "Dawnie, you're going to spoil her with all those presents," Buffy started. "I told you only one."

"Oi! She can spoil my little girl all she wants to" Spike interrupted. They all made their way into the living room to get the party off to a proper start. First the children gathered around and played a game with Dawn; while the other adults watched and giggled at how much fun the children seemed to be having. Then it was Willow's turn to entertain them with her neat card tricks that Maggie seemed to love so much. After several more games, Buffy convinced them to watch the newest Blue's clues video while she and Dawn got the cake ready.  Maggie insisted that her Daddy watch with them, and that she sit in his lap while they watched.

A few minutes into the video, Willow thought she noticed a familiar brunette pass by the front window. "Uh, Spike… are you ok with the kids? I need to go outside and get some air for a minute." She knew it was a lame excuse as soon as his scarred eyebrow shot up to question her sudden outburst, but he nodded anyway, and she excused herself from the room.

Once the front door closed behind her, she looked around but didn't see him. "Xander Harris, I know you're out here, so you might as well go ahead and come out." Xander stepped around the side of the tree that Spike used to hide behind so many years before and tried to put on a resistant face to counter Willow's resolve. "What are you doing lurking around out here? Why didn't you just come inside like a normal party guest?"

"You know why, Willow. He's there. And I'm just not so sure about him being back yet," he told her, as he started kicking the dirt at his feet with the toe of his shoe.

Willow rolled her eyes. "You have _got_ to be kidding me. Anya was right. You do act like a four year old sometimes." 

Xander's eyes shot up, and he looked as if he didn't know whether to be really offended that his wife thought he acted like a four year old or that his best friend agreed with her. "I do not act like a child!" he said, as he continued kicking around in the dirt.

"Ok." Willow stated, motioning to his actions. "Xander, come here." She commanded. Once he was on the porch, she pushed him over to the window, so that he could see all of the children and Spike sitting around watching the television. As if on queue, Maggie leaned her head over on Spike's shoulder and Spike kissed her on the forehead, whispering something endearing to her. "Now, tell me, Xander, what exactly looks wrong with that picture?"

"Well, nothing if you don't know that he's an evil soulless vampire."

"Xander, just stop it. Why can't you grow up and realize that what matters is that Buffy and Maggie are happy. That little girl loves her father more than you or I could ever imagine. And Buffy loves him too. And he loves them.  They are finally a family. Why can't you just support Buffy and be happy for her?"

Xander just stood there, looking at Willow and not really knowing what to say as she continued. "You know, in all honesty, if we hadn't been so unsupportive of her relationship with him in the first place, they might not have lost all that time together and Spike wouldn't have missed out on seeing his little girl be born and start to grow up. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let your attitude ruin this day for any of them. He's back, and he's a part of their lives now, and everyone is fine with it. So you can either suck it up, come in and act like an adult and be happy for Buffy, or you can go home and sulk like a child. What will it be?"

Just then, the video ended and Maggie noticed the pair standing outside, looking in the window. She started waving wildly, and smiling at Xander and Willow. As he waved back to her, Xander said softly "I guess I'm coming in." They both went inside and Xander was tackled by his own son and by Maggie, both demanding hugs from him.

"Uncle Xander, you're late." Maggie said frankly.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry. I didn't miss presents did I?"

"Nope. Mommy says I have to wait till after cake."

Spike regarded Xander with a little curiosity until Xander finally spoke. "Hey, man, welcome back. I don't guess I ever got around to saying that the other day."

Spike was even more curious at the way in which Xander was speaking to him. He wondered just what Willow had said to him while they were outside, but decided that as long as he didn't cause any problems it really didn't matter. "Yeah, thanks. So, Maggie seems pretty excited that you made it to her party. Sorry that you had to be late."

Xander smiled. "Yeah, well as long as I didn't miss cake and presents I guess it's all the same, right?" Their brief conversation was cut short as Buffy called all of the children into the dining room for cake. Spike watched as Buffy brought a cake into the room with a picture of the Count on it. Five candles were placed carefully around the Count's picture, and after Spike told her to make a wish Dawn snapped a picture just as Maggie blew out the candles. 

Later that night, as Spike tucked Maggie in, he couldn't remember a time when he'd been happier. "Daddy, I'm glad that you were here for my party. It was my best party ever," she told him as she hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad I was here for it too, Bit. Now you settle in and get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." He tucked her in and turned to see Buffy come into the room to kiss her daughter goodnight. They both stood in the doorway, watching as Maggie blew kisses to them as they turned out the light.

Buffy crossed the hall to her room, but stopped as Spike headed for the stairs. "Spike, where are you going?"

"Well, Love, I seem to remember you saying that I had to sleep on the sofa tonight."

"Get over here," she started, reaching out to grab his arm and pull him into their room. "You still owe me a massage."

A low rumble started in his chest as he gave a saucy look and replied, "That I do, Love…"

TBC…


	20. Something's off...

Ch 20: Something's off…

Buffy tossed and turned for a moment before finally opening her eyes and sighing heavily. Her eyes fell immediately to the moonlight and bright stars shining through her open window, and she thought how beautiful they were before confusion set in. Why was the window open? She never forgot to cover the windows at night; if she did Spike would be all dusty in the morning. Even more confusing was the fact that he was not laying next to her, and that in the pre-dawn darkness her room looked strange. 

She sat up in bed, blinking as she looked around her room. _Wait a minute, this is my old room. What's going on?_ She looked around and confirmed that she was indeed sitting in her bed, in her old room. Buffy snuck out into the hall, and peeked into the rooms next to hers. Dawn slept peacefully in her bed, and Willow was curled up under the covers in Joyce's old room. As Buffy walked back into her room, she tried desperately to figure out what was going on. Where were Maggie and Spike? Why were Dawn and Willow here? She didn't remember feeling this strange since just after the scare with the demon serum and the mental institution hallucinations. 

_Was I dreaming?_ Buffy flopped down on her bed, trying to make sense of what was happening. Everything had felt so real. Maggie was turning five years old, and Spike had just come home, and they were a happy family. Now she wakes up and not only are the two people she loved the most _not_ there, but there was no evidence that it had ever been true.

The sudden, slight fluttering in her tummy brought everything crashing back into reality. 

She rummaged through the drawer of her nightstand, picking out the worn and usually forgotten journal that she kept there. She looked from the last entry to the calendar that hung lopsided on her wall. Everything was clear as she read her journal through the tears that began to prickle at the back of her eyes. It had only been two days since she'd taken the pregnancy test, and she hadn't yet told any of her friends about it.  She'd told them that she just wasn't feeling well, and had basically been sleeping in her room since the little white stick had mockingly stared back at her with a positive result. Today was April 1st, and Buffy knew that if she'd waited until today to take the test she would have sworn the result was the most horrible April Fools joke in the history of such pranks.

All of the feelings from her dream came flooding back to her, but the one that stuck out the most was the loneliness she'd felt without Spike.  But then she realized that her feelings of loneliness weren't a dream. She had alienated Spike so many times that he was finally leaving her alone. She knew that he was still in Sunnydale, because Dawn had slipped up and mentioned going by the crypt to see him. But he was effectively ignoring Buffy. She put her hand over her stomach protectively, noticing that she was filling out a little bit, but not enough for anyone to notice just yet. "Don't worry, baby" she said, as she got up and got dressed, "I'm going to tell him, and you won't have to grow up with out him. I know he'll love you just like we dreamed."

+ + + + + 

Buffy opened the door to Spike's crypt, a little out of breath from sprinting through the cemetery in the thick night air. _Ok, baby, we're gonna have to discuss this getting winded thing. It doesn't really work with the whole slayer calling. _She called out for Spike, but eventually saw no signs that he was there. She crept down to the lower level, and instantly felt bad when she surveyed the remnants of the damage left over from the explosion a few weeks earlier. He had cleaned up part of the debris, but the bed was still pretty damaged, and black smoke stains covered the stone walls.  She picked up a few candles and sat them on and old dresser that stood in the corner of the room, only partially charred by the blast. She looked down at the rug she was standing on, noticing how it was all but destroyed. Just a few weeks earlier, she had complimented that same rug, commenting on how nice Spike had managed to make the place. That was all gone now, she mused, as she climbed the ladder back to the upper level.

She wandered around for a few minutes, wondering where Spike could be. Buffy finally sat down and switched on his tv, deciding to wait for him to come back, but her mind just couldn't concentrate on the countless infomercials that graced the screen in the early morning hours. Her thoughts drifted to the very vivid dream she'd just had, and she suddenly realized what scared her the most. There was a chance that Spike would leave. He always told her he wouldn't, but she still didn't feel confident enough to think that he wouldn't ever leave her. _Where is this coming from? This is Spike. What would it matter if he really left? _But she knew that was a loaded question, and one that begged an answer.

She'd been trying from the very beginning to deny that she had any feelings for Spike at all. Now, she knew that she felt something, but she still just wasn't sure what those feelings were, if she was really ready to admit them, and how much they were being affected by her present condition. She'd heard that pregnant women got all hormonal and emotional… could her judgment be clouded? Even so, Buffy found herself in a predicament. What if her dream came true… what if she didn't tell Spike about the baby right away and he left town and she had to raise the baby all alone? On the other hand, what if she told him and his reaction was still the same? All of the worrying about his reaction and the reaction of all of her friends was taking its toll on Buffy, and she finally let the soft glow and hum of the infomercial soothe her into a troubled sleep.

Spike wandered through the tunnels and into the crypt, cursing the swimminess he felt in his near-drunk state, deciding he hadn't drank nearly enough to dull the pain of Buffy's most recent rejection. All thoughts of not being drunk enough left his mind as he registered the sounds of the tv coming from upstairs. He climbed the stairs, distinctly remembering turning the set off before he left.

He stopped in his tracks when he advanced closer and saw the slayer curled up in his chair, sleeping fitfully while the loud man on the telly raved about getting red wine and grape juice out of your laundry. She didn't look peaceful at all, and his heart nearly broke when he saw the anguish that crossed her features. Nearly. Until he began to wonder what would possess her to come to his crypt in the wee hours of morning. _Probably came for another round of kick-the-Spike_, he thought ruefully. But, something wasn't right. He was close enough to her now that he could hear her heartbeat if he was quiet enough, and it sounded off. Like it was normal at first but then had these fast little trippy sounds underneath.  She looked pale, but not really sickly. In fact, he thought she wasn't looking as skinny as she had a few weeks ago, but she looked so tired, even in her sleep, that he wondered what was up with the slayer.

He wouldn't have to wonder for long.

A particularly vivid image of Spike walking away penetrated her sleepy mind, and her eyes snapped open when the pain gripped her heart.  She looked up and saw Spike standing over her, regarding her presence with a skepticism that was purely his. She sat up, pushing her hair out of her face and attempting an explanation.

"Spike, you're back. I was beginning to wonder if you were coming back at all. I mean, not that it's any of my business, of course, but I just wondered…" she cursed herself when she realized she was babbling.  She rolled her eyes and looked away as he stepped back and shook his head.

"Did you need something, Slayer?"

He noticed that she flinched, and her voice sounded way too tiny when she said, "Please don't call me that."

He tilted his head and quirked his eyebrow, wondering where all this vulnerability was coming from. "Ok…. Buffy. Did you need something?"

She finally raised her eyes to meet his again, and took a deep breath to bolster some confidence. _Out with it, Buffy. Just tell him what you came here to tell him and get it over with. What's the worst that will happen? He won't believe you and you'll find the information to make him believe and all will be well. _ "Um, I.. um, I need to tell you something, Spike. And I need to know that you'll hear me out and give me a chance to explain."

"Look, Buffy. If you're here to remind me about how we're over, then you can stop now. I've heard this tune so many times that I've memorized it."

"No, Spike, this is important. Well, it's important to me anyway, and I hope it will be important to you." She said, before her thoughts took a nosedive and she started babbling again. " I mean, I think you'll think it's important, and just please don't leave again, because I don't think I could take that feeling again and having to explain to her where you were and why you left us, and…."

"Buffy!" Her eyes snapped up at his tone when he interrupted her. "What the bleeding hell are you going on about? Just spit it out already. I've got things to do."

Something in his tone pushed her over the edge, and she was acutely aware of how he must have felt all those times that she dismissed him without a second thought. She decided to stop beating around the bush and just tell him. "I'm pregnant Spike."

His eyes grew as wide as saucers as he considered for a second that the child was his. But then reality set in and he remembered that he wasn't 'set up' for children. He was about to shoot back some clever quip when Buffy cut him off. "I know that right now you probably don't think it's yours, but it can't be anyone else's. And you'd know that if you stop and think for a half a second."

Her eyes were pleading with him to believe her. "But, I can't… vampires can't…." He sighed at his lack of eloquence. "You know this Buffy. Children aren't possible with vampires."

"Yeah, under normal circumstances," she calmly replied. "But Spike, we live on the Hellmouth and our circumstances are hardly normal."

He sat down with a huff on the stone sarcophagus in the center of the room. Buffy crossed the room and stood in front of him, looking at him and silently asking him to believe her. "I know this is pretty unbelievable,  Spike. But I'm pretty sure that I can figure it all out in the next couple of days. Will you just promise me that you won't leave until then? Just please say that you won't leave me. I don't think I can do this by myself."

Spike's brow creased as one eyebrow rose in confusion. He took a chance and reached out for her; surprised when she willingly went into his arms. "Hey now, Love, what makes you think that I'll be leaving anytime soon? Haven't you told me on countless occasions to get out of town?" She nodded against his chest. "And how many times have I obeyed?" She looked up at him and grinned before settling back into his embrace.

He held her for a long moment, enjoying the feeling of having her willingly in his arms. It was then that he realized what was odd about her earlier. It wasn't her heartbeat that sounded strange; it was the baby's that he was hearing, fluttering beneath hers. Buffy started to fidget in his arms, and he tried to still her.

"Spike, this isn't the most comfortable position I'm standing in."

"Well, we can fix that." He swooped Buffy up into his arms before she even had a chance to protest, and carried her with him over to the chair she'd been occupying earlier. "Better, Love?" he asked, once they were settled with Buffy securely perched in his lap.

To his surprise, she snuggled further into his embrace and laid her head on his shoulder. "Yeah, that's better," she sighed.

"Good, now stop your squirming so I can hear my little girls heart beating."

"How do you know it's a girl?" Buffy whispered, her breath tickling his neck and making him almost groan.

"I just know, Pet. What made you think I'd leave?"

"I just had this dream, that was part bad, and part good."

"Want to tell me about it?" He asked, trying really hard to concentrate on anything other than the way her breath felt on his neck, or the way her fingers were absently exploring his chest.

"In a minute." She replied, while lazily raising her head to look at him. Her tired, hazel eyes met his brilliant blue ones, and she knew that she couldn't push her feelings away any longer. She loved this man, and didn't want to spend another moment with out him. And she certainly didn't want to wait until their daughter's fifth birthday to tell him. She reached her hand up and ran her thumb across the sharp plane of his cheekbone, gently bringing his face closer to hers. His expression drifted back to confused, until they were within a breath of each other. When she closed the distance between them and kissed him, he was completely shocked. It took him a moment to register what was going on before he responded, kissing her back but keeping the pace slow and gentle. "There's something else I want to tell you before I tell you all about the dream."

He smiled at her; a genuine smile free from innuendo or sarcasm. "And what's that, Pet?"

"I think I'm falling in love with you."


	21. Resolve

Ch21: Resolve 

Three days later, Buffy sat on the table in her doctor's office; slightly uncomfortable in the little paper gown the nurse had given her. The doctor had already been in for her examination, and had confirmed what Buffy already knew to be true. She was about four months pregnant and everything seemed to be free of complications as far as the pregnancy was concerned.

Buffy wished that she could say the same for her life.

After telling Spike all about her epic dream and laying all her fears out for him, she had decided that it was time to face the music and tell her friends about the baby.  She'd gone to the magic box, and was not really too shocked when she went straight to the shelf where the book was that explained her mystical pregnancy. The prophecy wasn't quite as cheesy as the one from her dream, in fact, it was more like one of those "if…then" statements from high school calculus or science. "If the slayer and the vampire meet certain circumstances, then this will be the result"; but it was still just as complex and she still needed Giles to decode it for her.  

She had of course told Dawn the news first, which was no problem at all. Dawn thought it was nothing short of the coolest thing that could've happened, and she was even happier to hear that Buffy and Spike would not be breaking up after all. The Summers women then set out to call Giles, making sure to call him during normal waking hours in England, since their news was likely to set him off enough without the whole middle of the night factor to deal with.

Buffy had asked Giles to decipher the text for her, which he gladly did, before realizing its implications. He was shocked at first, and almost started lecturing her on the reasons why having a baby with Spike was a bad thing, before Buffy interrupted him and told him that she was actually very happy with the situation. For the first time since her friends had brought her back from her grave, she felt totally and completely happy.  Her only concern was that there was something she was missing, and that some horrible evil would be coming after her child. Giles promised to do more research, and in fact found that there were no such strings attached (that he knew of). After calming her fears and realizing that she was happy and healthy, Giles couldn't really argue with her or focus on the negatives. He had promised to come visit soon and of course be there when the baby was born.

Telling Dawn and Giles had been so easy, that Buffy was lulled into a false sense of security when she told the others. She'd called everyone together for a meeting at the Magic Box, and tensions were high to begin with between the ex's in the bunch. Anya stayed perched behind the cash register, glaring at Xander who sat at the table across the room. Willow and Tara didn't glare at each other, but they didn't exactly make with the friendly conversation either. Dawn watched them all, and tried everything she could think of to break the ice before Buffy and Spike got there.

When the two blondes finally entered the shop, tension was so thick it could practically be cut with a knife. Xander immediately bristled, wondering aloud why Spike had to be there. Once Buffy told them what her news was, all hell broke loose. Xander had threatened to stake Spike on the spot, Anya had broken down and started crying about the unfairness of Buffy having a baby before her, and everyone had found out that Tara knew about Buffy and Spike's "relationship" before anyone else. Buffy had tried her best imitation of a resolve face when she told them all they could either support her or not be a part of her pregnancy, but the night had finally ended with all of the Scoobies leaving in an angry huff, and Buffy sobbing on Spike's shoulder.

Buffy was startled out of her memories when the door to her examining room clicked open. She turned, expecting to see the doctor, but smiled when she saw a familiar blonde head peek into the room.

"Spike! What are you doing here? How did you get here? How did you know I was here?"

"Hey, Love," he smiled, closing the door behind him and coming to kiss her gently. "You know, I can get anywhere I want to during the day as long as it's on my "tunnel route".  And you told me you had to come to the Doctor's office today…last night, remember?"

Her face flamed and she grinned as she did just that… remembering the things they'd done the night before after giving in to Dawn's requests to spend the night with a friend. Her being pregnant certainly hadn't slowed them down in the 'making up for lost time' department. "The nurse said it was ok that I come in with you, but if you want me to go…" He playfully turned away, as if he would walk out of the little room.

 She reached out and grabbed his hand, stilling his movement. "No. I want you to stay. Dr. Birch is coming back and she's going to do an ultrasound today."

"That's where you can see the baby on that little monitor?"

"Yes, that's the one. And if the baby is in a good position, we might can tell if it's a boy or a girl."

Dr. Birch entered the room, and was thrilled to see that Buffy wasn't alone. She did the ultrasound, and confirmed their suspicions that the baby was a girl. While Buffy dressed, Dr. Birch spoke with Spike in the hallway.

"It's going to be very important, William, for you to be supportive of her in the upcoming months. She needs to be as stress-free as possible, and I'm giving her some prenatal care information today. She'll need to take her vitamins and be sure to follow all the instructions I give her."

"That won't be a problem, Doc." He assured her. "I'd die before I let anything happen to my girls."

+ + + + +

As the weeks passed, all of the Scoobies began to warm up to the idea of Buffy having a baby. All of them, that is, except for Xander. He refused to even talk to Buffy about it, and refused to see that any good could come from a relationship with Spike that didn't include a dusty ending. He had made his feelings crystal clear- he was disappointed with Buffy for even having a relationship with Spike in the first place, and he was even more unnerved by the fact that she now thought she was in love with the so-called evil, soulless monster and wanted to bear its spawn.

He had even taken to stalking Spike's crypt and trying to pick fights with the vampire, which Spike gracefully declined, making Xander even more angry. When he couldn't get either Buffy or Spike to respond to his antics, he started in on Tara, thinking that she would be an easy convert. But that only lead to Willow finding out, which explained why she showed up on his doorstep one evening seething with anger.

"Xander, what the hell is wrong with you?" she asked when he opened the door.

"Well, hello to you too, oh best friend of mine." He said with a snort. "Why don't you come on in?" he mused when Willow pushed past him and stalked into his living room.

"Xander, why is it that everyone but you is supportive of Buffy? Why can't you stop for one second and see that she is happy, and that she needs the support of her friends?"

"Oh, I don't know, Will. Maybe it's the monster that's responsible for her being in this predicament to begin with."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Do you even stop to think about the crap that comes tumbling out of your mouth before you say it?" Her tone was so motherly that Xander had no response, other than to look wide-eyed at her like a child who's in deep trouble. "Think back if you will, and tell me this. Who put his own feelings aside and took care of Dawn last summer when we were all too caught up in our own grief to worry about it?"

Xander's eye roll was not enough for her. "Answer me!"

"Spike did."

"Yes, Spike did. And how many times did he try to hurt her, or ask us for anything, any single thing in return?"

"None," Xander barely whispered, not wanting to admit defeat.

"Right again. He did it out of respect for the woman that he loved and had lost.  And now, when we have the chance to pay him back just a little by being supportive, you act like a four year old. You have got to get over this disillusion that you are Buffy's ultimate protector. She's safe with Spike, and she's happy."

"But…"he started, only to be cut off by his best friend.

With her resolve face firmly in tact, she presented him with his options. "No buts, Xander. Now it seems to me that you have two choices here. You can either suck it up and go apologize to Buffy for the way you've been acting and truly be her friend, or you can keep acting like a childish…child and risk loosing her friendship forever."

Xander stared at her, slack-jawed, trying to process where this outburst had come from. Before he could really register any sort of response, she was out of her seat and breezing out the front door.

"I'll leave you to think it over. I trust you'll choose wisely," Willow said over her shoulder, just before the door closed behind her.

(tbc)


	22. It's time

Willow sat in Buffy's old room, stenciling little white moons and stars above the new chair rail on the freshly painted twilight-colored walls. She smiled as she looked around at the white baby furniture, noting the delicate design of the pieces Buffy had chosen.  She had fallen into an easy habit with the painting, and started reflecting over everything that had happened over the last few weeks. 

When she'd returned home after her talk with Xander, she'd been met at the door by an ecstatic Dawn proclaiming that Buffy and Spike were engaged. After getting over the initial shock, she ventured into the kitchen where the couple in question affirmed what Dawn had told her. He had proposed, and she had accepted, neither wanting their daughter to be without either parent if she didn't have to, and wanting them to be a legal family when the baby was born. 

The next few weeks had been a flurry of planning: for a wedding and a honeymoon and a nursery. The gang had barely been able to keep Buffy calm during all of the excitement, and by the time the wedding was a few days away, she was freaking out because the nursery was barely started. Willow chuckled when she remembered Spike making an off-handed comment about hormonal pregnant women, and the look on his face when Buffy actually made him sleep on the sofa that night.

Now the two were married, and off on their long weekend honeymoon in San Francisco. Buffy wasn't comfortable traveling very far, but she and Spike both knew that this would basically be their last chance to get away together before the baby came. San Francisco had seemed a natural choice, since it wasn't too far away and didn't hold any of the obvious baggage that Los Angeles did.

Willow, Tara, Anya and Dawn had been working almost non-stop on the nursery since the couple had left, hoping to have it finished by the time they got back.  Willow had decided it was time to move out, and find a place of her own. Things still weren't great between Willow and Tara, but they had managed to start working toward a friendship again, both wondering if they would ever get back to the relationship they'd once had. Buffy and Spike would be taking over Joyce's old room, and Buffy's room was being transformed into the cutest nursery Willow thought she'd ever seen. 

Just as she finished painting the last little moon on the wall, a knock at the front door jarred her from her thoughts. Anya and Dawn were due back from the baby store at any moment, insisting that they go and pick up the linens for the crib and other supplies for Buffy's surprise baby shower, and Willow figured they were back and needing assistance bringing in all the stuff they'd bought. She jogged down the stairs, and flung the door open, expecting to see two women loaded down with packages. Instead, she saw no one, and was a little bit suspicious until she looked around the porch and noticed that the caller had left something behind. Sitting off to the side of the porch was the most beautiful little white bassinet that she'd ever seen, complete with little detailing that almost matched what Buffy had picked out for the baby's room.

Willow brought it inside, and instantly recognized the handwriting scrawled across the envelope, addressed simply to "Baby Sinclair". Tears sprang to her eyes as she looked at the bassinet, and thought of the time it must have taken Xander to make it, and she wondered how he had managed to copy the detail on the furniture that Buffy had already chosen. She was still sitting there, contemplating the thought that Xander might actually be coming around when Anya and Dawn did get home. Each girl had their own thoughts about his gesture, and both wanted to open the letter and see what he had to say. Willow finally convinced them that it would be wrong, that Buffy should be the one to open the letter and read it. 

+ + + + + 

The Summers/Sinclair home looked like baby central on the day Buffy and Spike were scheduled to arrive home from their honeymoon.  The nursery was completed, and the baby shower was all set. The living room was decked out in pastel colors (which all of the girls thought Spike would hate, but would have to deal with), and little baby shower decorations were placed everywhere. Streamers flowed over the doorway, almost creating a curtain, and a banner with little shapes of safety pins, diapers, and baby bottles was tacked up over the entrance to the kitchen. Giles had sent money to buy a stroller, and the girls had picked out the most extravagant one they could find. It was the Cadillac of baby strollers, one with so many features that "grew" with the baby, they were certain she'd be able to use it until she was at least two. Willow, Tara, Dawn and Anya had each picked out an outfit for the baby, along with some essentials like tiny towels and baby lotion and baby bath, except for Anya, who had brought over a gift certificate for a case of diapers along with the little layette she'd picked out for the baby. "One can never have too many diapers when there is a new baby around" she'd reminded them.

"Hurry, hurry!" Dawn screeched, as Willow put the finishing touches on the cake for the shower. "I see their car… they'll be in here any minute now!" Each took their place in the living room to surprise the newlyweds when they came in.

Buffy noticed that a light flicked off and then on and then off again in the living room just as she started walking up the front sidewalk. "That's odd… why are the lights flickering like that? Spike, you don't suppose anything's wrong do you?"

"No, Love, I'm sure Bit is just trying to find the perfect light to watch a movie in…you know how she gets when it's cinema time." He had all ideas that the girls were planning something, he just didn't know what, and if it was indeed a surprise for Buffy there was no way he was going to be the one to spoil it by speculating on the light show inside the house.

They ascended the front steps, and before she knew it, Spike had carefully swept Buffy off of her feet and into his arms.  "What are you doing?" She said around her laughter, leaning in to kiss Spike before they went inside and were bombarded with honeymoon questions from their friends.

"I'm preparing to carry my bride over the threshold, of course," came his simple reply, smiling when she relaxed into his arms.

"Hmm… I never pegged you to be one for tradition, Spike." 

"Well, Love, we've already broken so many, I thought it might be nice to actually stick by one for a change."

He reached down and opened the front door, and nearly dropped Buffy when the four young women jumped out of nowhere, in the semi-darkness, and yelled "SURPRISE!" He surged into his game face before even realizing it, his only thought being to protect his girls. The fit of laughter he heard caused him to shake it off, and roll his eyes at the hysterical girls in front of him.

"What's so funny?" he demanded. "Don't you people know by now that you don't jump out of the bleeding darkness and yell at the Slayer and a Vampire?" 

Dawn continued to laugh, trying desperately to catch her breath after her fit of laughter. "Oh, come on Spike, you had to know something was up… I mean we kept flicking the lights on and off, just so YOU wouldn't be freaked out when we yelled surprise."

Buffy looked around at all of the decorations as Spike put her down, amazed at the lengths her friends had gone to to try and make this a special homecoming for her. "You guys did all this for us?"

"Of course we did. Happy Baby Shower Buffy" Dawn gushed, pulling her sister into a tight hug.

"T-there's presents in the living room, a-and cake in the kitchen" Tara told her, leading the way so that Buffy could see the rest of the shower set-up.

Willow's smile grew brighter when she saw the awed look that blossomed over Buffy's face as she looked at everything in the room. "Buffy, the nursery is all finished, too. You won't believe how beautiful it looks," she said, glancing at the others for the confidence to go on. The other girls nodded, signaling she should tell Buffy and Spike about the bassinet. "Um, another gift arrived the other day, along with a letter… we didn't read it, we thought we should let you and Spike open it up and read it."

Buffy's brow creased with worry, thinking the worst; that Giles had been wrong and that something or someone was going to come for her baby. "Is it something bad?" she asked, turning to Spike and hoping for the best.

"Oh, no!" Willow rushed to recover, "It's nothing bad. It's just a gift, um, from, um… Xander. It's upstairs, in the nursery, if you want to go see it now." Each of the girls hoped that she'd go ahead and read the letter, because each one was dying to know what he'd said in the letter.

Spike immediately sprang to the defensive. "If that whelp does anything to upset you…" he started, until Buffy shushed him into silence.

"Spike… let's just go see what it is. Give him a chance, you never know… he might be coming around," Buffy urged.

Spike grumbled, but followed her up the stairs to the baby's new room. Both of them teared up when they opened the door and saw the transformation from Buffy's bedroom to the nursery for their daughter. Tears fell down her cheeks when Willow showed Buffy the bassinet from Xander. "I'll just leave you two alone. We'll all be waiting downstairs for you."

Buffy picked up the letter, running her fingers over the surface of the envelope before opening it. Spike sat down in the new rocking chair, and pulled her into his lap to read what Xander had written to their unborn baby.

_Dear Baby,_

_You don't know who I am yet, but I'm your mom's good friend Xander. I've known your dad for a long time, too, but to say that we are friends would be a real stretch. I would have liked for this letter to be a little more personal, but you have no idea how protective of your name that your Mom and Dad are being. So, for now you'll just have to be "baby", and hopefully someday soon after you're born I'll get to meet you properly. _

_I made this bassinet for you to sleep in. I hope that you'll like it. I was driving through town one day and saw your Mom leaving the baby furniture store, so I waited a little while and then went in and asked the lady at the counter what she had picked out, and she showed me. I told her I was an old friend and wanted to get a gift for you that would match everything else. So I went home right away and sketched out the pattern so that I could try to make it match all the pretty furniture your Mom had picked out for you._

_You're probably wondering why I didn't just call your mom up and ask her what she picked out if I'm such a good friend of hers. Well, Baby, the truth is that lately, I've been a real jerk to her, just because I didn't exactly get along with your dad. And I know that was wrong, because, the truth is, your dad's a good person.  Even though I like to deny it every chance I get, he loves your Mom a lot, anyone with eyes can see that, and he's been there for our little group of friends on more than one occasion. See, there was this summer when your mom had to go away, and we were all really sad to be here without her, but he was probably the most sad of all. I was just too blind to see it at the time. But he stayed here, and helped us all out, and took good care of your Auntie Dawn, until your mom could come back to us. And he never asked for anything in return. But then, when your mom did come back, I was not so nice to him, and made your mom feel really bad about being with him. _

_But now I see that I was wrong, that they are happy together. And having you has made them even happier. You see, Baby, grown up problems can sometimes get so out of control that we just don't know how to fix them, but hopefully someday I'll be able to fix the problems between us and let your mom and dad see that I really do want to be their friend again. And hopefully when that happens I'll get to meet you, and teach you all the funny jokes I know, and show you some tricks to make your dad crazy. But if for some reason that doesn't happen, then I want you to always remember that I'm glad that you're going to be a member of this family, and that I love you and your mom very much._

_~Xander_

Buffy looked up at Spike with tears streaming down her face, and noticed with a little shock the tears glistening in his eyes as well. "Do you really think he means it, Spike? Do you think he might be willing to try to accept us and be happy for us?"

Spike put his arms around her and held her close, brushing the tears from her cheeks and tucking her hair behind her ears. "It sounds like it, Pet. But you'll never know if you don't ask him yourself."

Buffy looked a little confused, remembering the party that awaited them downstairs. "Go, call him, Love. Invite him to your shower and talk to him. He was actually grown up enough to write the letter, now you be grown up enough to call the whelp and give him a chance to explain things in person."

Buffy smiled and kissed Spike briefly, before going to do just that. Later that evening, when Xander came over, Willow smiled, thinking to herself,  "it's about time…"

+ + + + +

Later that summer, on a hot August day, five very nervous friends paced the waiting room at the Sunnydale Hospital. Three women had already gone in, and proud papa's had brought the news back that their babies had been born. Two of them had boys; one had a girl. Yet the rag-tag group who huddled in the front corner of the room had no news. Every now and then Dawn would come out, and tell them that Buffy was ok, and that her labor was progressing, but still no baby.

"I just don't understand what's taking so long." Anya whined. "These other women came in after Buffy, and they got out first. Doesn't her baby know that we had to close the shop to come here and wait for her to be born?"

Giles rolled his eyes. "Anya, I'm sure that Buffy's baby doesn't really care that you closed the shop today, but one day I'll bet that she will be eternally grateful that you gave up your profits for today to await her arrival."

Willow chuckled at her reaction, and smiled when Xander tried to talk to her and explain why these things take time. She was glad that he had finally came around and decided that Buffy was too good of a friend to loose, and that Spike could be a good friend to all of them as well. He also seemed to be slowly patching things up with Anya, which made Willow glad. She and Tara still hadn't been able to make much progress toward being a couple again, but they were still friends, and it made Willow happy to know that at least some good could come from all the pain they'd all experienced over the last year.

Finally, Dawn burst through the double doors leading to Labor and Delivery, sporting the biggest grin any of them had ever seen. She gushed out the news so fast that they all wondered how she managed the speech without taking a single breath. "She's here! She's finally here! And she's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen in   my whole life!  Spike got squeamish at the sight of all the blood, and I totally laughed at him, because, hello? He's supposed to be Mr. Blood-and-Guts! But then, we heard this tiny little cry, and there she was!"

They all cheered and hugged, and prepared to go welcome the newest member to their group that was more like an extended family than a group of friends thrown together by less than normal circumstances. When the doctor allowed them, the group ventured into Buffy's room to meet her daughter.

Buffy sat in the middle of the bed, holding the baby wrapped snugly in a pretty pink blanket, and Spike sat beside her, stroking her hair and smiling like someone had just given him the world. Buffy and Spike had already decided on her name long before coming to the hospital to bring her into the world, having no doubts as to what their daughter's name was, but hadn't shared the name with anyone else until that moment.

The group made their way quietly into her room, bringing with them flowers and balloons and smiles of congratulations.

"Oh, Buffy, she's beautiful, just like Dawn said," Willow cooed, reaching out to touch her tiny fingers.

Giles and Xander merely stood and watched, allowing their manly pride to prevent them from gushing over the baby, but instantly knowing the second they laid eyes on her that she would one day wrap them around her little finger. "Have you named her yet?" Giles spoke up, bringing some attention back to Buffy and Spike.

Buffy shifted her daughter in her arms so that the group could see her a little better. "We have, actually. Scooby gang, I would like for you to meet Margaret Anne Sinclair." She leaned down and kissed the baby's forehead, before whispering, "Maggie, this is your family."


	23. Epilogue

Epilogue

Children overtook the living room of the house on Revello Drive, all there to celebrate Maggie's fifth birthday.  Gifts of all shapes and sizes were placed on the coffee table and on the floor around it, wrapped of course in all shades of purple-her favorite color. Spike silently mused that they would have to build another room onto the house to accommodate all of Maggie's new possessions. The joyous sound of children's laughter filled the air all afternoon as they all played games, and ate cake and opened presents.

At the end of the party, Maggie declared that this was her best birthday ever, and all of the adults laughed, remembering that she'd made that same declaration after each birthday party since she could speak. Giles had been absent from the party, having commitments in England that kept him from attending this year, but he had sent spectacular gifts from some of the most exclusive children's shops in London. Willow was there, as usual spending the last of her summer vacation in Sunnydale before heading back to teach her classes at the small private college in New Orleans where she had finally settled down and started a life of her own. Tara had stopped by, not wanting to miss the little princess's big day, nor the interaction between Maggie and Alex, Xander and Anya's little boy who was only a year younger than Maggie.

Later that evening while Spike put Maggie to bed, Buffy disappeared to the little library they'd created in their home office. She sat in her overstuffed chair, taking a moment to reflect on her life and the changes that she never would have imagined before having Maggie. Spike had of course demanded that she quit the DoubleMeat Palace after learning that she was pregnant. He'd started writing, and actually managed to get several of his books published. He had such a wide range of genres to write in, from historical perspectives to fiction best sellers, and he was an instant hit with his readers, allowing the royalties from his work to more than amply support them. After Maggie was born Buffy had gone back to school, and finished her degree in English. She now worked from home, with Spike, doing most of his editing for his new books. 

She walked to the bookcase, seeking out a very specific volume. As she ran her hand along the titles, searching out the one she needed, the well-placed reading lights glinted off the blood-red ruby of her engagement ring, and highlighted the diamonds in her wedding band.  She had actually wanted just a simple, gold band when Spike proposed to her, but he insisted that she have nothing but the prettiest, flashiest band the jeweler had to offer.  Finding the book she was looking for, she plucked it from the shelf and settled back into her chair to read the passage she needed to confirm her suspicions. Once she found it, she simply smiled and placed the book back in its place, before going up the stairs to kiss her daughter goodnight.

Buffy settled under the covers of her bed, and lingered just a moment when Spike kissed her before snuggling into his embrace to fall asleep. It was in quiet moments like these that she was most thankful that the Powers had seen fit to send her the dream of Maggie, and had given her the chance to avoid all that time away from Spike, without him knowing about his daughter. Her eyes drifted closed as Spike wrapped her up in his embrace, and she decided to wait until morning to tell him her news; that their prophecy apparently wasn't a one-shot deal. There was another little miracle on the way, and somewhere, deep in her heart, she just knew that the new baby she was carrying was going to be boy. She would name him William, after his father. 


End file.
